‘Bites the Bullet’ for @bitethebulletstories
to tear down walls about gender stereotypes and stigmas…”Growing up as non-straight, gender non-conforming in a small, conservative town in Italy was a challenge. To be fair, I didn’t realize I was more than XX on the gender spectrum until last year. It was like every missing piece in my childhood had suddenly clicked.
I remember when I would look at myself and think, “There is something wrong with my body” or “Something is missing” I’d feel a deep anguish, upset and incomplete. Then I’d feel absolutely fine the day after.
It’s not something a child can easily understand, especially without knowing that transgender people existed.
I repressed my feelings and labeled them crazy. I pushed that part so deeply in the back of my mind that, in those days where I was feeling male, I would force myself to act, dress and be more feminine. To prove to the world and myself I was not crazy.
It’s like I had been playing with a Shape Sorter my whole life, trying to fit my block in one of the toy’s holes and never managing to get the right shaped hole.
Last year was when I realized there was nothing wrong with me. I saw a character in a show and realized they were non-binary. A world opened. The Shape Sorter had a new hole, and my block fit right in.
Since I came out as genderfluid, every day is a surprise and new challenge. Who I am and what I should look like to match what society expects of me has been a journey that’s brought self-discovery and self-acceptance. Learning to love my body as a male is helping me appreciate parts of me that society labels as flaws in the female body.
The love I am learning to give myself as male should be the same love that I should be giving myself as female: I am as much deserving of love as a woman as I am as a man.
If on my female days I want to leave the house with hairy legs, so be it. If on my male days I want to wear a dress over my binder and pin a flower to my hair... honey, you watch me do it.” 📸 @farrahaviva #bitethebulletstories #genderfluid #shethority #lgbt #lgbtq