Creative, Sick & Dreaming ♡

It's hard to explain. But I never stop trying.

Cornwall 💓🌊 If I remember rightly, I hadn't been up to much on this day but had the most relaxed half an hour watching the sunset on the beach. It was also one seriously cosy outfit. How much happier could I be? ~ Photo description: I'm smiling at the camera, wearing a knitted hat with a bunny face and ears stitched on to it and a cable knit jumper with a blue bag strap and pale leopard print scarf. The photo cuts off before my trousers which were... Also leopard print. It looked classy, I swear... Behind me there's sand, sea and the pink light of a sunset shining through the clouds. ~ ~ ~ #Spoonie #ChronicIllness #InvisibleIllness #SickChick #MEcfs #MeAwareness #SpoonieBlog #hypermobility #ChronicPain #ChronicLoveClub #ChronicLoveClubUK #HappyPlace #StuffThatHelps
Enjoy my favourite recent photo of these two, who I'm still missing since we're still out of the house ♡ ~ Photo description: Picture of two rabbits, Hunny is mostly white and fluffy with brown and grey markings (and ears), Arthur is more velvety and mostly brown with white patches. They're like the reverse of eachother.
My parents found a fairy wandering around so took a picture of her. Strangely her wings aren't visible in the photograph... ~ Photo description: Fairy person (spoiler alert- it's me) wearing a pale blue and pink floral dress, long hair worn down with a fake flower pinned in the back. Also wearing my favourite white converse with very small wedge heels. (A touch of background information for everyone: I was walking about a bit on this path waiting for my dad to tug the wheelchair backwards up a small set of steps... The things we do for love and fairy magic.) ~ ~ ~ #Spoonie #ChronicIllness #InvisibleIllness #SickChick #MEcfs #MeAwareness #SpoonieBlog #hypermobility #ChronicPain #ChronicLoveClub #ChronicLoveClubUK #Exploring #CollectifClothing #HairFlower #DelicateStyle #FairyMagic ;)
Sometimes I have to remind myself to look up from a screen of noise and advertisements and competition and remember what still feels like. Still can be a hard thing to face, a world without editing the contrast on photos of my smiling face. How to fill a day without the illusion of connection, how to face a world without all the things I've imagined which I don't actually have. Still can be terrifying. Thing is, only by seeing through the noise can I hear what it is I really need. We deserve so much more. ~ Photo description: Different beds of flowers, yellow, purple, a sort of peachy orange and grass. Some can be seen through others so it looks nice and layered. ~ ~ ~ #Spoonie #ChronicIllness #InvisibleIllness #SickChick #MEcfs #MeAwareness #SpoonieBlog #hypermobility #ChronicPain #ChronicLoveClub #ChronicLoveClubUK #LateSummer #FlowerBeds P.S. This came off deeper and more cryptic than I intended, oops.
Little hint of my new skirt! It is in the video I made for my song "Trees and Tea". It's very swishy and now I've taken the waist band in it's even better! Also happy to be reunited with my wedge converse which I had left at home when we moved to the flat (because of our water leak). I've felt overwhelmed by many things recently and sometimes nothing brings me comfort. Other times I find it in songs, skirts and converse. And the video for that song is still linked in my bio if you haven't had a chance to take a look 🍃 (hint hint, not so subtle one at that) ~ Photo description: there are some dark black railings with reeds behind them (it's the edge of a pond) and I've got my feet resting on the bottom edge of the railings, I'm wearing a "banana leaf" print skirt in various shades of green and white converse with frilly socks poking out the top. ~ ~ ~ #Spoonie #ChronicIllness #InvisibleIllness #SickChick #MEcfs #MeAwareness #CollectifClothing #RetroStyle #VintageInspired #Nature #SpoonieBlog #hypermobility #ChronicPain #ChronicLoveClub #ChronicLoveClubUK < CLC now use hashtags with your country's abbreviation attached so you can get to know other's a little nearer to you!
Dragging you out of the "autumnal vibes" party over there to share this photograph from spring earlier this year. A day which marked the beginning of my joyful (though at times stressful!) discovery of these vintage inspired dresses (I now have... A few). 👗 Why was it stressful though, Sakara? eBay. I ruddy hate my "relationship" with eBay. Every time I think it's improving I forget to bid on something before it ends then VICIOUSLY beat myself up over it. Don't think I could be vicious? That's because you're not me and I'm nice to everyone else 😉 I'm sharing this seemingly pointless information because it's something I am desperately working on and because I want you to know that no matter how pretty a picture everyone else seems to post, each one of the people you see on here has hidden struggles 💕 I say that as though "I forgot to buy something on eBay" is a serious life problem... The struggle I'm actually referring to is the beating yourself up about it afterwards! Because those kinds of thought patterns are things that need to be taken seriously so we can be kinder to ourselves! ~ Photo description: Side veiw of my face (thought the world needed another photo of my face) with my hair loose and straight, there are out of focus trees in the background and I'm wearing a navy blue dress with a novelty print of drawings of little vintage style ladies. (More cartoon pin ups than elegant ladies, so of course I made up for that by being an elegant enough lady for myself and all the little people on my dress) 😜 ~ ~ ~ #Spoonie #ChronicIllness #InvisibleIllness #SickChick #MEcfs #MeAwareness #SpoonieBlog #hypermobility #ChronicPain #ChronicLoveClub #BeKindToYou #StuffThatHelps #CollectifClothing #VintageInspired
I have been planning a music video for a long time only... Not the one I have linked in my bio which I made yesterday! It was very spur of the moment and everything about it aside from the editing made me smile and want to sing it again and again. I hope by sharing it someone else might smile too 🌻 ~ Photo description: A picture taken from above of a table with a sunflower visible at the edge (out of frame there are quite a few in the vase) and a book and magazine also on the table. The book was a very thoughtful gift from @Daniella.Catherine.Louise who runs @spooniebookboxes and the magazine is "Pos'Ability" (which seemed appropriate since I didn't think me making and editing a video would be possible!) In which @lifeofpippa 's blog post became an article as they printed it! (It's the one about power chairs which features a lovely group of young people showing they're for any age, including meeee, thanks Pippa!) ~ ~ ~ #Spoonie #ChronicIllness #InvisibleIllness #SickChick #MEcfs #MeAwareness #SpoonieBlog #hypermobility #ChronicPain #ChronicLoveClub #Sunflower #PosAbility #TheHateUGive #SingerSongwriter
Another #SpoonieSunday ♡ Shop bought sandwich as I was alone for lunch. They may be seen as the height of convenience and possibly laziness but having this in the fridge was the difference between me getting a good meal or being tired, confused and living off of mini mythical animal shaped gluten free biscuits!!! It's the little things that make life manageable :) (they are good biscuits though) ~ Photo description: Photo of a brown bread sandwich on a plate which is sitting on my lap (but my lap is covered by a pale pink quilt! Is also a cup of tea on black table. ~ ~ ~ #Spoonie #ChronicIllness #InvisibleIllness #SickChick #MEcfs #MeAwareness #SpoonieBlog #hypermobility #ChronicPain #ChronicLoveClub #SelfCareSunday
A level exam results day. I wrote myself a letter for my GCSE results a couple of years ago. In it I reassured future Sakara that she had worked hard and if her results didn't reflect that it would be okay, Nisai ("virtual academy") were understanding and wouldn't stop her from joining an A level course if she didn't reach all the Cs she needed. I achieved a C, B and A in my GCSEs. I reread the letter. I couldn't find anything to comfort a Sakara who's good results DID reflect the work she put in. Why did I need comfort? Because sometimes -no matter your results- little letters are not enough to summarise those years of work you put in. It's a shame we have to use this kind of short hand to categorise people but remember (whether you got them today or not) whatever your results are or have been in the past, you are more than a few letters. Only you truly know what you put into your course. And if you had to leave education and don't have many letters to remember only you know why that decision was the right one for you or your health. Remember everything you've put in and the knowledge you got out. Not just the letters from a few stressful exam hours ♡ ~ Photo description: The corner of a painting with orange, white, blue, yellow and green splashes/ lines of splattered paint on a soft green background (I didn't paint it but it's unsigned so I can't tell you who did) P.S. I have been doing A levels but my results haven't come through yet and I learned a lot from how I felt about my GCSE results which is why I'm talking about those!!!! ~ ~ ~ #Spoonie #ChronicIllness #InvisibleIllness #SickChick #MEcfs #MeAwareness #SpoonieBlog #hypermobility #ChronicPain #ChronicLoveClub #ExamResults
Babe With A Mobility Aid is one of my favourite hashtags. It's somewhere to go when I notice how teenagers look eachother over in passing on streets or shops and then see how their gaze doesn't even register me, aside from the odd glance at my feet or a quick attempt NOT to look. I'm not a teenager to them. I'm a wheelchair user. At least, that's how it feels sometimes. In truth, I am a teenager/babe/Sakara who uses a wheelchair. One should never invalidate the other. I can't avoid using my wheelchair for the sake of fitting in but I don't stop being me when I do use it. I'm so glad I have found some people (both physical-world healthy friends and online #babeswithmobilityaids ) who understand this ♡ ~ Photo description: Close up photo, I'm sitting in my wheelchair facing slightly to the side and looking down a little with half dead (thanks, heat wave) grass in the background, a path and some trees. There is some white writing that says "Babe With A Mobility Aid" in capital letters with a thin white line around the outside of the text. Wearing my 1990s cable knit cream jumper, striped skirt (must post a photograph to show this fully as only a little of the black, white and orange is visible), one ring on the index finger of each hand and brown sunglasses- borrowed from my mum! My hair is down and some of it is floating about my head a little so where the sun catches it from behind it looks slightly like a halo. Oh who am I kidding with my "slightly"? We all know I'm an Angel!... Right? ~ ~ ~ #Spoonie #ChronicIllness #InvisibleIllness #SickChick #MEcfs #MeAwareness #SpoonieBlog #Modelling #DisabledModel #hypermobility #ChronicPain #ChronicLoveClub #CollectifClothing #BabeWithAMobilityAid #DisabledAndCute #GreenSpaces #HeatWave #StuffThatHelps #RetroStyle #TheVintageFashion #OOTD
Lovely accessible lake strolls ♡ Every time I saw steps I groaned inwardly (while my wheelchair clunked audibly) but then my spirits lifted a little (as much as fatigued, hot and worn down spirits can) when I saw the ramp alongside or flat path a little further along. Most refreshing, unlike the muggy heat! Thank goodness for my long standing desk (AKA bedside) fan. ~ Photo description: A large building of apartments is in focus with a lake in front of it and foliage and tall fading purple flowers are closer to the lense. It is sunny and the sky is mostly blue. There are small white blobs on the water which are a variety or two of sea gulls. Yes, sea gulls. No, I am not by the sea. They just follow me wherever I roam (insert 'dreamy floaty hand gesture to represent a faithful bird flying after me' here) ~ ~ ~ #Spoonie #ChronicIllness #InvisibleIllness #SickChick #MEcfs #MeAwareness #SpoonieBlog #hypermobility #ChronicPain #ChronicLoveClub #CityScape #GreenSpaces #Lake #River
Woke up ridiculously early today and acknowledged the fact that I needed a day of calm! Then saw the @spoonieutopia #SpoonieSunday self care tag and thought this was a perfect moment to post! I'm on the older end of "Teen" but find this magazine really comforting. I haven't seen the adult version in person but I think the articles tend to be longer and the activity pages less frequent so I'm happy to make the most of my last couple of years fitting into the "teen" category by indulging in this one. All in all I've been trying to have a day of a little less phone, a lot less over thinking and some more relaxation! Definitley a skill I need to work on (honestly at this point I am officially classing resting as a skill!) ♡ I hope that your Sunday hasn't been too hectic both in health and/or external activity terms. ~ Photo description: Photo of part of my laptop, two notebooks and my legs (wearing legging /stretch material flared trousers with a pasley pattern on) on a bed with a white quilt, I have a Teen Breath magazine and piece of paper on my lap (writing on the paper is intentionally blurred!) I'm not wearing socks so you can see all my happy little toes. Not sure why they look happy but you'll just have to take my word for it! ~ ~ ~ #Spoonie #ChronicIllness #InvisibleIllness #SickChick #MEcfs #MeAwareness #SpoonieBlog #hypermobility #ChronicPain #ChronicLoveClub #Breathe #flares #QuietMoments #StuffThatHelps
Photo from the part of my birthday where I wasn't in bed :) What's your favourite place? Favourite drink? Favourite outfit? Least favourite outfit? Something mediocrely mediocre because why am I only asking for the extremes!? Life is a bucket of grey areas but on here we only seem to see the best and the worst, the light and the dark, sunshine and... Gloomy cloudy rainy things? I quite like rain though so that seems unfair. Never mind. My point is tell me something in the comments from an absolute best to a worst or what you've just been doing which sounds boring but was actually alright. Let's talk about abnormally normal stuff and trick everyone into thinking social media can be an actual realistic representation of life! (I feel as though I should've made my instructions a bit more concise but that wouldn't be true to real life Sakara so let's all act like I rambled for the sake of authenticity.) Leave me a comment about something or other and I'll answer with something vaguely relevant, basically. ~ Photo description: It's a bottle of pink lemonade which I'm holding (it's a nice glass bottle) on some white tissue paper which is in turn on my skirt (which is actually a dress that I'm wearing but oh well) it (the dress, not the bottle) has a vintage style American looking cartoon pastel car print. Beyond that is SAND. Beyond that is the sea but that's not in the photo sadly (see photo description is giving you an added bonus over the actual photo) on the theme of stuff that's not in the photo it was very sunny with occasional cloud. The wind was chilly at times but nice over all. Sakara's Offical Image Description Plus bundle: comes with backdated weather forcast. (A BEfore-Cast?) ~ ~ ~ #Spoonie #ChronicIllness #InvisibleIllness #SickChick #MEcfs #MeAwareness #SpoonieBlog #hypermobility #ChronicPain #ChronicLoveClub #Sea #Sand #PointlessHashtags #TooTiredToHashtag #AhWellThereGoesLogic #Byeee #18thBirthday #1950sStyle #SpoonieSupport
☆Thank you for encouraging me to sing, dance and pull silly faces (even if I'm squishing my face into a blanket, crying and/or declaring that all of life is a disaster and I hate everything) thank you for having an abundance of special sparkly pixie empathy and for reminding me that I'm still me (whoever that is) when I'm not up to doing the things "everyone" else is doing or that I feel I "should" do.☆ (Seemed about time I introduced you nice Instagram people to my nice friend person who has been vaguely referenced in many a "Supportive friends are important" or "Examples of what you can do to help a friend who is chronically ill" post.) ~ Photo description: Two photos taken with my friend Caitríona / @cwuigl , close up selfies with a white background. We're smiling (in a bit of a fun slightly silly way) at eachother in the first photo then smiling normally at the camera in the second photo (Caitríona has a most adorable pixie-like hair cut) ~ ~ ~ #Spoonie #ChronicIllness #InvisibleIllness #SickChick #MEcfs #MeAwareness #SpoonieBlog #hypermobility #ChronicPain #ChronicLoveClub #DisabledAndCute #SpoonieSupport #Friendship
Was going to post this yesterday before we left but now will have to do ♡ This was the loveliest evening and I had some fun teaching my mum how to adjust things on my phone to take photos with it since her camera was refusing to play fair... (Although I messed with the light afterwards so I wouldn't end up with a giant dark patch on my page!) ~ Photo description: I'm wearing a giant fluffy coat (which was an early birthday present found at @worththeweightvintage that I refuse to wait until winter to wear!), I'm also wearing my pink converse and you can see a little of a yellow scarf (thank youuu @_teajunkie ). I'm sitting on a pink towel on the sand (which is actually tiny smooth shingle) and the peachy orange sunset glow has just about survived my editing of the photograph! ~ ~ ~ #Spoonie #ChronicIllness #InvisibleIllness #SickChick #MEcfs #MeAwareness #SpoonieBlog #hypermobility #ChronicPain #ChronicLoveClub #VintageVibes #Retro #FauxFur #SunsetLight #BeachSunset #SummerTime
Another favourite place in the making? ~ Photo description: A view of trees, fields and a large house in the distance framed up close by a tree with a path running along the bottom of the photo (which was paved! A dream for my scooter and aches!) edged by a black metal fence which I thought finished it off nicely. The sky looks mostly white but in person there have been many patches of blue throughout the day. ~ ~ ~ #Spoonie #ChronicIllness #InvisibleIllness #SickChick #MEcfs #MeAwareness #SpoonieBlog #hypermobility #ChronicPain #ChronicLoveClub #Nature #NationalTrust #AccessibleCountryside
"Seventeen is a pretty mean age, when things don't go right, So this year finally it's clear; I don't need to fight... Not going to be so hard, so hard on myself this time." Eighteen ♡ I don't mention my age a lot on here as it seems mostly irrelevant but thought this was one worth bringing up ;) So many things I am missing or wish I could do, but there is also a lot I do have which I'd never want to be without, including my friends (new and old!) and the tiny frog pot you can see in the background of this photo. Never underestimate the importance of trinkets (and kind people, so many more kind people around than I generally imagine). 🎶Happy birthday to me🎵 ~ Photo description: Couple of small presents (one wrapped, one unwrapped) ~ ~ ~ #Spoonie #ChronicIllness #InvisibleIllness #SickChick #MEcfs #MeAwareness #SpoonieBlog #hypermobility #ChronicPain #ChronicLoveClub #AdultMeNever #LayingButSlaying (
"I just try to be free as a bird, some nights I soar above the earth, I wanna be this girl let her wings unfurl, let my wings unfurl..." believe it or not that song wasn't written in honour of outfits involving two petticoats. I love special outfits. To some they are "a waste" of energy but for me they give a lot back, making a mostly low energy or simple day into an event as special as colour coordinated netting itself. ~ A Particularly Long Photo Description: I'm on the edge of a cliff (in a far less dangerous way than I make it sound) you can see the sea and setting sunlight behind me. Honestly a photo couldn't really capture it. Now for the outfit! I'm wearing a very full skirted "@collectifclothing " dress with little novelty print vintage (and American looking) cars and some little ladies on it. The cars are each pink, purple or blue and the background is cream, as are my cat eye sunglasses (the sun was so bright even though it was setting!) from @donnaflowervintage. I also have a pink cropped cardigan a thick purple belt and a pink cap on. Oh and pink converse all stars, of course! Almost forgot to say I'm twirling around and you can see a blue petticoat and a little of a white one peaking out underneath (when @jessicaoutofthecloset says she wears two or three at once I always thought it would be impractical but this dress actually sits much more nicely on two petticoats than one!) ~ ~ ~ #Spoonie #ChronicIllness #InvisibleIllness #SickChick #MEcfs #MeAwareness #SpoonieBlog #hypermobility #ChronicPain #ChronicLoveClub #CollectifClothing #1950sStyle #Petticoats #RetroStyle #SunsetLight #PastelAesthetic #Twirling #PetticoatTwirling
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