Thank you for the cover feature on FB @theumbrellasyndicate
🙏🏼😍 looking forward to your book “Keep Smiling, Shift Happens” 🙌🏼
Remember how posh smokers looked back in the day...a la Kate Moss? It wasn’t the beauty, it was that care-free “I don’t give a fuck” attitude. That was the draw. I couldn’t handle the unbearable weight and lack of direction on how to heal trauma from child sexual abuse, bullying, and rape. I felt alone in the world, misunderstood, without support. I think I was 12 when I first wanted to die. I figured my only option was to numb it out. I thought if I could just bury the feelings deep down, I would be strong. I wouldn’t give a fuck. But that’s a lie. You have to feel it to heal it.
It has taken 3 years of daily yoga, 2 years of a plant-based diet,1year of energy healing to get to this point. I’ve worked hard to expand my awareness, and have come farther than I could’ve imagined before. But the mind has its limits. The head will get you to where the heart wants to go. The mind is a useful servant but it stops short of what is required to dive deeper into Self. The point of surrender to the heart and Soul.
And a numbing agent can be a subtler addiction, but it still presents a challenge. From a spiritual perspective, it blocks growth, prevents us from seeing ourselves, veils our truth. It’s codependency, temporarily alleviating ego agitation with a quick euphoric high. We still bury the dissatisfaction refusing to address the root problem. At some point, the accumulated stress, or the disharmony with Self, creates dis-ease in the Soul.
I acknowledge the fear. But my heart and Soul have had enough. They urge me to venerate my true Self.
Farewell letter, an excerpt:
We have had a go of it. 22 years of intense attachment. I leaned on you, trusted you, devoured you, worshipped you. You provided relief, sanctuary from myself. You protected me from feeling the deep hurts and traumas. I loved you for saving me from my own worst enemy, but I’ve changed. I yearn to know the deepest parts of me, to clear this block. I’m stronger without you. I can breathe without you. I create sacred space to feel all of me. Without you, I am a formidable presence, liberated. I release you to welcome the highest love of all, intimate relationship with my Divine self.
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October 20, 2018
Love taking time to reflect on the past year of growth each Birthday. And this year, as I’ve really seen the power of intention unfold in my life, to set intentions for the year moving forward. Today I feel truly grateful for the deep and difficult challenges I’ve faced over the past year, all are blessings. A deeper sense of gratitude for every heartbreak and loss I’ve ever experienced. I realize that regardless of the intention of the person, those who have hurt me the most have, in some ways, loved me the best, because they showed me shadow aspects of myself that would otherwise be difficult to see. Giving me opportunity to go deeper within, to expand my perspective, grace, forgiveness, and desire to liberate myself further into love. A new level of forgiveness and release in feeling a truer love for every experience, seeing it all as neutral, knowing that my lens of perspective paints the picture. Gratitude for a growing awareness of Self, a beautiful unfolding or “unbecoming” into my natural self. Learning how to trust my heart and honor myself above all, that my cup may overflow with the constant river of divine love. Seeking the lesson in every experience, finding myself growing and stretching in expansive love —for myself, for the journey, for my teachers, for sangha, for a deepening faith, and surrender to the mystery of each moment. Excavating false beliefs, illusions, everything that is not of love. Learning to operate from the center of myself, to honor my heart’s knowing. This is 36, unbecoming into my true Self, the sweet liberation of all that no longer serves my heart’s desires, divine alignment, purpose and Union within. 🕉💓 #selflove #honorthyself #knowthyself #authenticself #divinebeing #divinefeminine #divinealignment #thisis36 #aginggracefully
Feelings are valid and valuable teachers. In the journey to honoring self, they are begging to be acknowledged, to show how our triggers are pointing to our own misalignment with our truth. It’s a gift to feel angry, sad, depressed, embittered, rejected, deceived, and so on. Because it forces us to be more vulnerable with our own hearts and recognize how to better align with our truth. We recognize that others who have hurt us operated from their own levels of consciousness, discomfort, and fear ...same as us. And that staying in our heavier emotions keeps us enslaved, giving our power to those who have hurt us. As we honor ourselves more, we recognize that we long for freedom and no longer desire to be enslaved to the heaviness. We release it and become lighter. We immediately respond more from a place of love than from fear. We recognize what feels good to our hearts and operate from this place. It is easier to forgive ourselves and others and set ourselves free, because that is ultimately the energy we choose to be in. We stand comfortably in our love, compassion and freedom, and our own energy begins to repel those who do not vibrate with love. Or we become less phased by heavy energies because we are softened by the love in our hearts. We allow ourselves space to feel everything without judgment, to move through it gracefully, to have gratitude as the teachers show up, and move forward in greater strength and courage of conviction to be authentic, living from the center of our selves.
Photo by @laurenophoto
#selflove #selfawareness #selfintimacy #higherself #authenticself #heartcenter #womensempowerment #selfempowerment #freedom #love #liberation #awakening #ascension #awakeningisawareness #yoga #yogameansunion #unityconsciousness #union #divinealignment #divinepurpose #honorthyself #knowthyself #vulnerabilityissexy
Yoga is the discipline of learning it is safe to go deeper within.
I wrote this on another post and it struck a chord in someone who thought the message was vulnerable and courageous. I thought about it again and thought about how for so many years I was terrified to look within. I had a voice nagging me for over 15 years to retreat to the woods and write my story, to process it, to actually feel it and deal with it. As open and raw as my friends thought I was for sharing my story, I just could not FEEL my way through it. But I wasn’t FEELING anything when I was expressing my unfiltered story, I was regurgitating facts from a detached place. I was numb. I thought this was being vulnerable, but I was avoiding my true feelings. Building awareness is a necessary step, but the real courage is to be vulnerable from the center of our hearts. Not to be led by emotions, but to allow space to feel them, to release stuck energy, and flow through them. The release is so therapeutic and shifts blockages that prevent the heart from being open, in its natural resilience and beauty. Enabling us to relinquish expectations and desired outcomes from others, to know that others may not be in a place to accept or reciprocate vulnerability, and to stand comfortably in our own heart presence anyway. To continue to move forward in that sweet surrender to the power of faith and love that exists purely in our hearts. That is courage. When you are stubborn (ahem, like me) and actively walking the spiritual path, Spirit has a way of forcing us to feel our shadow, because sometimes there is no other way forward. We tend to focus so much on the light, neglecting our shadow aspects. But we embody both the yin and the yang. Of course, we are Divine and mirror Creation. I believe the path towards the light is in embracing the darkness, going through the depth of it. We can’t skate around or escape it. At some point, we surrender to it. Whether by choice or force, either way it’s OK. I find comfort in maintaining the perspective of gratitude for the dark nights, because I believe we fully experience the warmth of the light by contrast ☯️
Photo by @laurenophoto
Mala by @malaandmantra
How conscientious are you as a consumer? With the raising awareness of the collective about unity consciousness and the social responsibility each individual has on the whole, do you research companies to know how your resources are being spent?? I believe we, as smart consumers, as we raise our own awareness of our impact on our environment, have a powerful responsibility to use our resources wisely 🙏🏼🌿💚 The first thing that impressed me about FRE skincare is how conscientious they are with their company’s resources! They work in several areas of sustainable development that are meaningful to me —womens empowerment, deforestation, and producing cruelty free vegan products. They plant an Argan Tree in Morocco for EVERY SINGLE skincare set sold, which also empowers a group of women who harvest the trees to stay employed. That is a HUGE contribution 🙌🏼 Bonus! The products themselves are really quality! They have a luxurious feel and smell to them, I feel like I’m pampering myself with every use. Hello, Self-Love 💗I’ve been using them for 2 weeks, and have noticed that the micro beads in the face wash work almost like a light peel, not abrasive, but enough to bring new, fresh skin cells to the surface. My skin looks brighter, more radiant, with a deeper all over glow. The serum has the same effect, and the SPF daily moisturizer helps to minimize sweat to give a cleaner glow when working out, which I love, because I love to sweat with my students while teaching class!! 😊 FRE is the perfect skincare routine for glowing changemakers!! And those who want to turn that sweat into an even glow 🤩☀️ FRE Skincare 123 Set —25% off with the Code: PURECATYOGA25
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and show them some love 🌿💚 Photos by @laurenophoto
#loveyoursweat #freskincare #readysweatglow #selflove #conscientiouscompany #socialimpact #conscientiousconsumer #womensempowerment #environmentalprotection #deforestation #smartconsumer #crueltyfree #vegan #savetheplanet #bethechange #changemaker
“Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.” -Proverbs 4:23
This verse used to upset me whenever I heard it. Why would I guard my heart??! I want it to be wide open!!! My true heart is full of love -for God, for others, for life, for the desire to love and be loved. It was a paradox I couldn’t wrap my head around. And then, through numerous heartbreaks, as it goes, I discovered the wisdom in this verse. Because I discovered that the true value of each and every one of us lies in the heart. “(Her Heart) is more precious than rubies, and none of the things you desire can compare with her.”- Proverbs 3:15 💎
More precious than the rarest gems in all the world!!! As many times as we lick our wounds, we must find the courage to surrender to the power of love. It is safe to love and open our hearts. Love is the highest power, the ultimate conqueror, the wellspring of life. And the heart should be safeguarded above all other notions, nurtured into the purest love, which is always unconditional. This is the authentic Self path, to live from the heart center. Believe it, cherish it, safeguard it with your life, because it is your most valuable treasure and you shall be cherished because of it ❤️ #purelove #authenticself #higherself #heartcenter #heartchakra #courage #surrender #manifestlove #betrue #christconsciousness #higherconsciousness #allyouneedislove #loveisallyouneed
Photo by @laurenophoto
Dr. Lee @fierce_calm
Thank you so much for creating a powerful channel to share love, light, and healing. May it encourage, empower, and equip the masses to move toward greater Love. Thank you for sharing my story. I love this community. Bless you 🙏🏼 #yogasavedmylife
Photos by @laurenophoto
I never truly loved myself or felt good enough. It was a combination of child sexual abuse, rape, familial and societal conditioning that initiated these beliefs that I accepted, creating a deeply subconscious thought pattern that created my whole reality. It resulted in numerous failed career paths and relationships where I didn’t see my value, set loving or appropriate boundaries, and ended up feeling worse about myself each time. This was my frame of mind for the longest time. And it plunged me deeper into meaningless casual encounters with drugs, sex, and all the trappings of this 3D Matrix (physical - material world) that expand the void of meaninglessness.
It wasn’t until I found Yoga that I found a space of sanctum and sanity within the 4 corners of my mat. I learned how to breathe into my presence, to become self-aware, to move and release those burdensome emotional traumas and false beliefs, what I like to call the “issues in the tissues.” I learned how to listen to my heart and trust my inner knowing. I built an awareness around the deep well of subconscious thoughts that created my personality, thereby my “personal reality.” I learned that I adopted most of those thoughts from others and that I never really believed them in the first place. I learned that I have the power and the responsibility to find them, to disown, uproot and change them. I learned the power of intention to recreate myself. I learned that intention is the most powerful tool we have, and that setting intentions backed by our thoughts, feelings, energy, and faith have the power to create our reality. Because I learned this and began the discipline of living it daily, I ignited the process of transforming every aspect my Being, which has rippled into every aspect of my life. Yoga is the discipline of learning that it is safe to go deeper within. ⬇️ Continued in comments⬇️
🌿Mama Gaia🍂you are a force of Love. You are Creator. You receive, You nurture, You give without expectation. You are Serene & Majestic. You are Powerful. You are Balanced. You diffuse negative energy and transmute it into magnificence. You remain infinitely abundant. You are Unconditional Love. You exist simply, beautifully, magnetically, powerfully. You Are. Mold me into Your Brilliance.💚 A love letter to my grounding Source. I seek balance in nature, grounding out negative energies, old beliefs, patterns, paradigms which no longer serve me. Finding balance in the flow, staying grounded in I AM, breaking up the old to create space for the new, surrendering to the majestic forces and mysteries beyond my knowing.
Happy Fall Equinox 🍁🍂🌾🌻 #libraseason
☯️ #fallequinox #standingbalancesequence #natureyoga #gaia #grounded #rooted #divinealignment
I release myself from the heavy burden of expectation. The burden of expectations I place on others, on God, for specific desired outcomes are like shackles of my own imprisonment. In the same way I resist being controlled, I resist placing controls on anyone or anything. Placing expectations on others gives them the power to fulfill or disappoint. When I release myself from these burdens, I reclaim my power. I set myself free. I surrender the outcome. I surrender to the universe. The beautiful thing is, when I surrender whatever demands my limited mind can conjure up and put my full faith in God and universe, I know that I will be overwhelmingly surprised with more beauty, abundance, love, and fulfillment than I could have imagined in a controlled state. I unblock myself, I liberate myself, I remain open to receive, I surrender, I accept, I trust ✌🏼🙏🏼🕉 #surrender #yin #faith #trust #acceptance #divinebeing #loveisfreedom #liberation #satisfymysoul #soullessons #chakraclearing #divinealignment #awakening #ascension #emancipateyourselffrommentalslavery #nonebutourselvescanfreeourminds #opentoreceive
Photo by @laurenophoto