Depression at Christmas
This time last year I didn’t realise it but I was in deep depression. I didn’t want to celebrate it, had no desire to be around family or friends, didn’t want to work, I just wanted to hide! Why? My thoughts were mostly on 21st May 2018, this would be the 10 year anniversary of losing my mum. It was all I could think about, 10 years, 10 years of not seeing my mum, 10 years of built up frustration of not talking to her, to her not being in my life. I thought about it day and night.
I couldn’t sleep, but was exhausted. I hardly ate, didn’t train in the gym, I’d given up on myself and life, I wanted to end it I didn’t want to be alive any more. This is something I don’t like talking about, but the feeling of committing suicide is horrible. I had no idea how I’d do it or when but I wanted to end my life.
What saved me? Seeing social media posts of others who had taken their lives, Sky Sports focusing on mental health and increasing awareness of plus my girlfriend at the time identifying I was depressed and telling me to go the doctors. Something in me clicked and I wanted to get better. Without those three factors I wouldn’t be writing this today.
I’m not writing this for sympathy, I don’t want you to feel sorry for me, I’m writing this for those who feel how I felt, those who think they can’t cope anymore, the reality is no matter how difficult life can be you are strong enough to beat this!
So if you’re struggling or know someone who is struggling, DON’T GIVE UP!
#mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mind #worldmentalhealthday #fight #positivevibes #positivity #goodvibes #health #depression #anxiety #mentalillness #christmas #depressionatchristmas #suicideprevention #lonely #darkness #loneliness