From Tour With Love
St. Paul, MN
Isn't it sad when you get hurt so much, you can finally say "I'm used to it". That's quite an odd feeling right? Well I'm starting to slowly reach that point of my life where I'm so used to everything...
I'm used to people leaving. I'm used to being left out.
I'm used to being cancelled on. I'm used to being forgotten about.
I'm used to being ignored. I'm used to being the second choice.
I'm used to being the "backup" friend. I'm used to being the unheard voice.
I'm used to being all alone. I'm used to taken for granted.
I'm used to having no one. I'm used to be the unwanted.
I'm used to being heart-broken. I'm used to treated like nothing.
I'm used to not being loved.
I'm used to it. I'm used to... everything.
But just because I'm used to it, doesn't mean it doesn't hurt anymore.
It hurts a lot and at first I thought it was depression but now when I think about it, I'm not sure if I'm depressed. I mean, I'm not sad. But I'm not exactly happy either. I can laugh and joke and smile during the day, but sometimes when I'm alone at night I forget how to feel. I just lie there, in the darkness, motionless. Numb. Dead.
No, that's not right. I want to live again. I want to feel again. I want to be heard. I want to scream! I want to scream at the top of my lungs until my throat is raw. I want to tell you why my heart aches, and why my breath gets caught in my throat. I want to show you the scars on my soul, and I want to open my mind and let you inside. I want you to see what I see when I look in the mirror, when I look down... at me. I want you to look at the world through my eyes and then I want you to tell me that outside appearances don't matter. I want to write you a story, a poem, a sonnet, and a rhyme about how I tried to find hope, and love, and faith in the midst of an unbearable storm and failed miserably. But all I can do is tap away on these tiny keys and hope you can read the words I'm not writing...I want to scream but I have no voice. I want to cry but I have no tears. I want to love but I'm too scared. I want to live but I'm already dead. I want to feel but...
I want to scream but...
I want to... But... I'm used to it.
today I toured a jail and the tour guide was convinced I was 14.. #usedtoit
Breaking someone’s trust is like crumbling up a perfect piece of paper. You can smooth it over but it’s never going to be the same again...
Today we were up at the hospital to have a blood test for Savannah. This was to check her thyroid levels. The frequency of thyroid disease is elevated in patients with Down syndrome, starting in the newborn population where it is 0.7%, Twelve per cent or more of adults with Down syndrome have thyroid disease. Thyroid disease is difficult to diagnose clinically in individuals with Down syndrome because of an overlap of symptoms. This makes thyroid blood screening a particularly important part of the annual preventive medicine screening of each person with Down syndrome.
You can tell she is a NICU baby as she didn't flinch at all and took it like a champ ❤
#thyroid #bettertobesafethansorry #annualtest #downsyndrome #littletinker #littlechamp #nicustrong #usedtoit #nicugraduate #t21tribe
🔥VEGAS DAY 3 (part 1)🔥
First day of rugby! Mike played well with the Seattle Ronins. We got sunburnt in the 70 degree sunshine. Brooke and Haley enjoyed margaritas from home, and beer from the tents. Exciting day so far!
#vegassevens #7 #withyou #fiji #crispy #beardedmen #usedtoit
Its okk to not know
Apna bhi time aaega✌✌