18,004 posts

Also ich fand die leider nicht so lecker 🤨 Hey Leute ❤️ Heute melde ich mich mal schon in der Früh, weil ich heute einiges vorhabe 🥰 Ich werde heute mit meiner ganzen Familie zum Flughafen fahren und dann werden wir dort meinen Bruder abholen, der jetzt seit einem halben Jahr im Ausland war 😍 Allerdings gehen wir dort dann wahrscheinlich essen am Mittag und mittags fällt mir das sowieso schon schwer und noch dazu kennt mein Bruder mein gestörtes Essverhalten nicht so wirklich und deshalb habe ich Angst, was er sagen wird 😓 Dann muss ich heute auch noch Latein lernen, weil wir bald Schulaufgabe schreiben und Spanisch und Geschichte lernen, weil wir diese Fächer morgen haben 😩 Meine Bio Hausaufgabe will ich heute auch noch erledigen und dann halt noch ein paar kleinere Dinge 😅 Ich hoffe ihr habt heute alle einen schönen Tag und bis morgen oder später 😊🙈
So, yesterday I had my assessment with the ED therapist at the Priory. I was absolutely terrified to go there because I was assuming it would be cold, hard and clinical, however in the end I realised I was worrying for nothing. I have my first appointment with specific ED therapy in a couple weeks. ------------------------------------------ I’m not going to bullshit and say it’s been an easy week. Right now, the ED is very strong, in terms of the skewed thought processes. However I think I only realise it’s irrational because I’ve been talking about it openly with my family, which is a big positive step. I also chatted yesterday with the therapist about it, and came to the conclusion that I’m ill, and that this illness is the reason I’m thinking the way I think at the moment. Regardless of physical shape or weight, I’m ill, mentally. ------------------------------------------ But this is the step I need. This is going to kick start the mental cogs turning again. I refuse to let this ED take away everything again. It’s not only affecting me, but my family, work life and social abilities too and at the end of the day I have a lot more to live for than the routines and behaviours this illness enforces on me. ------------------------------------------ Bare with me with posts at the moment my loves. Taking photos of my meals etc is difficult because of many reasons, the main one being I don’t want to give an impression I’m doing amazing and I don’t want to portray the wrong message out there. I want to be honest and open but not trigger anybody. This is a stepping stone to better things. I believe that. ------------------------------------------ I hope you’re all doing okay angels. Big love and thank you to all those sticking with me in the rough times. You guys are the real MPV’s💕 xxx #bethebiggerbully
Wer liebt Popcorn genauso sehr wie ich 😍 Hey Leute ❤️🙈 Heute war schon wieder so ein schöner und erfolgreicher Tag 😍 Ich bin heute mit meinem Bruder und meiner besten Freundin bowlen gegangen und davor war ich mit meinem Hund spazieren und hab endlich mal wieder was gelesen 🥰🎉 Ich hab heute sogar was zu Mittag gegessen und vor allem am Wochenende fällt es mir extremst schwer nicht nur am Abend was zu essen ❤️☺️ Mein nächstes Ziel ist es, dass ich mein Abendessen um die Uhrzeit essen darf um die ich will und nicht erst nach 20 Uhr 😶 Ich hoffe ihr hattet auch einen wunderschönen Tag und bis morgen❤️🎊
#Tea was a burger 😋⁣ ⁣ This weekend has been great, I’ve not even thought of eating out of control once 😊 I’ve listened to myself and eaten what I wanted. Tbh I’ll be wayyy over on calories today, but so what 🤷🏻‍♀️ it’s a holiday and one weekend isn’t indicative of what your usual diet is like, and I know come Monday I’ll be back to my regular eating. Having a healthy relationship with food means you can over indulge when you’re away or on special occasions and not feel guilty, and that one weekend won’t change your weight. It’s been difficult in parts because I do really struggle with body image an awful lot but I’m trying my hardest to let it pass me by 😊 ⁣ ⁣ People all come in different shapes and sizes, and what’s right for me may well be heavier than others. If that’s how I’m made then that’s fine. If I’m a natural size 8/10 and not a 6 that’s fine! We’re all different, and comparison is the thief of joy at the end of it all ⁣ ⁣ #anorexiarecovery #anarecovery #edrecovery #anafighter #fuckana #edwarrior #edfight #naourishnotpunish #foodisfuel #eatittobeatit #recovery #calories #strongerthanana #realrecovery #nomorerestriction #anorexia #beatingana #smallstepscount #strongnotskinny #edfamily #ed #anawho #fearfoods #mentalheath #eatingdisorders #foodismedicine #mentalhealthawareness
Snack was actually three homemade Smore‘s with some milk but I only have this crappy photo. This was both a challenge and a first. I’ve never done this before so I am kind of proud. I don’t even like marshmallows that much but this was good :3 #strongerthanmyeatingdisorder #strongerthanana #strongerthananarmy #strongerthanmymind #anorexiarecovery #anorexiafighter #anorexianerviosa #recovery #anorexicgirl #anorexiamemes #anorexic #anorexiaawareness #eatingdisorderrecovery #eattolive #anarecovery #edfam #edrecovery #recoveryisworthit #foodismedicine #edfighter #eatittobeatit #fuckanorexia
Kann euch die Sorte wirklich mega empfehlen, die schmeckt wirklich sehr gut 😍 Hey Leute❤️ Ich hoffe ihr hattet heute alle einen schönen Tag😍Meiner war eigentlich wirklich sehr toll, weil ich mich mit meiner besten Freundin getroffen habe und einen Schritt weiter in meiner Recovery gekommen bin 🎊 TW: Ich bin nämlich heute von der Schule gekommen und hab erstmal was gegessen! Das ist schon mal ein großer Fortschritt weil ich am Freitag normalerweise meine erste Mahlzeit erst am Abend zu mir nehme😓 Aber dann hab ich mich immernoch so energielos gefühlt und irgendwann hab ich es dann gedchafft Obst zu essen 🥰 Und Obst ist einfach so ein krasses #fearfood für mich, aber ich habe gemerkt, dass mein Körper diese Nährstoffe einfach braucht 😊🙈 Deshalb habe ich beschlossen mindestens jeden 2. Tag etwas Obst zu essen 🥰 Ich hoffe ihr hattet auch so einen erfolgreichen Tag und bis morgen 🎉🙈
#Snack was a gingerbread man but I ate his head before taking a photo 😳 Something weird has happened today, it feels like I don’t have anorexia...? I’ve eaten a huge breakfast, had sweets for lunch, gingerbread, fudge and all that. What’s made it weird is that it’s not a binge at all, I’ve made conscious decisions and been totally in control. I’ve got no guilt and I feel fine. I know I’m only eating like this because it’s a holiday and not usual eating but that’s fine too! Don’t get me wrong I’m hating my body still as I have put on that weight but the thoughts are different(ish). I realised that I now have the body and mindset of someone who could become pregnant and carry a baby. When those horrible thoughts come in my head that’s what I’m thinking and I feel so much better for it Fingers crossed that this lasts 🤞🏻 #anorexiarecovery #anarecovery #edrecovery #anafighter #fuckana #edwarrior #edfight #naourishnotpunish #foodisfuel #eatittobeatit #recovery #calories #strongerthanana #realrecovery #nomorerestriction #anorexia #beatingana #smallstepscount #strongnotskinny #edfamily #ed #anawho #fearfoods #mentalheath #eatingdisorders #foodismedicine #mentalhealthawareness
"Be who you truly are." For many people this sounds very easy. So often someone told me "oh well, just be yourself" But it's not that easy. It's not easy to be yourself, if you are your own enemy. It's not easy to be yourself if you hate your body. It's not easy to be yourself if you hate personality. But, even if it sounds very hard for you: You must accept your body. You must accept yourself. You'll NEVER be happy if you think 24/7 bad about you. Don't change for other people! Don't pretend to be someone different! You're perfect just the way you are. Don't listen to people if they're talking bad things about you. They're wanting you to feel bad, but i promise you, you're so much stronger! Letting go of the ideal body. Because the ideal body doesn't exist. Everybody is different. There is no right or wrong. Be proud of who you are. You're not a failure. You're not ugly. You're not stupid. You're not worthless. You're good enough! We're all different, isn't that wonderful? We're all beautiful, no matter how some people are thinking about that.❤ #anorexia #anorexiarecovery #orthorexiarecovery #orthorexia #prorecovery #edwarrior #edfighter #edfamily #ed #edsucks #recoveryiswothit #recoveryispossible #strongerthanana #strongnotskinny #anafighter #anawho #eatittobeatit #eatingdisorderrecovery #fuckanorexia #fuckcalories #fuckana
*pic of my snack yesterday because I didn’t get a photo today of anything - it’s protein choc yogurt with choc sauce, sprinkles and peanut butter and fruit - YUMMAY* ------------------------------------------ Today was my fourth day officially in the M&S work experience programme. ------------------------------------------ I woke up this morning and didn’t use behaviours. Spent the whole day panicking because I knew I wasn’t going to be able to exercise at all as this evening I was seeing a movie with my boyfriend. I haven’t exercised ‘properly’ in days now. Feels weird to not be physically exhausting myself. Worked solidly and felt focused though, despite the internal battle with my demons. ------------------------------------------ I could have chosen to back out of the work experience today. I could have chosen to cancel on my boyfriend. I could have chosen to restrict on lunch like my ED was telling me to. ------------------------------------------ But did I? No. I forced lunch down, I forced my way mentally kicking and screaming early onto the train to work. I went to the movie and chilled out later on at the cinema bar, and not only that but I got a bag of (vegan obvs) fizzy sweets and chocolate and a medium cappuccino from costa to drink in the cinema. Because life is too fucking short honestly. I’m realising I have SO MUCH MORE going for me that a constant competition to destroy myself, watch a number drop on the damn scale with no real ambition or drive for anything else. ------------------------------------------ I have so much more than what this eating disorder, in my worst points, reduces me to. ------------------------------------------ I have a life now. And I sure as HELL won’t let it slip between my fingers. I’m doing good. I will succeed in this tug of war. I can. And you can too. ------------------------------------------ Goodnight 🙏🏼 xxx #bethebiggerbulluy
#Tea is a prepped in advance bean stew and broccoli 🥦 😋⁣ ⁣ Off on our holiday today! 😊 brought my bagful of snacks and food so I’m prepared and ready to go. This is what travelling with an anorexic is 😂⁣ ⁣ #anorexiarecovery #anarecovery #edrecovery #anafighter #fuckana #edwarrior #edfight #naourishnotpunish #foodisfuel #eatittobeatit #recovery #calories #strongerthanana #realrecovery #nomorerestriction #anorexia #beatingana #smallstepscount #strongnotskinny #edfamily #ed #anawho #fearfoods #mentalheath #eatingdisorders #foodismedicine #mentalhealthawareness
Crumpets are my valentine tbh❤️ 🍓🍓
Hey Leute ❤️ Heute ist ja Valentinstag und alle die genauso Single sind wie ich schreiben, das mal bitte in die Kommentare 😂 Heute hab ich mir aber trotzdem einen wunderschönen und produktiven Tag gemacht 😌 Ich bin heute so um halb 2 von der Schule nach Hause gekommen und war dann erstmal mit meinem Hund spazieren 🥰 Dann hab ich Hausaufgaben gemacht und jetzt gerade noch mit meiner besten Freundin so eine Stunde telefoniert, weil sie ist heute mein Valentin ☺️ Jetzt werde ich noch für morgen lernen, einkaufen fahren und mir dann nur noch was kochen und damit diesen wunderschönen Tag ausklingen lassen 🎉😌 Ich wünsche euch allen einen frohen Valentinstag und bis morgen ❤️❤️
Gestern gab es für mich dieses leckere Rezept von der lieben @my.hopeful.recovery 🥰 Schmeckt wirklich mega lecker und war auch wirklich eine Challenge ☺️ Hey Leute ❤️ Mir geht es leider so, dass ich durch die Essstörung, oft versuche den sozialen Kontakt zu meiden 😥 Aber ich bin auf dem besten Weg das zu ändern 😌 Es hat sich auch schon viel geändert, denn in der Mittagspause sitze ich nicht mehr nur mit einer Person oder sogar alleine rum, sondern ich gehe mittlerweile mit einer ganzen Gruppe rum ☺️🙈 Und dadurch, dass nur eine Person von meiner Essstörung weiß, gehen sie mit mir auch nicht vorsichtiger um, sondern behandeln mich wie jede andere Person auch 😇 Zur Zeit fahre ich auch oft mit den öffentlichen Verkehrsmitteln nach Hause, damit ich mich nach und nach wieder mehr einlebe 🎉💛 Ich hoffe ihr habt einen schönen Tag und bis morgen ❤️☺️
I ate @ Chili's tonight & i had a Caesar 🥗 and tried out their Cajun Pasta. I faced my fears actually ordered what I wanted!!!! #winning 🏆 #recoverywin #dinner_time #anorexic #anorexia #anorexicthoughts #chilisbarandgrill #chilis 🌶 #strongerthanana
*reality post* ------------------------------------------ Through the work experience I’m having to go against all my routines and behaviours and exercise and the ED voice has increased tenfold because there’s no wriggle room for it to get in and make me subconsciously do things to reduce guilt. ------------------------------------------ Today I came home, and I just broke down. My head was destroying me. I was exhausted of the fighting because suddenly I saw just how much the routine the ED enforces on me is drugging me from its full emotional impact. ------------------------------------------ The emotional toil an ED brings on both the individual and the loved ones around is in my opinion, the most devastating part of the mental illness. Physical implications long term devastate but often the emotional distress for everybody involved is overlooked by society and it’s so wrong because it’s the fucking worst part of it all. ------------------------------------------ Hearing me shout the same things I used to to my mum and hearing her shout the same things to me - ‘Jessie please don’t let this happen again’ ‘you know how much it destroyed you’ ‘I can’t bare the thought of both you and me losing ourselves once more to this’... my god, I wish I could stop this all. ------------------------------------------ However - and this ends on a positive note - instead of going to the gym, exercising etc. I had this breakdown and In fact it has been cathartic. And very very necessary. After all, behaviours are simply trying to avoid facing the deep rooted emotions within. I feel motivated once more. I’m going to treat my body well tonight, and the next and the next. ------------------------------------------ Fuck my routines. Fuck the strange rules my disorder enforces on me. No, fuck that. I’m breaking free with every teary guilty moment I replace a behaviour with. Change wasn’t going to be easy. But this work opportunity is what is going to be the drive to seeing a different life once more. And I can do this ❤️ xxx #bethebiggerbully
#Tea is a homemade biryani ☺️ complete with R’s feet 🤣 So excited for this weekend it’s unreal 😩 getting away with my family will be just what I need 😊 it’s not something we get to do very often, getting us all together is a nightmare #anorexiarecovery #anarecovery #edrecovery #anafighter #fuckana #edwarrior #edfight #naourishnotpunish #foodisfuel #eatittobeatit #recovery #calories #strongerthanana #realrecovery #nomorerestriction #anorexia #beatingana #smallstepscount #strongnotskinny #edfamily #ed #anawho #fearfoods #mentalheath #eatingdisorders #foodismedicine #mentalhealthawareness
Wer kauft auch immer alles im Angebot, weil er für den Rest einfach zu geizig ist 🙈😂 Hey Leute ❤️ Heute war mal wieder ein eher chilliger Tag angesagt ☺️ Als ich um 3 von der Schule nach Hause gekommen bin, hab ich Hausaufgaben gemacht, meiner Freundin ein Geburtstagsvideo geschnitten und bin grad noch schnell zu Edeka gelaufen, weil ich ein Rezept ausprobieren will 😍 Dieses Rezept ist dann auch wieder eine Challenge für mich und natürlich werde ich es in den nächsten paar Tagen mit euch teilen🥰 Bis morgen meine lieben 🎉
#recoveryishard Recovery ist schwer, und es ist ein harter Weg mit Höhen und Tiefen. Manchmal geht es bergauf und manchmal geht es wieder bergab. Doch das wichtigste ist trotzdem weiterzukämpfen auch wenn es bergab geht. Es wird die Zeit kommen da geht es wieder bergauf. Bei mir geht es vorallem mit der Anorexie die letzten Tage wieder bergab und ich rutsche noch tiefer in die ES obwohl ich das eigentlich nicht will. Aber ich habe damit gerechnet da ich momentan schwer mit meinem Gewicht und meinem Bodyimage zu kämpfen habe. Ich esse wieder weniger als die letzte Zeit, zähle die Kalorien genaustens und verbrenne soviele kalorien wie möglich. Ich weiß natürlich dass es mich nicht weiterbringt und ich so die ES gewinnen lasse, doch ich schaffe es nicht anders. Doch das heißt nicht dass ich aufgebe und die ES gewinnen lasse. Ich kämpfe trotzdem weiter auch wenn es gerade noch härter ist als sonst. #anorexicgirl #anorexiarecovery #anorexianervosa #anorexiafighter #anorexiafight #againstana #fuckyouana #fightagainstana #anaisntyourfriend #neverforgettofight #edrecovery #eatdisorder #foodrecovery #recoveryispossible #recoveryishard #recoveryisworthit #staystrong #fighter #fightforlife #fightforit #fightforfood #dontgiveup #ihavetoeat #foodisntbad #mentalillness #recoveryway #hope #nevergiveup #strongerthanana
The past weekend has been a heap full of challenges. The next 4 weeks will quite possibly push me far far out of every comfort zone I’ve had. ------------------------------------------ This past weekend I’ve spent being as free with food and drink as I can be, choosing to have the extra sugary cocktail and gin and tonics and slump onto the sofa eating tortilla chips. This past weekend I’ve chosen true human connection and friendship (and more than friendship lol 👫) over this weird false structure my comfort zone enforces on me. ------------------------------------------ The next 4 weeks I will be pushed beyond my limits. I’m starting work experience with a big group of us at M&S, and I’d be lying if I said this was going to be a breeze. It involves a) no exercise b) no real control over food and c) pushing my social boundaries intensely in order to overcome the barriers I’ve enforced on myself. The scariest part here really is the breaching of my routines, and knowing that this will impact my eating disorder, however I know this holds the key to my recovery. ------------------------------------------ Am I going to let 4 weeks of potential life lessons and knowledge and work opportunities go down the drain, all to my own self-absorbed addiction that is my personal ED? Fuck no I won’t. ------------------------------------------ Regarding the ED services, apparently I’ve heard some news about options but I’m tentative because I’m going to make a final decision to whether the help would benefit me or drag me further back and hinder my progress. More on that soon. ------------------------------------------ For now, nerves are high but so are my spirits. Sorry for sporadic posts, however I appreciate every one of you who continue to stick by me on my journey. You are the real MPV’s. Goodnight 💕 xxx #bethebiggerbully
Einfach nur Kindheitserinnerung 😍 Hey Leute ❤️ TW: Gestern abend hatte ich wirklich einen totalen Zusammenbruch 😩 Ich hab mal wieder den ganzen Tag nichts gegessen und erst am Abend meine erste Mahlzeit 😶 Mein Papa und meine Mama haben das dann gemerkt und dann ist mein Papa am Abend zu mir ins Zimmer gekommen und wollte mit mir darüber reden 😥 Er meinte dann ich müsste kein Schönheitsideal verfolgen und so aber das ist ja gar nicht der Grund für alles... Außerdem bin ich seit gestern zu meinen Eltern sehr aggressiv und abweisend, weil mein Papa gestern einfach Dinge gesagt hat, die einfach nicht okay sind...😓 Er meinte ich hätte noch nichts erreicht und es wird immer schlimmer, aber das stimmt doch nicht, weil ich könnte immernoch starkes Untergewicht haben und nicht genügend Kalorien am Tag essen 🤨 Ich hoffe ihr hattet einen besseren Tag und bis morgen ❤️🙈
Good evening❤ What i ate today: breakfast today was alpro oat yogurt with puffed amaranth, a tangerine and some apple. For lunch i had a vegetable soup. My dinner was a little bit weird today😅 A whole package of this protein cheese (my new addiction btw😂), some tomatoes, baby carrots, marinated olives, two summer rolls and a vanilla protein curd. My night snack today is going to be a cherry rice pudding, a few blueberries, a 'yogurette'chocolate bar, a MilkyWay and a 'duplo' chocolate bar. Today my mood was not good.. My anorexia was very loud and my depression was awful at school.. When i was home my grandma talked about calories (sometimes she forgot my eating disorder) and i was really triggered.. I've cried for more than an hour in my bed.. But even i'm feeling awful at the moment i'm going to have my night snack because i know i'm stronger than ana.💪🏼 Keep fighting guys, you can do it👋🏻 #anorexia #anorexiarecovery #orthorexia #prorecovery #ed #edfighter #edwarrior #edfamily #strongnotskinny #strongerthanana #anawho #fuckanorexia #fuckcalories #fuckana #eatittobeatit #eatingdisorderrecovery
Hello guys! - My mum has taken my phone away from me and now I’m just secretly writing this lol... btw I can’t post anymore or answer dm’s because from now I’ll be probably just use my tablet, and I don’t know how to answer on dm’s with tablets if you can do that! Aaand I don’t know when my mum will let me use my phone again as she hid it but I guess I found it so I’m writing you this😅 - TWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTW Here’s an update. I have been relapsing quite bad. This week, I’ll be set inpatient. I don’t feel like I’m sick enough. I told my mum and she told BUGL (aka CAMHS in Iceland) about it. And now I’m here. I don’t know if I’m mentally ready to be set inpatient as I find myself not sick enough to deserve to be there. These thoughts have been in my head since I’ve made this account. Always comparing myself to another. This is so sad. All I do is comparing. Don’t be stupid and do the same please. Be strong and fight. I’ll also try my best... TW ENDS. - I hope you guys had/have a nice day💓 -
#Breakfast is a protein bar⁣ ⁣ I’ve had a really difficult few days, and I’ve really slipped on the recovery side. I just don’t feel comfortable in my own body and more and my mind it’s just set to lose the weight I’ve put on 😔 I’ve even put a plan in place, my ways to track it are all set up and ready to go. I’m not back in my OP clinic for another 2 weeks so feel like I can easily slip under the radar for as long as i need. I know this thinking is terrible but I just can’t stop, I don’t want to discuss it I just want to do it 😔⁣ ⁣ I don’t feel like I can or want to talk about this in real life as I always get the same responses. I initially set this page up as a private space to vent so I guess i need to start using it for that purpose. It’s a horrible place to be where you can’t stand your own body and it’s just a war in my head because I know a lower weight doesn’t equal happiness. I know that it doesn’t yet I still believe it does...⁣ ⁣ #anorexiarecovery #anarecovery #edrecovery #anafighter #fuckana #edwarrior #edfight #naourishnotpunish #foodisfuel #eatittobeatit #recovery #calories #strongerthanana #realrecovery #nomorerestriction #anorexia #beatingana #smallstepscount #strongnotskinny #edfamily #ed #anawho #fearfoods #mentalheath #eatingdisorders #foodismedicine #mentalhealthawareness
First picture was taken in July last year and the second was taken a couple days ago. • I honestly can’t believe that’s me in the first photo I was weak,tired and cold. So hungry I would cry and cry. Had constant heart palpitations. It was absolutely awful. Why did I let myself get that way? It all started out as “Oh I just want to eat healthier and lose a bit of weight” I remember telling my mum I wasn’t going to develop an ED (that’s what she was most concerned about) yeeeah that heavily backfired on me... Wish I could slap pre ed me in the face tbh I didn’t need to lose weight. But now I am SOoO much happier😁 I enjoy food a lot more and I’m starting to love my body. My thighs touch but wHO GIVES A FUCK? Your weight doesn’t define you as a person. I’m not slowly killing myself anymore. I’m finally living. Recovery is so hard but so worth it. I do still have wobbly days but that’s OKAY it won’t be 100% perfect everyday. You can do this I promise. You are beautiful no matter what. 💖
Take things as slow as you need to❤️
Die brezel snacks von @aldisuedde kann ich wirklich mal wieder sehr empfehlen 😍 Hey Leute ❤️ Heute hab ich erstmal richtig schön ausgeschlafen und hab dann einen Spaziergang mit meinem Papa und meinem Hund gemacht 🙈 Dann hab ich noch ein bisschen was für die Schule gemacht und Malen nach Zahlen gemacht 😊 Malen nach zahlen lenkt mich wirklich super vom Bewegungsdrang ab, deshalb kann ich es euch wirklich sehr empfehlen 🥰 Jetzt sind noch Verwandte gekommen und wir werden den Tag noch schön mit Kaffe und Kuchen ausklingen lassen 🎉 Bis morgen meine Lieben ❤️😇
#Breakfast was a butty 😊⁣ ⁣ Had a difficult few days recently, ended up with a huge crying sesh last night on poor R. I hate telling him how much I hate myself and the way I look because I can literally see his heart break and his world split in two 😔 its like he actually feels that pain, but it also does really help me and how I feel and he was fab 🥰⁣ ⁣ What’s ridiculous is is that I woke up this morning feeling fine 🙄 anorexia is an actual mind fuck somedays....⁣ ⁣ #anorexiarecovery #anarecovery #edrecovery #anafighter #fuckana #edwarrior #edfight #naourishnotpunish #foodisfuel #eatittobeatit #recovery #calories #strongerthanana #realrecovery #nomorerestriction #anorexia #beatingana #smallstepscount #strongnotskinny #edfamily #ed #anawho #fearfoods #mentalheath #eatingdisorders #foodismedicine #mentalhealthawareness
Good evening💫 For breakfast today i had alpro coconut yoghurt with apple, pear, a passion fruit, cinnamon and puffed amaranth. For lunch i had a package of protein cheese, a package of baby carrots, vegetarian sushi, green bell pepper, sour pickles and yellow tomatoes. For dinner i had a slice of wholegrain bread with a vegan pumpkin cream, tomatoes, sour pickles and marinated olives. My nightsnack is going to be all this amazing stuff🙏🏻 A semolina pudding, a alpro soy protein curd, some 'lindt' chocolate, a MilkyWay, a 'duplo' chocolate bar and a 'yogurette' chocolate bar. Today my anorexia wasn't very loud. I enjoyed all the foods, and i didn't thought very much about the calories. I'm going to have my night snack soon and watch a movie with mum.🌺 Hope you had a good day :) #anorexia #anorexiarecovery #orthorexia #anawho #anafighter #prorecovery #strongnotskinny #strongerthanana #edfighter #edwarrior #fuckanorexia #fuckcalories #fuckana #edfighter #edfamily #edsucks #eatittobeatit #eatingdisorderrecovery #recoveryiswothit #recoveryispossible
Loooove a warm chocolate doughnut 😍🍩🤤
Meine gestrige Challenge waren dann am Ende übrigens diese Garnelen 🙈 Hey Leute ❤️ Heute habe ich mal wieder einen verplanten Tag vor mir ! 🎊 Ich werde von 13-18 Uhr auf einer Veranstaltung sein und davor und danach muss ich auch noch Organisatorisches erledigen 😂🥰 Deshalb kommt der Post auch jetzt schon, weil ich nicht weiß, ob ich es schaffe mich heute Abend zu melden 😩 Bis morgen meine lieben und genießt euren Samstag 👌🏻🥰
My goodness. I can’t even begin to find the words to describe how much mental barriers I’ve personally overcome over the past few days. I’m speechless still at the progress I decided, myself, to make especially today. ------------------------------------------ I faced and broke fears and behaviours that I didn’t think I’d ever see myself breaking within at least the next few weeks. ------------------------------------------ But I did. Because inside, the void that my eating disorder has always stuck around to fill for me, is being filled by other things. Genuine things, things not made up of lies and false promises, unlike what my eating disorder gives me. ------------------------------------------ I’ve got a life and I’m gonna stop letting this shit define it, because a HELL of a lot more defines my identity than this. ------------------------------------------ And that starts now. Instead of, like planned, going back after getting back from resi and going to the gym and engaging in usual routine and behaviours, I texted my boyfriend and asked him if he was around, and he was and we went and relaxed, and I decided to spontaneously challenge myself beyond what I already had today - a ginger milk bubble tea with apple and tapioca pearls (no indecision either!!) THEN last minute when waiting for the train with him I grabbed myself a coffee AND SHARED A SPONTANEOUS LEMON PIE @battlesnacksofficial COOKIE THAT I PICKED UP NEW TO TRY because it was reduced in H&B hehe - no questions asked, no ed ALLOWED. That’s something I thought I couldn’t do but FUCK IT, I did it and as I’m writing this I’m realising that I don’t HAVE to let this disorder control me. I don’t HAVE to let this disorder ruin the progress I’ve made over the past couple of days. ------------------------------------------ I CAN CHANGE. AND I WILL. AND I’M SO *pardon the pun* HUNGRY FOR CHANGE. ------------------------------------------ Let’s keep this up. I’m determined to treat my body and my LIFE with the respect it deserves. #positivejessieout ✌🏼💓 xxx #bethebiggerbully
This ice cream is so nice ahhh 😍 @breyersdelightsuk YOU ARE ACTUALLY AMAZIN • Really trying to get myself out of Quasi recovery I’ve been stuck in it for months. I need to just let go but it’s so hard ughhhh. Hope you’ve all had an amazing day today xx
I am more than my eating disorder. So, often i miss my eating disorder. I miss this feeling of comfort. The feeling of being strong. The feeling of being something special. My anorexia was telling me so many times, that i'm stronger than other people. I felt stronger because i avoid eating. The anorexic voice said "Look how strong you are! All your friends are eating, but you don't need it" And this is sooo stupid! Because everyone needs food! Food is NOT the enemy! Calories are not the enemy! And it's completely normal that you "miss" your eating disorder sometimes. I understand you. If you're trapped in your anorexic circle, you feel save. I was proud for everyday i lived without food. But i know now that i don't need my illness to be happy. I am so much more than my anorexia! I deserve it to be healthy. I deserve it to eat. And you deserve it too! Even if you miss your eating disorder and ana is screaming at you, you still need to eat. You still need to fight. One day you are allowed to live without this awful voices. Because you are stronger. But you have to fight.🙏🏻 #anorexia #anorexiarecovery #orthorexia #prorecovery #edfamily #edwarrior #edfighter #strongerthanana #strongnotskinny #eatittobeatit #eatingdisorderrecovery #anawho #anafighter #strongerthanana #edsucks #recoveryiswothit #recoveryispossible #fuckanorexia #fuckcalories #fuckana
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