On Day 538, I gave myself a pep talk.
I don't get offended. I take it as a compliment, actually. So, please don't be offended if you've said it to me. On a number of occasions, I've been told, "You make this look easy, Pete." Let's just get something straight, RIGHT. FUCKING. NOW: It's not easy. I fight every day to maintain a prevailing #attitude
. Easy would have been swallowing a bottle of pills to make it all go away. Instead I chose to live and brazenly absorb and relish in every excruciating, rusty, heartbound spear jab. Easy would have been ignoring the muck, drinking some more rum and numbing the truth. Instead, I took a hard look into the mirror, strapped on some boots and willfully decided to wade through the shit that was my life. Easy would have been seeking solace in the comfort of those familiar relationships that helped enable my addiction. Instead, I hacked, slashed, and cut ties, discovering sincere support in those that value me. Easy would have been continuing to surpress unsettled grief over the loss of my parents. Instead, I grabbed a shovel, exhumed their ghosts, and said "Goodbye," once and for all. Easy would have been hanging onto the feelings of anger and betrayal that I felt toward my ex-wife. Instead, little by little, I'm seeing the world through her eyes and am beginning to understand why leaving me was the only option, and how that single moment in time allowed me to live again. "You make all of it look so easy, Pete." Thank you. None of it, I #REPEAT
, none of it, has been easy. But, it's been doable, attainable and worth it. Am I immune to relapse? No. Will I be sober this time next year? I have no idea. I'd like to think so. But I can tell you one thing for certain, you can bet your ass, I'm sober today. Why? Because I keep my chin-up, my fists clenched and fight every fucking minute, to make it look easy. The point: My goal in sharing isn't to set the standard or definition for your Recovery. That's upto you. My goal has only ever been to show that it can be done. #peteonrepeat #IAMTHESTORM