> breakfast <
Cette nuit j’ai encore très mal dormi, j’ai du m’endormir vers 00h30 pour me réveiller à 6h... ça fait environ une semaine que je dors mal et ça commence à devenir assez chiant 😓 je pense que c’est le stress du au Bac Blanc qui arrive. Même si je ne stress pas la journée je pense que ça se répercute sur mon sommeil 👍
Sinon ce matin je me suis régalée, le beurre de cacahuète c’est tout ma vie 😍 (triste vie dans ce cas là 😂)
▪️beurre de cacahuète
▪️yaourt au lait de chèvre
Ce matin je vais faire un peu de sport (et sans doute yoga car ça doit faire 2 semaines que je n’en n’ai pas fait et ça me manque!)🧘♀️
Ensuite je vais faire des fiches de révisions, de l’histoire, des maths (un pur bonheur) et de la SES❤️
C’est terrible de devoir passer ses vacances à réviser 😭
Et vous, vous faites quoi de beau aujourd’hui? 😘💛
#edfighter #realrecovery #anafighter #anorexiarecovery #anorexierecovery #breakfast #morning #health #healthy #healthybreakfast #peanutbutter #recovery #recoveryispossible #recoveryisworthit #toast #toasts
Instagram vs reality; just a few hours before this picture I was sitting crying to my mum about how anxious and depressed I’ve been feeling. Truthfully, these past few days have been so tough. My anxiety has escalated again and I keep thinking what is the point, what’s the point in keeping on going? Why can’t I just be normal and live my life like a normal person. On the way home from uni on Friday I just broke down to my mum and again in work yesterday I broke down. I feel scared, and I don’t even know what I’m scared of. I decided I wasn’t going to go out last night but my friends persuaded me to go even if I only went for a few hours. I’m so glad I went because it actually turned out to be a good night and I’m proud that I pushed myself out of my comfort zone to go. I will get back to that sociable, happy girl I was a few weeks ago!
Grill'd garden goodness burger for dinner 🍔
Even managed to have some chips!
Had a lovely day with my boyfriend and parents. We went in a big estate/garden kinda thing for a picnic, I had a ham and gherkin relish sandwich which was a massive win cause its my 2nd ever sandwich with filling since recovery! I also made my boyfriend some sandwiches which was fun. I've been incredibly open with my parents and bf with my anxieties around eating out so they made sure I was comfortable and it turned out to be a really stress free day.
Horrible body image day. Wanted to restrict so bad. Can't manage dessert but my meal plan only days every second day anyway, probably because my dietitian can see better than I can that having dessert more often would be overwhelming and lead to restriction. I feel like I've gained weight, even though if anything I've lost or at worst maintained. Plus I need to gain weight anyway wtf lol. I want so bad to go back to eating my safe amount of calories, the 100 calorie increase is freaking me out but I'm still barely eating enough. Idk if because I know I'm eating more the anorexia is telling me I look bigger. Anyway I hope tomorrow I feel better.
#anorexiarecovery #edrecovery #eatingdisorder #eatingdisorderrecovery #food #foodie #fearfood #recovery #ed #eatittobeatit #recoveryisworthit #foodisfuel #realrecovery #prorecovery #foodporn #edfood #realrecoveryfood #edrecoveryfood
Mine are FINALLY HERE and I could throw a party for that!
At least I'm congratulating myself for everything I've gone through for reaching this "level" of recovery.
After 12 years living without natural menstruation/menstruation at all (I decided not to use birth control/other hormonal solutions to get my periods, after many years struggling with unpleasant effects they caused) my body finally made a signal that my hormonal functions are now in quite good condition. Am I glad or what? OH MY GOD (whatever that is) YES. .
Getting my natural periods is one of the most concrete proofs about how far I've gotten on my recovery. I consider and feel myself recovered and this is the most amazing thing I've experienced. .
My physical body is working. My bodily functions are normalizing.
My mind is not trapped.
I see myself as a team formed by my mind and body.
I don't see myself as a structure of bits and pieces.
I don't despise my body.
I don't have a need to exercise compulsively.
I like to eat, I enjoy eating.
I'm not afraid of eating in front of others.
I want to take care of myself.
Food and eating aren't expressing moral implications for me anymore.
Ed-thoughts are so, so, so silent if they appear, and my own voice has power to mute that whispering.
For as long as I can remember my greatest wish has been to live a life without an eating disorder, to sense how and what is this reality that I've been unable to live.
This realm of freedom, as I thought this reality that I'm now living is, is what I call living.
And yes, I thought that the day of my first natural periods would never come but yet it did, in age of 26.
Revocery is possible.
You can get there.
#anorexiarecovery #edrecovery #menstruation #periods #bodyacceptance #selfacceptance #foodfreedom #appreciation #selflove #selfcare #health #recoveryispossible #recoveryisworthit #fuckdietculture #edwarrior #body #syömishäiriö
My dream breakfast situation 🤗
Avocado 🥑, frozen banana 🍌 , spinach, almond milk and cinnamon blended up into the creamiest green smoothie bowl and topped with all my favourite things: raw chocolate drizzle, hemp hearts, berries, cacao nibs, @deliciouslyella
granola and of course @manilife_
peanut butter. When the chocolate sauce hits the cool smoothie it forms a magic shell - heaven 😍. If you had to eat one breakfast on repeat what would it be? 🧐🥞
Sunday morning smoothie bowl😛😛😛 blueberry and @missfitsnutrition
vanilla vegan protein smoothie bowl topped with nectarines, chia seeds, desiccated coconut and @mindfulbitesuk
cacao Brazil nut butter😍😍😍
Breakfasting on weetabix + soya milk + banana🍌! Arrived back from Amsterdam on Friday, can honestly say it was AMAZING😝! Not got any plans for today, what have you all got planned?!?
Also ich fand die leider nicht so lecker 🤨
Hey Leute ❤️
Heute melde ich mich mal schon in der Früh, weil ich heute einiges vorhabe 🥰 Ich werde heute mit meiner ganzen Familie zum Flughafen fahren und dann werden wir dort meinen Bruder abholen, der jetzt seit einem halben Jahr im Ausland war 😍 Allerdings gehen wir dort dann wahrscheinlich essen am Mittag und mittags fällt mir das sowieso schon schwer und noch dazu kennt mein Bruder mein gestörtes Essverhalten nicht so wirklich und deshalb habe ich Angst, was er sagen wird 😓 Dann muss ich heute auch noch Latein lernen, weil wir bald Schulaufgabe schreiben und Spanisch und Geschichte lernen, weil wir diese Fächer morgen haben 😩 Meine Bio Hausaufgabe will ich heute auch noch erledigen und dann halt noch ein paar kleinere Dinge 😅 Ich hoffe ihr habt heute alle einen schönen Tag und bis morgen oder später 😊🙈
What a way to end the week .... an afternoon at ... work 😂✌🏻 although got to make the most of sitting on the deck reading my book in the sunshine ! It’s been a tough and busy week for me but I’m putting steps in place to make better choices and bigger steps in the right direction for my health this week. It may be hard but it will be worth it. Talking to people who care and want to help is great @jen_healthy @mystique.fitness @vegtay.ble
you gals are fab ! 💕
U N H E A L T H Y F O O D
A toppic very common for people having an ed which I want to tell you more about from my point of view. Maybe you’ll say like, noo not again, but there really is no unhealthy food. Take fries for example, yes they contain fat, but so what? Your body NEEDS fat and even multiple times a week! Or candy, your body NEEDS sugar! It gives us the energy to breath and walk! I’m not saying everything is healthy, an overdose of a food group, I mean, eating pizza every day of the week, can be a little too much. But if you eat it once, twice or maybe three times it is totally okay! The healthiest way of eating is an eating pattern including EVERY food. Carbs, fats, sugars, proteins.. all of them. Your body is made and built to know what’s good for you and I promise, you’ll find a very healthy way of eating by just trusting it. Don’t worry if all you’re craving now is sugary or anything, that’s totally normal. Your body hasn’t got those nutrients for a very long time and just wants to catch up now you’re feeding it again!💛
We went to a winterbar in the nearby park and they sold pancakes! Even though I had eaten pancakes at noon I still craved one and I opted for white chocolate & apricot jam!! 🤤 IF YOU WANT PANCAKES TWICE A DAY, GET PANCAKES TWICE A DAY!!!!! 🥞
#pancake #recovery #anorexiarecovery #anarecovery #anawho #fight #edfighter #ed #edrecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #strongnotskinny #edwarrior #food #lovefood #foodisgood #foodisfuel #prorecovery #hungry #yum #nourishtoflourish #positivity #mentalhealth #healthy #healing #recoveryisworthit #beautiful #delicious #fearfood #recoverywin
My past taught me to drink my coffee black but doesn’t it just taste hella better with milk? Last #breakfast
at home was proats with banana, cacao nibs, bluebs, pb, self-made muffin, coconut chips and sesame seeds plus a cup of coffee with oat milk!🤩
Being inpatient usually sucks but as I told you it can also teach us things. This third hospitalization has taught me more than ever and these are the things I’d like to share:
👣 LIFE JUST DOESN’T GO THE WAY YOU HAD PLANNED
I’ve been missing out everything that happens outside the hospital. School, friends, parties and so on but somehow I’ve learned to face my own reality and that’s all that counts.
👣 WHEN YOU TRY TO CONTROL EVERYTHING YOU ENJOY NOTHING
Maybe the feeling of being in control gives you temporary relief but in the end it just drives you towards a permanent chaos.
👣 THE OUTSIDE HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE INSIDE
Your vision of someone usually is far from the truth before you open your mouth and give up on your expectations.
👣 EVEN WHEN YOU’RE IN PAIN YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE ONE
People don’t always build up walls to keep others out but to keep whatever is left in. However the walls should never keep us away from our loved ones or drive away our kindness.
👣 NOTHING WILL GO AWAY UNTIL IT HAS TAUGHT YOU EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW
I have been trying to get rid of many things hurting me without succeeding. That’s just because I haven’t learnt all the things they were supposed to teach me in the beginning and yes, I still do have a lot to learn.
Anni di malattia hanno ridotto la mia vita ad un continuo sprofondare nel dolore, mi sono trovata a vari stadi ed in varie condizioni nell'arco del tempo ma mai avevo raggiunto un limite come quello di adesso ne mai avrei pensato di raggiungerlo. Consumata dalle ossessioni, mille acciacchi fisici, un BMI di 10.9 ed una vita miserabile che della parola 'vita' ha ben poco.
Ho provato a partire e ripartire tante volte optando per strade differenti e, tra percorsi naufragati ed altri mai partiti realmente, ho collezionato fallimenti su fallimenti.
Come vi ho scritto via Stories qualche giorno fa siamo giunti al giro di boa definitivo nel quale, posta di fronte al bivio, non ho più occasione di ritirarmi da una scelta. Domattina la psichiatra si metterà nuovamente in contatto con mio padre per accordarsi sull'incontro che dovranno fare i miei in ospedale nella sede dell'SPDC e vedremo se mi verrà concesso un margine di tempo per dimostrare di volercela mettere tutta questa volta. Piano piano in questi giorni ho provato un approccio differente all'alimentazione ed ho cercato di incrementare le mie dosi in maniera tale da arrivare domani ad un minimo 'accettabile' per cominciare.
Ho seguito molti dei consigli e delle accortezze che mi avete suggerito e ce la sto mettendo tutta perché questa volta NON voglio e NON posso crollare ne tornare indietro. Devo andare avanti e scontrarmi contro questa benedetta paura, devo urlare a squarciagola più forte della malattia per quanto essa sia devastante al momento 😔
Non ho nulla da perdere ed una chance me la devo anche io. Se voglio posso, so che è così. Credo fermamente in una vita fuori dal tunnel nero e mi motivo facendomi forza anche grazie agli esempi che seguo qui ed a tante storie di rinascite che mi danno la speranza che sia tutto raggiungibile con pazienza e perseveranza.
Oggi metto un altro mattoncino al mio percorso, mi incammino finalmente verso il traguardo, sarà un viaggio lungo e pieno di ostacoli ma non sono sola e sono sicura che troverò supporto anche qui con voi famiglia virtuale 👭💛
Abbiate pazienza e vogliate perdonarmi per i mesi di scostanza, incoerenza, ambivalenza.. nei quali non sono stata ne un ⤵️
Für mich geht's jetzt ein bisschen raus, weil das Wetter und der Schnee einfach SO schön ist!
Zur Pizza: Ich habe ja schon erzählt, dass meine Krankheit mir für (ehemalige) fearfoods "Regeln" aufgestellt hat. Wie "entweder Pizza oder Eis" oder "Nur Freitags Pintparty ".
Das ist totaler Quatsch! Ihr könnt immer Essen was ihr wollt und worauf ihr Bock habt❤ Vertraut eurem Körper und gebt ihm Zeit, er nimmt sich, was er braucht!
Für mich hieß das diese Woche 2x Pintparty und eine ganze Pizza.
Und es war super lecker🤗
#recovery #recovering #recoveryisworthit #anorexia #edrecovery #minniemaud #food #foodporn #anorexiarecovery
Hey Leute ich hoffe euch geht es gut 👋🏼❤️
Ich finde es so schön das man jetzt wieder am Nachmittag ohne Jacke raus gehen kann da es einfach schön angenehm ist 🤭 das verbessert auch immer gleich meine Laune 👍🏼
Ich muss heute noch ein wenig lernen und dann ist das Wochenende auch schon wieder vorbei Naja auf jeden Fall wünsche euch allen noch einen schönen Sonntag und genießt die Sonne
war ein Brötchen mit Pflaumenmus und ein Glas Saft
waren 2 Mandarinen 🍊
war Schweinegyros mit Reis 🍛
war ein Stück Himbeertorte🍰
war Toastbrot mit Schinken und Tomate 🍅
Garlic prawn and soy sauce stirfry after a very busy day
1 serving egg noodles
10 prawns marinated in garlic
Mixed veggies (I used carrot, broccoli, peas, spinach and beans)
3 dashes of soy sauce
2 tsp crushed garlic
Topped with 1 tbsp peanut butter
A wonderful day full of relaxation and self care And lots of yummy food 🔥! Also: Had my dog 🐶 groomed. Went to a lovely yoga 🧘♀️ class. Went grocery shopping at @sprouts
🥰. Met up with a friend and chatted for a bit. Bought flight ✈️ tickets for a mom daughter trip soon. And binge watched Pretty Little Liars on @netflix
for the rest of the day and night to catch up on the last season i missed out on. Sooo addicted to it again now! I’ll be up all night 😂. Anyone else like that show?!
What are your weekend supplies? Comment using emojis! 😉💕⚡️
Graphic by @dots
[image of a black felt letter board that reads “don’t forget to drink H2O and get some sun because you’re basically a houseplant with more complicated emotions.”
Afternnon😇 Lunch Today was a Ham and Relish Sandwich, an Apple, and Ginger Bread😍. Afternoon Tea was a Yogurt, Banana Milk, and Superwines!
Got to spend the afternoon out with Mum buying some final essentials for going to Uni. This time last month whether or not I’d even be able to go to Uni was highly questionable, I was in a really bad place mentally and physically. Yet today Mum and I were shopping for Dorm Decor! Amazing how just a few weeks of recovery has led me here! I’ve still got a long way to go but I’m way better than I was before I was admitted. This admission has done me wonders and I’m so glad I’m now going to be able to go out and start my life as a Uni student!
Recovery is 100% worth it. I promise that although it’s hard at times, the positive experiences and personal growth that come of it are priceless. I’m able to live life again and my ed is no longer holding me back. There are still tough days, but I just have to think about how much better I’m doing to realise that it’s worth it☺️
Ah! I’m in such a good mood! I’m sending good vibes your way Lovelies💫
#eatittobeatit #eatingdisorderrecovery #nourishtoflourish #recoverywin #fuckana #strongnotskinny #recoverywarrior #recoveryisworthit #anorexia #anarecovery #anorexiarecovery #gainingweightiscool #yummy #edfamily #edrecovery #anawho #inpatient
I just went and got my biggest f***ing craving- I haven’t had it since YEAR 7- SCOTTISH TABLET 😱 so.amazing. •
Honestly it would be so nice to just wake up every morning and KNOW that for that WHOLE day, I’m in recovery. ALL my actions must be towards recovery. I am committed, mind and soul, and therefore I have nothing to fear or to question. I don’t need to think about what to eat, where to go or how to waste time that day- because the answer is simply eat as much as possible in order to restore my weight, rest as much as I can to repair my body and accept the fact this will mean weight gain.
I would be aware that some days I won’t like it and some days I won’t want to eat at ALL... but I’m in recovery 100%. I’ve committed. So there’s no stress or confusion. No anxiety over trying to recover while simultaneously appease my eating disorder. There would be no fear foods or compulsions- because my goal is to nutritionally rehabilitate and neurally rewire ANYWAY. There is just full.complete.recovery. •
Knowing THAT... I’d be at peace. I’d be scared and unsure- but I’d be far more relaxed. And I’d be on the road to a better life.
AND ITS ALL ONE BIG LEAP OF FAITH AWAY. It’s in MY hands. •
#anorexiarecovery #edrecovery #anorexia #eatittobeatit #togetherwecan #recoveryisworthit #fuckana #anawho #minniemaud #realrecovery #weightgain #edwarrior #edfam #gainflabfeelfab #edsoldier #recovery #eatingdisorder #adultwithed #inpatient #weightrestoring #recoveryispossible
celebrating accomplishments is so important to success because it:
1. releases stress
2. provides motivation
3. recognizes excellence
4. shows appreciation and acceptance
5. builds energy
6. provides a Time of reflection
7. is a moment in time to be remembered
what did you celebrate last?
Short hair & Sparkles✨⭐️💫