Post traumatic RECOVERY ✊✨
Today is an extremely empowering day for me, why? It's the anniversary of my leaving. -
I left someone who would constantly abuse me emotionally, financially, sexually, and eventually, physically.
Even though this person would treat the woman they 'loved' this way, I still stayed. Even after they kicked me out and I was homeless, I still stayed. I was blinded by this thought that they would be the person I first met if I could get to them. But that person I first met was just an act, and the person I left was the true being behind the mask.
No matter what happened after I left, today is a momentous day for me. I did it. Recovery is never easy, but I would never turn around and go back ♥️ Today, I'm celebrating me and my freedom, and the unapologetic woman I am today because of it ✊🥳
Today, I remind myself why I want to help others on their journey through healing and to their Rebirth. I remind myself why I'm a recovery coach in the first place. I was alone and in the dark once before, but that doesn't mean that you have to 🌫 I was once unsure of when healing would come, but you don't have to 🌌
If you are a survivor as well and no matter how long it's been since you left and started taking you life back, whether it's been:
I'm so proud of you. Celebrate you today, too🥳🎉
#domesticviolencesurvivor #domesticviolence #posttraumaticgrowth #traumasurvivor #overcominganxiety #overcomingdepression #copingskills #coping #traumarecovery #childhoodtrauma #ptsdrecovery #ptsdawareness #narcissisticabuse #gaslighting #traumabonding #healingfromabuse #emtionalabuse #domesticabuse #verbalabuse #abuserecovery #abuse #recoverycoach #abusiverelationship #lovedoesnthurt #abusesurvivor #stopdomesticviolence #stopabuse #recoverywin #recoveryispossible #recoveryjourney
Breakfast is a massive surprise of 2 egg frittata with chicken, feta, pumpkin, zucchini, tomatoes and spinach 😂 + berocca and green tea 🍳🎃🥒🍅🍵 Sunday is rest day!! Going to the food markets and no excuse to be skipping or restricting any meals as rest days are more important for fuelling your body for the week ahead 💪💪 hope everyone has a lovely day 💕
Talk about #jobsatisfaction
, today while representing Timberline Knolls Residential Treatment Center at Alliance for Eating Disorders Awareness “Not One More” Walk, two brave young women approached our booth to let me know that TK saved their lives! Wow! I told them thank you for sharing and being vulnerable. That’s why I do this job, I don’t always get to see the results, but I know there are many stories like theirs. Today was a bonus to get to hear first hand! Both are active members of our #alumna
group and gave me consent to share their picture and story! #recoveryispossible
Life is not meant to be easy. It's meant to break you down so that you can be built back up into the strong and courageous warrior that you were made to be. We all have a purpose.
"You’re so inspiring and stories like yours are meant to tell and be proud of!" - @shaylatrujillo
These words gave me the courage to share a deeper side of myself that I don't speak about very freely with the world. There is always that fear of judgment and rejection that lingers in the back of one's mind. Well, not anymore because I have come to know my value over the years. Those words gave me the go ahead to be even more real and raw with those around me.
Today makes 8 years. I've been clean from such a deadly and life destroying substance for 8 years as of today. That's 8 years of climbing up this rugged mountain holding on for dear life. 8 years of celebrating each day as the wonderful gift that it is because the truth is, I'm extremely blessed to have even a single day. I'm extremely blessed to have overcome such a destructive drug and I give my credit to God because without Him I would have accomplished nothing.
I share this to inspire. To give hope. To break through that barrier that keeps people from opening up and sharing things that they fear will bring them rejection. No one is made to walk through this life alone. We are made to help one another through the rough times and celebrate with them through the good times.
So celebrate my 8 year victory with me because I took meth by the horns and beat that devil down! Thank you Jesus!!
It’s easy to see why pets get excited when taking ThoughtCloud CBD. Many owners are looking to help their friend stay happy, playful, and healthy. 🐶💯💫
❤️When you’re happy, ecstatic, and fostering an internal dialogue that uplifts and encourages your life towards your desires, you are high vibration. 👉🏽There is never a need to hate, criticize, belittle, or harm yourself or others in any way. ☺️There is always a route of peace. 💚There is always a solution with love at its core.❤️ Love is always right on time and never hurried. 💪🏾You can guarantee that when you open up your heart and release the discomfort, you will have more room for the love that is now falling down on you like you’re in the middle of a monsoon. 🌊 You’re chosen to be here at the most important time ever. 👉🏽You knew you would be here before you showed up. 👉🏽You knew that you would be reborn here after having selected all of the amazing facets of your life while seated in the white seat of creation. 💚Now you have every implement at your disposal to carry out you life’s deepest desires. ☺️ Do not delay. Do whatever you must do to make your dreams your reality. 😇You have no choice but to live out your destiny, NOW! 👉🏽We are always by your side cheering you on. 😇
I’m in love with the coco⠀
Nothing like a drink as nature intended.
Use ThoughtCloud CBD to defend yourself from stress and fatigue on your journey.
Post différent des autres mais c’est juste pour vous annoncer que je vais laisser ce compte de côté. J’y viendrai en cas de besoin mais je sens que maintenant j’ai besoin de m’en détacher. J’ai repris un poids tout à fait normal par rapport à ma morphologie de base, je ne sais pas si j’ai finis d’en prendre, mais je verrai bien et j’essaierai d’accepter 🙂
Avoir ce compte depuis quelques temps est plus néfaste qu’autre chose car je me dis « il faudrait que je post » alors qu’au final en ce moment ça me soule de poster des repas, je préfère poster sur mon autre compte.
En ce moment je vais vraiment mieux mentalement, je rigole beaucoup plus, je revis vraiment et ça fait du bien 😍
J’ai encore beaucoup de difficultés à assumer mon corps, je me sens souvent plus mal que bien dedans, mais je pense que c’est juste une histoire de temps, donc j’ai de l’espoir.
Merci beaucoup à toutes celles qui m’ont aidé et soutenu parce que c’est vraiment grâce à ce compte entre autre que j’ai pu m’en sortir. J’ai rencontré des personnes juste adorables, ça fait vraiment chaud au cœur ❤️
J’y reviendrai de temps en temps, et quand j’en ressentirai le besoin!
Je vous fais des bisous, et prenez soin de vous surtout 💛🧡❤️
#anorexia #anorexiarecovery #realrecovery #edfighter #anafighter #anorexierecovery #edrecovery #edrecover #heath #recovery #recoveryiswothit #recoveryispossible
A year ago this girl walked into a room im pretty sure I never thought I'd see her in, and I'm fairly certain she was pretty surprised to see me too... oh how thankful I am that she did tho. We've basically known each other forever and Becca I'm so proud of the woman, mother and friend you are today! Love you. 💜💙 @ginger_gypsy87 #ODAAT #recoveryispossible
3 course meal !! Including my mums homemade chocolate cake 😁 absolutely slaying and I couldn’t care about anorexia any less xox
The moment you're ready to quit is usually the moment right before the miracle happens. Keep moving forward. Don't give up.
Hole in one excitement!! 🏌🏼♀️
Not a cloud in the sky. Depression took away my capacity to see such beautiful and simple things such as this. Recovery brought it back, and, I’m so grateful. If you are struggling, I hope you can still see the brightness in the darkness. I promise you, it’s there. Keep going. #depression #anxiety #pnd #recoveryispossible #breakthestigma #noshame #light
23/2/19- night snack is cheerios in a cup cause I can't be bothered to clean a bowl👏
Honestly proud of myself that I was able to eat a cereal other than weetabix.
Feeling on the verge of a binge. 😖
You’ll never be ‘ready enough’ to recover. Never. You’ll never be thin enough, you’ll never be sick enough, you’ll never reach your ‘ideal’ weight , you’ll never feel valid enough, worthy enough, you’ll never be ENOUGH. Because guess what? Eating disorders are so competitive. Competitive against other people’s eating disorders, competitive against people without eating disorders, competitive against its own self.
And the thing is, I know a lot of people often (including me sometimes too, I’m not perfect at all!) believe, the validity to recovery has to be through professional clinical intervention - being admitted, being tubed, getting attached to a bunch of wires or drips or whatever. ------------------------------------------
But I’ll tell you one thing - the more you’re on an endless quest to become ‘sick enough’, the further your actual life is slipping from your fingers. The further are your chances of getting better. The harder it will be and the more pain you’ll endure in the long run. Not only physical damage, including permanent infertility, oesteoporosis, lifelong injuries, kidney damage etc which will render your life not only more restricted in the future, but you’ll lose friends. You’ll lose family. And when, when you’re either forced into recovery or finally choose recovery, you’re trying to get back your life before any of this, but eating disorders have the potential to destroy families, let alone friendships and relationships. And you’ll be starting over.
Being admitted to hospital and having to eat or stop behaviours and habits against your will won’t make you choose recovery. It may make you gain weight, but that’s all completely futile if the decision to recover hasn’t been made. It may temporarily give your body what it needs but it will never determine whether you’ll follow through with the routine once you’re out. It also makes it often harder to get back into ‘real life’ and function. ------------------------------------------
(Continued below 👇🏽)
Typically we think of depression as something for the depressive and the therapist to deal with. But it affects not just the sufferer, but their friends, their loved ones and their wider community. So really, it’s an issue that needs to be managed, and understood, by everyone. What I’m trying to do is to explain depression so that the non-depressive, be it a close friend or family member, can best understand what is happening, and how they can effectively deal with it.
Don’t ask ‘why people are you depressed?’ and get frustrated if there is no clear answer. There is almost never a clear answer, sometimes there is no answer, it is incredibly complicated and every case of depression is different.
I know that there are 350 million people that experience depression worldwide according to the World Health Organization – but I’m likely to feel like I’m the only one.
Because depression, for the most part, is incredibly exhausting, I’m spending a lot of mental energy simply trying not to succumb to negative thoughts. Even very basic tasks like getting out of bed or preparing a meal can sometimes feel incredibly taxing. Consider what it feels like to be stuck in quicksand, this is how moving through a depressive episode
#mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthadvice #Mentalhealthsupport #depression #mentalhealthcondition #bipolar #anxiety #socialanxiety #ptsd #mentalillness #recoveryispossible #positivity #support #kindness #alteduk #meditation #selfdiscovery #freeyourmind #innerpeace #meditate #mindfulness #wellness #awareness #mindset #spirituality #zen
I am in recovery and I am very open about it. I am very open about my past. My alcoholism, drug use, gambling, childhood trauma. I do not believe in being anonymous. The more I talk about my past, the more I talk about my addiction and the more I talk about my mistakes, the more I heal from them. I have many regrets in my life but I have absolutely no shame about admitting that I'm in recovery.
#joemitsch #recovery #noshame #overcomer #determinedtosucceed #yesican #believer
If you can’t love yourself, no one else will...and you won’t be able to love anyone else? I’ve always hated these sayings. So much. I haven’t loved myself in a decade. So telling me that no one else will either and I’m not capable of giving others love...is that supposed to make me feel better? Well it doesn’t. 🤷🏻♀️ I disagree with these statements with every atom in my body. Over the past decade, I have loved so many people. I love my family, friends, pets. My boyfriend. I love him, and he loves me as well, he loves me so much. I wholeheartedly believe it is possible to give AND receive love even if you’re struggling to love yourself. We are our worst critics. It is absolutely heartbreaking to me that people are enforcing the thought that if you don’t love yourself, you’re unlovable. That is completely false. It is so easy for us to pick out our own flaws, because it’s human nature. We are with ourselves 24/7, 365. Every second. We know ourselves better than anyone, we know our own fears, secrets, dreams, accomplishments, failures, demons. And that is why it’s SO easy to be SO hard on ourselves. Everyone has demons, everyone has made mistakes. That doesn’t mean you aren’t worthy of love. I don’t love myself right now. But I know others do, and that is what keeps me going. You are loved, regardless of how you view yourself. Self love is so important and completely revolutionary, I pray that everyone will experience it. But if you cannot, that NEVER makes you undeserving of unconditional love.
Day 23 of "weight unknown"
Yesterday, in celebration of my 2 year Life-iversary, I wore the power bracelet I made 3 years ago in residential during one of our craft times😍
⚠️WARNING: poop talk⚠️
I've been trying to wean myself off of my nightly pint of @halotopcreamery
ice cream. For the last 2 years it seems a pint (sometimes 2 if necessary) a night keeps me regular. It has completely eaten away (pardon the pun) at my savings and I just can't afford $5-10/day to guarantee I keep pooping, but so far I haven't found anything else that gives the same steady results. I'm down to a half-pint every other day and while I was still going daily, it was becoming more difficult and definitely not the same physical and emotional satisfaction I used to get from going several times a day. It's causing a lot of stress and dangerous ED thoughts are creeping in constantly. Well Wednesday came and went with no poop. I thought it was ok, there's a day every few months when I don't get to poop. But Thursday came and went without anything either. I had to fight the thoughts in order to keep eating. It was difficult, but I managed. Yesterday I was reallyyyyy hoping for a great bowel movement, so that I could truly enjoy my day and not worry if there was something medical going on, GI wise. Nothing. No sign of poop anywhere. I was able to enjoy my day anyway, including food, but in the middle of the night I had a complete breakdown. I was mortified by how large my body has become, I was overcome with shame for actually believing I looked good (and publicly announcing it) just hours earlier, I remembered how loved I felt when I was sick and dying, I was filled with sadness thinking nobody will love me now that I'm chubby-ish, I had fleeting thoughts of wanting to die. I was seconds away from a massive laxative overdose. But I was able to pause to breathe. I ate a pint of HT even though I wasn't exactly hungry, but I was desperate to poop. I put on my jammies, washed my face, brushed my teeth, and went to sleep. I'm happy to report that I've gone 4 times already today☺️and I'm reminding myself that I *am* a fucking goddess...
(cont in comments)
One time back in high school, my friends invited me to the lake for a get-together. I ordered a bikini from a magazine thinking “ugh I NEED to look like that size 0 model before it gets here.”
That week I ate as little as possible, exercised vigorously and was in tears before going to this lake party because my body didn’t look like the swimsuit model’s.
What we see in the media MATTERS.
So many young women are trapped comparing themselves to highly-edited, photoshopped and cosmetically-manipulated pictures of celebs, models and influencers.
The good news is that these days WE are a part of the media.
WE are in charge of what we post on Instagram.
And WE can contribute to the future of social media, honest advertising and women’s empowerment. 🙌
That’s why I’m so honored to be a part of the #AerieREAL
And guess what?!
You get to be a part of it too!!! 👯♀️
👉 Share your unretouched swim photos with #AerieREAL
and tagging @Aerie
For every post, Aerie will donate $1 (up to $50,000!) to @NEDA
, a non-profit that supports those affected by eating disorders. 🙏
It’s time to love the swim we’re in and inspire others to do the same. ♥️ Who’s with me?! 🙋♀️ #AeriePartner
#aerie #selflove #selfloveisthebestlove #loveyourself #loveyourbody #beyoutiful #bodylove #neda #nedawareness #recoveryisworthit #recoveryispossible #edrecovery
Always believe in yourself!
Instagram ⏩ reality 😂😛
. . .
Okay but in all seriousness this ball of fluff has been wonderful for my mental health. Having a relentlessly happy, gorgeous ball of fluff adoring you and appreciating you really is a beautiful thing.
. . .
Pets can help with symptoms of:
Self destructive behaviour.
. . .
Chester is currently fairly untrained and still giving me relief and help with a lot of my mental health symptoms and helping me get out of the house, off my phone and getting movement.
. . .
Pets are wonderful, animals are wonderful.
What’s your pet called? 😍
Hello❤️ this was a piece of pizza🍕that i ate during Christmas-break😋 i was really really ill than😔 but it was with my brother and he can let me do things that i not even think possible is when I am alone (or with someone else than him)❤️✨ He’s my little ( okay, okay big haha😂) god😍 today I went out for lunch with my family and we get our food at three o’clock😱😱 I don’t know, it was just really hard because it was sooo late for me😖 i had fries and ketchup🍟🥫 with beef stew 🥘 and a little salad with honey-mustard dressing🍯🥗 and i almostly finished it😌 (the only thing that I’m kinda proud of😕)but because i had no idee wat i was going to eat and where and all that shit✨ i absolutely didn’t eat enough today😭 I had a little breakfast (just a little bowl with lots if raspberry’s🍓, a bit of muesli🥣 and some yoghurt🥛) because of lunch (now, i hate myself for that😖😖) and that was everything...... i want to eat at least something when I come home because I’M ACTUALLY SOOO STARVING!!!😔 but i don’t know or i can do that because it’s already soo late than❤️ I’m now in the car🚘 please, send help🙏🙏❤️❤️ everyone ate a piece of pie after the lunch but i just coudn’t😭 and that heards me actually a lot because I was just thinking that it was getting better with me😑 tomorrow I’m just at home so it is problably better than🤞❤️ but all this made me really sad and down🥺 I’m sorry for this kinda negative update✨but i want to be honest and yeah, this is just part of recovery❤️💪 sooo if there’s one day that everything goes wrong, don’t pannic!!! It’s part of recovery✨❤️ one day is not the biggest problem✨ but it gonna be a big problem if you listen to that illness and going to restrict!!✨💪 so please, keep fighting❤️✨ it is sooo worth it🙏you are all sooo lovely people❤️✨ (I’m also really really really really really really scared for my appointment with my therapist monday, they gonna weigh me!!!😖❤️ but ok, that’s okay✨ I’m sooo happy if that’s passed😕)
Lately I’ve been struggling with what I thought were anxiety attacks. But this has been next level. It’s not only my brain that’s been wired, but I’ve been having a lot of physical symptoms.
Body aches. Headaches. Nausea. Dizziness. Difficult breathing. Shakes. Racing heart. Feeling like something thick is running through my veins.
I decided I wasn’t going to sit around and let these attacks control my day. They’ve been debilitating. I’ve had to leave my classes for upwards of 30 minutes to try to get things under control. I’ve had to stay hyper focused to try and concentrate the anxiety to one part of my body so I can continue to function. But because this has been happening once a week, and because I’ve been fine in between attacks, I knew something had to be done.
I called up my psychiatrist and here’s what we figured out together: The very first medication I was put on was Lexapro, an anti-depressant. And we thought it was controlling my depression, which I now have other meds that serve that function, so I’ve been working towards getting off of it. I’ve been on a 5mg dosage for months now. But what we realized was this: when I first started with Lexapro, it was to help with panic. And as my panic attacks got worse at that time, my primary care doctor kept upping the dosage. We forgot about that. Bingo.
Identifying your triggers is important. Identifying patterns from the beginning of your treatment is important. Identifying what path you took with your medication to get to a healthy space is important. It’s hard to make those calls and admit that you need help. But like I’ve said, this kind of journey is not one you can take alone. So no, I’m not getting off of Lexapro any time soon, but a few weeks from now, hopefully I’ll be catastrophizing less and I won’t feel like irrational thoughts are ruining my day. Always a work in progress.