A follower said to me yesterday “you just don’t get it”
I was thrown back from this comment… It made me confused.
Yes, I am recovered from anxiety. Yes, I do not get panic attacks anymore.
But that does not mean that I forgot my past.
I seem happy now when I go live or post pictures but guys there was a time when I could not GET OUT OF BED. I had nothing. I felt hopeless and helpless.
The panic attacks controlled me, they were the forefront of EVERY SINGLE THOUGHT I HAD.
I was not living, I was living waiting to die.
I had agoraphobia- I got to the point where leaving the house was near impossible. I was so scared of anything and everything. Once my anxiety got to its worst I was having anxiety over having anxiety. I was always waiting and anticipating a panic attack.
Every single day I felt like I was dying, every single day I felt scared.
Every single day I struggled with dizziness, heart palpitations, weird vision, tingling feelings in my arms and legs, headaches, feeling of “I am about to pass out”, shortness of breath, chest pain, stomach pain, and more. I spent my days googling trying to just figure out WHAT IS THIS. Never believing a single doctor who was screaming at me “you are okay it is anxiety”. Because how could something this strong and powerful be just in my head? It seems impossible.. they must be forgetting something? Right? Right?
WRONG. I wanted so badly to just find an answer. Every day searching for an answer as to why but never looking deep Into “how can I help myself”. I never took steps towards recovery until I got to my worst. I just expected to immediately heal. Wake up one day and it all be gone. I set myself up for failure expecting a light to just switch.
Take the steps. Don’t give up. But also, do not forget that just because someone is smiling that they have not been there before. •
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Pruning can be a very tough season, or it can be a welcome one. It's marked by a time of growth and reprioritization. Sometimes we're not actively pruning (getting rid of habits and unwanted relationships in order to grow and refocus) sometimes we GET pruned which is when we no longer have access to the old friendships or habits through no fault of our own and that's when it's painful because you don't know why you don't get to continue living your life the way you were. Know this: you're being pruned so you can accept new opportunities that will serve you better, that will help you reach your next strata, that will propel you into success. You're going to experience grief for now but all of this will be replaced for the better over time. .
#prune #pruning #process #grief #makingspace #success #trauma #ptsd #girlboss #femtrepreneur #balancethescale #balancecoach #lifecoach #traumacoach #womenencouragingwomen #orange #tree #pruningshears
CBD and seasonal anxiety disorder🤔
Seasonal anxiety still manifests itself similarly to typical anxiety. These being things such as low serotonin. Therefore, it feels very much like any generalized anxiety disorder. The main difference is that it is only prevalent during certain seasons.
🚨Overall signs and symptoms:🚨
•Feeling sad or depressed most of the day
•Losing interest in activities
•Unable to concentrate
•Changes in appetite and weight
Common signs and symptoms during fall and winter seasonal anxiety disorder:
🌱Cannabidiol, or CBD🌱: A major non-psychotomimetic compound of the Cannabis Sativa plant. It provides many benefits similar to that of Cannabis. However, it contains no THC. Therefore, CBD is completely legal in all 50 states. There are no psychoactive effects. CBD is shown to carry neuroprotective and neurogenic effects. It also displays anxiolytic effects in humans and animals. Currently, CBD is used to help many mental and autoimmune disorders. It’s also tested for its anti-cancer properties.
However, the treatment of anxiety has the most research-based facts. CBD administered to sufferers displayed great results. After the CBD bound to specific receptors in the brain, the sufferer felt relaxed. Their cognitive skills were increasingly high. Their heart rate and blood pressure significantly decreased. Also, anxiety and panic attacks were greatly reduced. Feelings of depression diminished significantly and an elevated mood was noticed in each sufferer. More on this study can be found at this link below. Likewise, if you or a loved one are interested in seeing how CBD can treat seasonal anxiety disorder, we have a great place for you to start!
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These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA and are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease.
new reads that i’m super excited about. can’t tell me that all the brilliance we push away, out of sight, that we criminalize, that we isolate, that we dehumanize, that we erase, all the brilliance that lives in the altered states, (or not even necessarily altered— just as they are), that these just-as-necessary realms of consciousness isn’t 🔥, isn’t life force, isn’t a gift for those that are willing to listen and tend to these places, this wisdom.
Altered States of Consciousness: Experiences Out of Time and Self— Marc Wittmann
The Collected Schizophrenias— Esmé Weijun Wang
So just when I thought it couldn't get worse. It did. Cameron came down with the bug. I was still very much knocked down and had to look after the kids solo. Slept on the softa...barely slept. Que Robin at 5.30am puking. Luckily enough that was it for him and he's been fine since. So I then face another day of solo parenting. Cameron has been hit worse than me and still in bed. But I still feel like I've been hit by a train. Right, neck enough pain killers that I have the physical ability to disinfect the house to stop it doing the rounds again. Am slowly realising as I'm scrubbing the house I really am not well enough to be doing so and my back feels broken. Cameron manages to surface for a shower, bed sheet change and take over with the kids so I can shower and lay down for a bit. This has not been a good week.
To rub further salt in the wound, this weekend is the first time since Christmas shifts has allowed us to have more than half a day with all 4 of us together, the weather is glorious so it would have been well spent family time, and I was supposed to be seeing this beaut @trixiemattel
tonight. And of course I am now again behind on training. Gutted doesn't begin to cover it.
I am super a positive person, always reminding myself that it could be worse, and practising graditue. But I saw a post yesterday that said "You don't always have to look for the silver lining, some times it's ok to say when things are shit".
So here is my self pitying admission that things are shit. I'm not going to pretend this hasn't been one of the most trying weeks of parenthood. That I'm ok with loosing out on precious family time. Or that I'm not devastated I won't be crossing another thing off my 30 before 30 list tonight watching one of my favourite drag Queens with one of my best friends. Sometimes life deals you a shit sandwich, and it's fine to admit that you're struggling rather than always thinking there are people who have it tougher, because even though there probably are, right now, in this moment, your shit is significant. So have that cry, that glass of wine, that whole tub of ice cream. Because your feelings are valid.
Here's to a better one next week 🙌🏼
✨ It’s seriously so crazy looking back and seeing how far I’ve come!! I was looking through my journal and stumbled upon this little message to myself from May, “Be proud of yourself! You’ll get there :)” and here I am! I’m so excited to share my story with hopes to inspire others to live their best lives!! Looking back and seeing things like this just validate that I’m on the right path 💞
One step closer everyday.
Communication to veterans like me, and others that we need therapy is like nude grappling with a skunk.
You might win, but it's going to smell terrible, and everyone is only going to look at you awkwardly for moment as they walk away murming something about "I told you so..." 💨🌏🤙