**Competition time!** We could all do with a bit more self care right? Too often we put ourselves last and focus on what we think are negatives. Let's get some positivity going ☺️😍 To win this selfcare pack tag a friend and write a quality you like about them. Enter as many times as you want, one tag per comment. You must be following @emthoughtnz
to enter. New Zealand residents only.
Competition drawn 6th of February, from either Facebook or Instagram- enter on both to double your chance! (Facebook is emthought)
I can't tell you how many seemingly bad things have happened in my life (failing classes, lost jobs, lost relationships, lost money). When I was younger, after something bad happened, I would say to myself, "My whole life is ruined." But here I am today and things are going well. The truth is that we make it through most things in our lives. I've found the key to that is focusing on what I want to accomplish and then taking the necessary steps to do that. And yes, some things do take longer than others and, sometimes, I have to settle. What about you?
Just because I have a certain amount of emotional intelligence now, doesn't mean I'm this super zen person. In fact, I feel like I'm way more dramatic than I used to be since I'm still getting used to those pesky feelings😜
Here's an example what me dealing with overwhelm looks like now:
• Jesse proposes some project, and I notice that I feel overwhelm. • I let myself feel overwhelmed. My stomach may grumble, my chest might get tight. I might tear up. I sit still with all that for a bit. • Jesse says, "What's wrong?" And I go, "NOTHING... ok, not nothing, I'm kind of freaking out, I don't know..." (No, it's not really graceful, but hey - he's seen me in labor, so this is nothing.)
• Jesse pauses and then says, "Ok, so do you think we shouldn't do the thing? Or do you what do you need me to do?"
• I pause. I felt the overwhelm, I voiced it, and it starts to subside. I think about why I feel that way. • I reply, "No, actually - it's fine. I just had an idea of something different in my head, but that actually works." OR "I really don't have time yet." OR "Hmmm, I can do this, but I need your help on that."
• And then... that's it! The thing gets done. Or not done. But there's no resentment, and WE GET TO MOVE ON WITH OUR LIVES. Because I felt and addressed the overwhelm.
As you may have seen my previous post, I used to suppress those feelings, overriding them with huge to-do lists and grit (but really begrudge the task at hand), finishing the project with lingering resentment. So ya, things would get done and I could technically handle the overwhelm (poorly), but the additional resentment would build into anger as the next thing would come along. So yes, this new path still has its challenges (I mean, there's no way to make problems magically go away forever), but I don't get stuck in these feeling loops like I used to. What this path does require is vulnerability, which isn't easy, but I just have to remember that I can be vulnerable with the people I love ❤️