Deciding to wear this costume to the Maroon 5 party on Wednesday took more bravery than it did for me trying out for cheerleading in 8th grade, auditioning for movies and singing at the Grand Ole Opry combined.
Exposing myself in this way was downright terrifying, and in my childlike mind, I could picture a Carrie situation happening - people pointing and laughing at me, a trauma just shy of pigs’ blood at the prom.
I mean, who am I (??) to wear this situation to a HOLLYWOOD party - and, in a town - full of supermodels & fitness models, no less?
What I realize now - FINALLY - at 40, is who am I NOT to?
When Nick decided he would be 80s-era Magnum P.I. (because how could he not be Tom Selleck?), I struggled to think of an 80s female icon who was autonomous like Magnum - a woman not reliant on being a part of a couple.
Sure, there’s Wonder Woman, but well, I’ve done that. So, why not a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader - A woman who both cheers on others AND commands attention, and not at the expense of others.
That sounds like someone else I know.
Excited and nervous, I told my wise, spiritual, insightful nutritionist, Dr.Sheila my plan of how I wanted to get in the best shape I’d been in in years. Her reply, knowing my real life, always filled with eat and drink? “Why would you want to DO that to yourself?” Halloween morning, I woke up & everything in me was screaming - “Don’t do this!! You’ll look foolish! Find another costume!!”
I was scared of wearing something that showed so much skin because, well, I’ve never thought my soft curves & soft belly were something that people wanted to see.
Heck, even my mom hates midriff-baring outfits and doesn’t like anything on me that doesn’t conceal all “the action that’s going on” underneath.
Sadly, like many other girls, I’ve felt the need to apologize for my body more times than I care to recall in this life.
Adolescence scarred by a mean or thoughtless word or two from a father, brother or classmate turns into decades of looking at your body in utter shame & frustration.
It took until last year for me to realize... (continued in comments below)
The other night I wrote about all of the friends in the @Maroon5 #M5Halloween
world who have ended up being so special to me on so many fronts...and, I mentioned a few I’ve worked with.
This is the guy I was thinking of specifically when I referred to someone casting me in their movies.
- the most prolific artist I know and the most kind, generous, thoughtful and FUN writer and director you’ll ever meet.
A few years ago, Jake messaged me saying he had written a part and asking if I knew “someone” who could play it.
It was basically a caricatured version of me. I told him I was in, and he ended up bringing back to life a dream I wasn’t sure I would get to dream again.
Now, 3 years later, we’ve dreamed it together for 4 films and he’s even written parts - and, expanded parts - with me in mind. SWOON.💗 I’ve been in 4 of this dreamboat director’s movies and I am SO friggin’ proud of all he has accomplished.
Many people dream it.
But not many people do it.
And, Jake is the kind of talented soul who dreams it, does it and then looks around him for other dreamers...and helps them DO it, too.
And, maybe it’s because we’re fellow native Texans-turned-Angelenos...
Or, maybe it’s because we’re both Sagittarians...
Or, maybe it’s because we love giving our friends work...
Or, maybe it because we show up in almost-matching Halloween costumes and dance and laugh and have fun all night long...
But, I’m just feeling awfully grateful for Jake tonight - because Jake is the kind of guy who makes me remember the magic of Hollywood I fell in love with as a little 4-year-old girl in Dallas watching the Oscars...and, makes me believe that even my biggest, most unrealistic dreams just might come true.
He’s already made some of those dreams come true for me.📺🎬
Next? I’m crossing my fingers for a musical.🎤😂🎬
*Be sure to swipe for our “Scrubs” video
My Costume Details (because it took a village, y’all):
Costume: @dccheerleaders @amazon
Vintage white fringed boots: @thefineartofdesign @shopelpaseo @visitpalmdesert
eyes & face, @narsissist
So grateful for all of these faces in these photos, and for those who didn’t make the photos, and for the gift that we have thanks to our friends in @Maroon5
who give us one heckuva fun reason to get together each and every Halloween with #M5Halloween
A hybrid of annual reunion-meets costume party-rager, last night was one of my favorites of the past 14 years they’ve been doing this.
As I looked around the party, I realized that I’ve known some of these people for going on 20 years. Some I’ve known for 10. And, some I’ve known for a little less than that.
Some were party acquaintances at the beginning who have now turned into close friends.
A few of them were close friends who have turned into acquaintances over time due to the sheer nature of busy lives.
Some have hired me for roles in films and social media campaigns.
Some I’ve written songs with both long ago and more recently, and played onstage with at Hotel Cafe and The Roxy back when I had a band or when they did.
A couple I’ve dated.
A few I thought I wanted to date.
And, a few asked me out for dates - but turned into much better friends.
And, as I looked around at all of these faces in disguise, the ones I love most can never be disguised because the memory of their faces are forever etched into my mind, with my heart coloring in the rest.
And, now, by the way - so are the songs of the Red Hot Chili Peppers - thanks to my favorite midnight performance by the guys with special guest @tonykanal
California, you forever have my heart for all of these reasons above.💗