Yet again, I pulled cards that speak to me and serve me in a way that allows me to serve others.
This morning I lost my cool with my kids. One kid in particular, but the other one got caught in the fire, too. I was frustrated because it’s an issue we consistently deal with, my patience was non existent, and I yelled. It’s been a long time since I’ve yelled and it felt awful. It rarely accomplishes anything except upsetting more people, which is exactly what it accomplished this morning. It was not a good way to start our day and we all felt it. We all apologized, when it was only me who needed to.
I have had serious mom guilt about it all day. I know it happens, I know little things can add up and compound, and I know we all have our limits. But that doesn’t make me feel better. What makes me feel better is when I am able to step back and not allow it to happen in the first place. I was coming from a place of frustration instead of from a place of love.
And then I drew this card. And the one next to it. And the common theme, the common words: peace.
I needed this reminder to align with love so that peace can not be disrupted.
I can’t wait for those babies to come home from school so I can love on them like they both deserve. Like we all deserve.
I struggle every day with not being able to protect my own kids. I can’t be there when they’re feeling sad or scared. I can’t be there for their happy moments. I can’t kiss them goodnight. I can’t take them to dance lessons or sports. I can’t be there for their first crush or when their hearts get broken. I can ring them every week and leave them messages they never hear. I can go to teacher interviews and find out how they’re doing in school. I can pray for them every night that they are safe and feel loved. I can go to sports days. I can be there when I can as much as I can. I hope that they know deep in their hearts that I love them, that I would do anything for them. When they are happy I am happy even if I can’t be there to share their happiness. I can get as much help and support for myself that I can so that when I do see my kids I can be healthy and strong for them. I can work hard at my beauty biz to make a better future for my kids. I can donate to help the amazing team at @ourrescue to help save kids who have no one else to save them. I can make a difference and I choose to make a difference. This is my story. This is my struggle. I hope that by sharing it I can help at least one other person. You are not alone. You Are Loved. You are important. Your kids need you. Stay strong. Keep fighting. Keep showing up any way that you can. Don’t give up. I pray that one day all parents and children will be reunited. Live with a heart full of love and hope. You are not alone. My kids are my Why. Have a blessed day 💖😘 #beautyboxbydebbie#parentalalienation#maternalalienationistheultimatehatecrime#maternalalienation#childrensrights#staystrong#livewithlove#livewithhope#motivatedbylove#ourrescue#imanabolitionist#opperationundergroundrailroad#reunification#lovewillalwayswin#ilovemykids#mykidsaremylife
"Lean on the silent rock until you feel its divinity
Make your own veins cold, look at the silent stars, let your eyes
Climb the great ladder out of the pit of yourself and man.
Things are beautiful, your love will follow your eyes." -Robinson Jeffers
Deniz kenarı olsun, açık hava olsun, yan masa çığlık atarak konuşmasın, kahve olsun, saçımı oradan oraya savuracak kadar güçlü bir rüzgar olsun, hayal kuralım ve sonra o hayal gerçek olsun. #dream#livewithlove#bluelove
The ☀️ was in our eyes and it was a beautiful day for some football! 🏈 I have to do a shout out to these two little loves! 😊 Mia finished her first flag football season, earning a super cool medal!🏅she was so excited and did a great job through out her season! Ryden and his team have made it to the playoffs! 🙌☺️ how sweet it is to be loved by them! 💙💓 I’m the luckiest auntie! 😚