This picture makes me smile because it is one of the few photos of myself that I didn’t nitpick, deem ugly, and immediately force my boyfriend to take another seven thousand pictures to get it “right”. 🙈
It was my 24th birthday and I was treated to my favorite Spanish restaurant💃🏼. The off-the-shoulder top I’m wearing is something that in the past I never would have worn, but I was feeling confident and decided to take a chance. I probably consumed one too many glasses of sangria🍷and slices of bread🍞, but I didn’t worry about that, nor did I restrict my food the next day to balance out the “bad eating”. Instead I enjoyed dinner with the people I loved without being overly-concerned with how I looked or felt. I hadn’t experienced that in a long, LONG time. .
I used to (and sometimes still do, #letsbehonest
) struggle feeling at peace with myself. I had a deep sense of inadequacy, that affected everything from taking cute couple photos to purposely missing out on life experiences and friendships because I convinced myself I wasn’t good enough, pretty enough or interesting enough, to be worthy of those things. It was exhausting.
This year that’s starting to slowly change. Yes, sometimes I still feel awkward and uncomfortable in my own skin, more than I’d care to admit. But committing to working on myself — my nutrition, my physical well-being, my mental health — has helped other things, like genuine enjoyment and satisfaction with myself and my life, fall into place. I used to think confidence was something you had to be born with. But it’s not. Confidence is a skill. It takes practice, just like muscle, you have to feed it, and work on it. It’s a continual process — a rewarding one. You have to give yourself the opportunity, the chance to grow. It can be scary. If you’re like me, it’s easy to be cynical, but a friend recently reminded me that cynicism sometimes masks fear of failure. And she’s right - I was so afraid to even make the attempt to be slightly more confident or comfortable with myself. But man, I can tell you it is so worth it and rewarding when you just take the leap and just #dothedamnthing #ipreview @preview.app