#imnotokay

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Hi, this was me, windswept and amused by something (possibly my own face) a few days ago. I’m not really sure why I’m posting it. I think it’s because I shy away from selfies. I haven’t done anything to this. But I can see my face is lop-sided and I know that both recently, and longer ago than recently, I have annoyed and even hurt people in different ways. Most unintentionally, but that doesn’t make it better. However, I’m trying really hard to do what I want without worrying about how much it may annoy someone/anyone. And after all this is my page. So here is a picture of me. My face is not symmetrical, I’ve put on weight, I often get spots despite being 40, (when I was 14 my mum told me that would stop at 21). I have more and more grey hairs, one eye seems to always be more closed than the other, if I don’t wear mascara it looks like I don’t have any eyelashes and if I don’t wear blusher or eyeliner I look like I’m ill. I’m chubby, I have rolls of fat all around my body. I don’t have perfectly shaped legs, I am so pale I nearly blind people in the sun. I’m unfit. Some people may say I’m negative, pessimistic, that I’m too open on social media. Maybe they’re right. But I’m starting not to care. I am trying not to care. And I’m getting there. Sometimes I let people down. I say I’ll come to something and then I don’t turn up (usually nights out or large gatherings). But I don’t plan to do that. And sometimes I’ve got dressed to go somewhere (for example a friend’s wedding), been to the hairdressers, been practically ready to leave the house and then been unable to move. I’ve lost friends, been misunderstood, been told I’m vulnerable (and felt embarrassed by this), made silly decisions, pissed people off, made mistakes when I knew they were likely to be mistakes, given too much, not asserted (or been aware that I needed to have) boundaries. I worry too much, care too much about things that don’t matter, want to please people that don’t always deserve it, have allowed myself to be “walked over”, complained and made excuses when I should have just done something differently. But nobody is perfect and I’m quite nice really.😂 Can’t remember the point of this now
Thank you so much for taking such good care of me when I was sick epiex you are so gorgeous and it's always so much fun to spend time with you even if we just PC방ing ㅋㅋ we need to take more selfies so I can upload on this here instagramalam ❤ #StillDying #verysick #imnotokay #best friend #love #thankyou
So the other day I asked a dude if he likes me just bc I kinda like him and idk why but I feel like I won’t get over this until something happens. So yeah that was a really complex answer and he ended up telling me a bunch of personal stuff about him liking this other girl. Long story short he really likes another girl. I mean reallyyyy likes her and it’s kind of a sad story. He literally looked at me after he was done explaining it and he was all teary-eyed. And now I just know that I can’t date him because of her. She’s a really lucky girl and she doesn’t even know it. Lucky because she’s got a guy that into her to the point of him almost crying in class talking about everything that happened. I still like him yes, and he kinda likes me sure, but he really likes her and I’m not about to step in the middle of that. I hope something works out for him. He’s a really cool dude. #secretsociety1234 #dyinginside #whatswrongwithme #sadquotes #sadquote #sad #quotes #quote #imfine #saveme #imnotok #imnotokay #selfharm #sadness #depressing #imnotok #sorry #imnotokay #killme #imfine #followme #saveme #follow #followplease #postivevibes #positivity #positivequote #positivequotes #bepositive #happy
I miss Etsy and I making pins but feel such a need to recreate everything fresh, nothing the same as it once was, so I’m starting to do handdrawn designs. I’m firmly entrenched in post hurricane, apocalyptic life still, 3 months after Hurricane Michael ripped apart my town. Still hearing the “How are you? How is your house?” that has been on repeat for 3 months. We all say we’re okay. “We’re not. No one is okay now. When will be ever be? Hopefully, one day. It’s okay to not be okay. Wear it like a badge. #hurricanemichael #850strong #panhandlestrong #imokay #imnotokay #badge #afterthestorm #survivalmode
that’s all it’s gonna take at this point i’m done😭 i can’t do it anymore, i’m a failure and a disappointment 😭💔 #depressionquotes #depressionedits #icantdothisanymore #ihatemyself #depressedquotes #anxiety #deppression #depressed #heartbroken #broken #iwannadie #sad #imfine #hurtquotes #quotes #anger #numb #scared #fear #hurt #emotional #alone #imnotokay
midterms are gone 🦀 - 🍑 • • • • • • • • #kermitmemes 🐸 #frog #hot #sleep #shut #frog #please #imnotokay
I’M NOT OKKAAAAAAAAAAAAY I’M NOT FUCKING OKAY
When you focus on the pain, pain is all you can feel. Yes, it hurts, sometimes it cuts like a knife that everything around you feels numb. Food tastes nothing, you give smiles just for the sake of people not to ask you why are you upset. You ignore your emotions and you just go on... tears become your best friend, you cry anywhere, EVERYwhere... you just don’t care. Your throat aches from resisting tears, your head hurts from constant pressure. You just feel like shutting down your server (I WISH), but it’s impossible. You don’t want to go home, just not to face the reality and not to sink deeper in the sand, but you go coz there are people waiting for you. You simply go on..... taking a deep breath in, closing your eyes, you feel the blood flowing in your veins, and yes it’s cold but ignore it. This is not the way out. There is more to life than this. But what?!! #justwondering #whatisthis #whatalife #meaningless #cruellife #monjournal #myday #sadday #miserable #whatasadlife #demotivational #quoted #imnotokay #thisislife #iwanttochange #trapped #sinkingdeep #havetomoveon
Sometimes I just feel so small. All of these things that are in my head, I know deep down they’re not true but I can’t help but believe them. #imfine #imdyinginside #imnotokay #ugly #fat #helpme #worthless
i wanna cry. i wanna scream. i wanna cut. i wanna die. but i can’t because i’m fine. - - - - i hate my school. i really just want someone to come and talk to me and care about me and hug me but that’s impossible cause nobody cares😭😭💔 #depressionquotes #depressionedits #icantdothisanymore #ihatemyself #depressedquotes #anxiety #deppression #depressed #heartbroken #broken #iwannadie #sad #imfine #hurtquotes #quotes #anger #numb #scared #fear #hurt #emotional #alone #imnotokay
My life with #Anxiety 😱🙊 #TheStruggleIsReal #ImOkay / #ImNotOkay
No matter what I do, I'll never be enough. The cognitive issues with #complexregionalpainsyndrome (#brainfog type #confusion and #forgetfulness ) on top of #anxiety / #panicattacks means I will always be letting someone down, not understanding well enough, or not explaining myself properly. I just want to be good enough, and I just want to be loved. #girlswithpiercings #girlswhokissgirls #girlswithtattoos #girlswhowearglasses #crps #cognitiveissues #cognitivedeficits #pnes #carpaltunnel #pepticulcerdisease #asthma #cervicalspinalstenosis #chronicpain #inthebelljar #imnotokay #depression #generalizedanxietydisorder #atypicalpanicattacks #borderline #dumpsterfire #medsarentworking #ineedhealthinsurance #iNeedTherapy
my reaction ⅕♡ #bigplans ~ this is absolutely one of the best songs they've ever made. like you can definitely tell how much time and effort they put into this. the beats are so put together and its just so incredible im in loveeee 💕 ~ __________________ @jonahmarais @whydontwemusic @seaveydaniel @imzachherron @jackaverymusic @corbynbesson #wdwboys #wdwmemes #wdwstyle #whydontweedits #seaveydaniel #zachherron #reaction #jonahmarais #corbynbesson #jackavery #whydontwe #bigplansreaction #ohmygod #omgpage #imnotokay #bigplans tag them?
silly feeling 😏😂 #imokay #imnotokay #justpostin #currentmood
1 hour till it comes out for me!!!!!!! FCKKKKK IM NOT FUNCTIONING ATM😰😰😰😰😰 #bigplans #imnotokay #whydontmotherfuckingwe #whydontwe #whydontwemusic #jackavery #jonahmarais #danielseavey #zachherron #corbynbesson #prayforme #limelights #frick #ily
i hate myself. i hate myself. i hate myself. i hate myself. i hate myself. i hate myself. i hate myself. i hate myself. i hate myself. i hate myself. i hate myself. i hate myself. i just wanna curl up into a ball and disappear 💔😭 i hate my life so much #depressionquotes #depressionedits #icantdothisanymore #ihatemyself #depressedquotes #anxiety #deppression #depressed #heartbroken #broken #iwannadie #sad #imfine #hurtquotes #quotes #anger #numb #scared #fear #hurt #emotional #alone #imnotokay
I drove off into the sunset alone once again realizing they were only pretenders not my real friends~beamerdemon~ . . . . #friendshipquotes #friendship #friend #fakefriends #hurt #kms #killme #aesthetic #aestheticquotes #noonecares #sliceme #depressionquotes #depressionquotes #ripoutmyheart #imnotokay #dying
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