I almost didn’t go through with this challenge..I dedicated a good chunk of time to my response for today’s prompt only to lose it all in the end. . . I am currently recognizing a few patterns and emotional responses due to this. Perfect. I should also mention my daughter is 9 months old today! What a blessing and wow this mom thing is no joke. No doubt about it I am experiencing major discomfort on a mental and physical level in this moment. Oh yeah and I have to be up in 6 hours... I really asked for it...
Anyway, on with the prompt for #Day1
and yet another collection of my thoughts for my response. I’ll try to keep it short & sweet although there’s not much sweetness to this type of work.
What’s in YOUR basket and how did it influence your identity? AND what needs to be taken out of the basket or evaluated to see if it’s there “just because” or if you’re actually claiming it with intention?
What's in my basket you ask?
I got some love & some fear
struggle & hard work
compliance & aggression with a little bit of emotional instability
lack of dedication & concentration in some areas..ill-defined on the imperative aspects of life, the things we cannot see...
the best things in life, right? ... As far as I can remember, my grandma was always there when I was very young. She is one of my guardian angels and she was my biggest influence growing up. Through the creation of her life, I witnessed; joy, hard work, patience, selflessness, forgiveness, devotion, humility, vulnerability & unconditional love. Along with that came tirelessness, disappointment, sadness, illness and a side of fear. Fear of death, fear of the Unknown, devotion with fear... Through her I learned some Christianity.. and through that I uncovered the fear of hell and I felt fearful every time I thought about the concept of FOREVER. My mind couldn’t grasp it. I hated thinking about dying because it always came with feeling uneasy.
I used to be so scared of “the end of the world”, which I now realize may be a big reason why I tend to get distracted by diving into certain fear-based theories or conspiracies that I come across.