By now, most of you know some of how my upbringing was. I was born into and raised within an extreme, Christian, sex-cult called The Children of God, or The Family, until the age of 6 when I remember escaping in the night with my biological parents and 7 out of 8 siblings.
While in the cult, we were taught to be extremely fearful and on edge. There were “drills” to be on guard for 24/7, where we would have a bag ready to go, knowledge of the car to go to, and our superiors (due to a power hierarchy) would know which “safe houses” to lead us to. For punishments they would lock me in the closet to memorize the bible, beat me with wooden boards, wire hangers, belts, and “wash my mouth out with soap” which in their version meant brushing my teeth with said soap.
Mentally, we were constantly poked and prodded with stories and lessons of #Armageddon
; the world was always coming to an end soon and we were training to be “Gods” warriors of spreading “His” love through sex, abuse, and brainwash.
While growing wiser after adapting to this sometimes equally stimulating outside world, I dove into studies such as world religions, world music and dance, philosophy, and behavioral health. I began my curiosity down a road of what is recorded and considered our history, and how God and religion came about in our species. Through diligent work on myself while diving into credible “facts” alongside meditating on my own intuition I have found that the teachings, the stories and the metaphors, the powerful messages and lessons in the bible are, to me, man-made and open for interpretation. I am also passionate about equality, individualism, and acceptance. Having to memorize the bible for the beginning years of my life allowed me to adopt beautiful metaphors and sayings, while also observing the obvious sexism, racism, and homophobia. There was little acceptance of all, to me. So, I dove into other ways of interpreting this Deity people refer to by saying “God”. It wasn’t until my dad’s suicide in 2016, however, (the beginning of my Saturn Return) that I was forced to my knee’s to wonder where my dad’s #soulenergy
had gone. It plagued my mind, needing to understand the occult.🔽