304 posts

My Mantra Meditation 🙏🏻🧘‍♀️📿🧘‍♂️ ———————————————————————— A couple of days ago I was sitting with the back sliding door open as the pups came in and out of the house while I was attempting some writing for my novel. As I was focused on my laptop, I heard the strangest sound mimicking what seemed like perhaps some vigorous puppy shaking or scratching of the ears. Following the very uncomfortable and curious noise up towards the light, I saw the most massive Dragonfly I had ever seen — and I have lived in #CostaRica ! It was the most beautiful metallic blue and was fixated on the dining room chandelier light. At first, I was a bit freaked out due to how it could fly up towards the very high ceilings in the house and I wouldn’t be able to free it. So I grabbed a cup, and quickly guided it out of the sliding door. This unique happening was extremely meaningful, to me. Dragonfly’s that enter your home are symbolic of change through transformation, adaptability, joy and lightness of being, being on the lookout for illusions & deceits -whether external or personal, & connection with natures spirits, the fairies realm🧚🏻‍♀️ It was the #DevineFeminine speaking to me and through me - reminding me to let love gravitate to me as I continue this journey towards lightness & emotional flexibility in this challenging time of evolution. #iahsay 🐉🌾✨🌬🍃🙏🏻 #bejuststrong #emotionalintelligence #coloradoliving #evolution #evolving #coloradowildlife #signalsfromsaturn #mentalhealthblogger #recoveryispossible #selfcare #thursdayvibes #symbols #divinefeminine #divinefeminineenergy #signsfromtheuniverse #DevineMother #mantra #meditation #meditationheals
The ingredients that make us are not always the sweetest, yet every component contributes to the #masterpiece that is you. ———————————————————————— Strength is so much more than this physical vessel. A #truewarrior recognizes that. ———————————————————————— So, what ingredient is your #strength ? Be it #unconditionallove , never giving up the fight towards wholistic health, or simply your amazing drive to reach your #higherself ; What makes YOU a WARRIOR? ❓⁉️❓⁉️ 💪🏻💪🏼💪🏽💪🏾💪🏿 📸 by my talented friend @r2digitalimages <— Go check out his work, he’s an incredible human and friend!! 💜 #iahsay #recoverywarriors #warriorstrong #bejuststrong #bejuststrongambassador #bejuststrongteam #loveistheanswer #instagood #love #picoftheday
What is pain if not a teacher towards strength? To that matter; What is strength? 🐛🦋———————————————————————— As a woman who has been through much abuse and has seen so much cruelty in the world, specifically towards girls & women in the cult, I was never taught what strength was nor shown a loving example of what to model after. I was under the false assumption that strength was endurance of continuous suffering while still being neutral and kind to others. I thought that strength meant being tough and not being too emotional or vulnerable, especially around men. It meant getting over it when men stared at this body that I never saw as anything special, & to always put on a “brave face” at times when I just wanted to crumble. Embracing being a woman has been one of my largest challenges in life. I was shown and taught that women are weak, malleable, and used as tools for the betterment of males in this world. I absolutely hated everything about being a woman and saw very little of what I thought was femininity within myself, after all that I had been through. I often dressed more like a male wearing baggy clothes and hardly bathed out of depression & so as to be less attractive. As I have healed, however, I realize I have accepted beliefs for a different, more loving truth; Which is that women are not only beautiful creatures, we also hold certain facets of strength that are beyond impressive. Now, embracing the indescribable #DevineFeminine that flows through us all, I am happy to announce that I will be contributing to and representing a beautiful company called Just Strong, for women 💪🏻@bejuststrong . I’m honored to be a part of a cause that supports women to find their strength and share it with others 💓💪🏻🦋 As a new #juststrongambassador here is my code to use for your 10% discount - SHASEITZ10 😘 “The pain you feel today, is the strength you have tomorrow” 🙌🏻 📸 by @mrlewis82 🙏🏻 models @officialkennyware & @jayajordan #iahsay #juststrong #juststrongclothing #juststrongteam #juststrongwomen #cpstd #love #instagood #picoftheday #dancemodel #dancer #selfnurture #womanstrong #recoverywarrior #recoveryispossible #recoveryisworthit #beingawoman #flywithme #letsfly
There is a lot of foggy, dark space in my memory. Everyday I run into triggers that I can pin point and recognize as understandable. Sometimes, however, there is #rage , #loneliness , #disassociation , or #avoidance that shows up within me and although I may have no understanding as to why I’m feeling or reacting these ways, I know now how to find a nurturing space & get back to center much quicker than before. Memories are so tricky. When I was 15, I wanted nothing to do with “drugs” or anything that could make my future life even more of a challenge. The one attraction was something I had heard would help my chronic vomiting and #nausea , #insomnia , #severepain throughout my body, and - one of it’s biggest appeals to me at the time - it actually gives you #memoryloss . At 15, I wanted nothing more than to not remember anything that had happened to me while growing up. In my teenager mind I thought, “if I can forget, I can make my own beginning.” What I didn’t realize at the time was cannabis gives short-term memory loss, not long term — Keep in mind, I was not allowed a cell phone nor computer so I wasn’t able to do certain research. Here’s the kicker, though; I wasn’t exactly aware of how I had already developed a way to automatically block out memories as they are remembered and/or created! This way of processes and coping while enduring so much sexual, emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual abuse by my parents and strangers in different states and countries is a very normal thing to do when you come from extreme and complex trauma, like I do. So a lot of my #childhoodmemories , if I can even remember them, are not exactly clear, to me. Memories are so special, they’re what helps us hold onto where, what and who shaped us — and how. Yet what‘s interesting is how people can share a memory and have multiple perspectives that are completely different from one another. In the process of working on this automatic blocking, I am also observing people’s way of retaining memories as I talk with and counsel those that come to me. So I ask, openly; how do you distort your lightest and darkest memories? #iahsay #suicidelosssurvivor #bpd
Surrender & Reflect🙏🏻 It is the bittersweet path home - back to Source, towards your Starâœ¨ğŸ”ŽğŸ’™ ———————————————————————— It’s not only unnecessary to understand or control others actions, it’s also not productive nor truly possible. What I’ve learned about abandonment from others is to focus on love for yourself, not resentment towards them. Release the gossip, the stories, the victim thoughts, and the energy that just isn’t working towards your higher self. This energy that feeds the hate and the cruelty..it hurts worse than just the pain of loss in itself. To surrender means to allow the emotions of loss to be felt, allow the pain of feeling abandoned to be there, REFLECT on where your opportunity for responsibility could be, and then release it to universe, trust, and believe it works for your benefit 🙏🏻💓 ———————————————————————— “Let your fears go... you might find your way back home” 🙏🏻 #Sunlounger 🌊✨🌊✨🌊✨🌊✨🌊 📸 by the #artist and my friend, Michel Sarda 💜 #iahsay #Namaste #Iamhealing #thehealingprocess #iam #iamthatiam #nomakeupneeded #allnatural #naturalhair #mirrorwork #mirrors #abandonment #abandoned #abandonment_issues #abandonmentissues #trauma #recoverywarriors #recoverywarrior #complextrauma #cptsd #worldsuicidepreventionday #suicidelosssurvivor
“What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly.“ #RichardBach 🐛🦋🖤 ———————————————————————— After much needed reflection these past few days, I have decided to begin writing my book 🙏🏻✨🖤 This will be one of my most challenging productions as I will have to relive parts of my life that I wish to not dwell on. As I continue facing these traumas head on via numerous trauma therapies derivative from ancient knowledge and practices I am feeling yet another personal shift during this, my first #SaturnReturn 🌑💫 I see my fears as teachers for the insanity I have potential to repeat. From relationships, to careers, to home-life; I understand the courage needed to face these fears while summoning the peace of heart I truly deserve 💓 If there is any part of my story that you would like to know about or hear more about, please lmk privately or leave your comment here! ⬇️ Thank you all for your love and support - it means more than I can express🙏🏻 #iahsay 📸 by the beautiful artist, Michel Sarda 💓 #iamdeserving #mybook #writingtherapy #theraputic #writetoheal #thursdaytruth #thursdaythoughts #thursdaymotivation #thursdayvibes #lifestylemodel #somaticexperiencing #recoverywarrior #womenwarriors #transformationinprogress #butterflyrevolution #nomakeup #nomakeupneeded #modeling #selfmade #selfmademodel #writingabook #love
When patterns are revealed, find the courage to silence them & allow stillness to speak. Our knowings know all 💜 Ask the right questions, be specific, and - perhaps most importantly - face your fears. Evolution happens through pain, work, endless love for yourself, and real practice of awareness around the mindset of “unreal other”. I have been offered so much practice to reveal parts of myself that I wasn’t aware of, these last couple of weeks. I am grateful for the lessons I have been gifted, the constant love and support from loved ones, and am excited to meet this future self that I am becoming 🐛🦋🥀🌹 #iahsay #writerscommunity #soultravel #innerchildhealing #stillness 📸 by my dear friend, the amazing @johnkeehn 💓 #thursdaythoughts #thursdaymotivation #tbt #thursdaytherapy #sheisawriter
Nurturing my 2.6% #Iberian roots! ğŸ’ƒğŸ»ğŸ•ºğŸ»ğŸŽ‡ As I bid #Arizona farewell, we all are also saying goodbye to #MooninTaurus and welcoming the scattered-mind energy of #MooninGemini 🌗💛 Since my #AriesMoon is opposite #Taurus , this last week has been a highly uncomfortable, #Earthy energy for my #Firey mind. This is a space and time of practicing not letting “stories” hijack my mind, staying grounded in my processing of information, and sticking with the integrity I carry when it comes to compassion for this self, other souls, and really practice the awareness of “unreal othering”, as taught by the amazing #TaraBrach 💜 My #ascendant 🌄 AND Sun ☀️ are in #Scorpio 🦂🐍🦅🌊. So, my inclinations are mostly towards solitude, deep & mysterious practices, research, breaking things down, and diving into the deepest, darkest waters there are! However, my MIND, my Moon🌕, is the firey-free flyer, #Aries 🔥☄️🌪⚡️! This shot was taken on location with the beautiful soul from #Paris known as Michel Sarda, in #ScottsdaleAz 🔥 A perfect setting to let my Firey-Freak-Flag-Fly as I do some #barefoot , #salsadancing on the scorching, #fire hot #ground 💫 See what I did there? 😜 #iahsay #grounding #freakflagfly #arizonafalls #laborday #mondaymadness #somaticexperiencing #cptsd #selfcare #complextrauma #nomakeup #nomakeupneeded
So many challenging memories and thoughts show up while here in Arizona. It’s a constant practice of courage, inner strength, and self-love to be here. Although I have some background in #ballroomdance , I struggle with my gifts because of certain memories attached. I haven’t spoken up much about this due to how traumatic it is for me to talk about it and also underlying fear of retaliation. Yet this is my truth, and my knowing wants to be heard. So here is the summary: On December 2-3rd, 2012 I was attacked by my ex and almost murdered... it was my 25th birthday. Amongst other things, he was a ballroom instructor. To add insult to injury, this person invaded my privacy by recording me in compromised positions without my permission. He then proceeded to post these pictures and videos on various websites while stalking, harassing, and continuously threatening me and my loved ones; most of which took place here in Arizona. This is one of the most difficult topics to share due to numerous variables; one being that his, and his wife’s, threats and harassment towards me and my loved ones have yet to completely cease — 6 years later. 🧘🏻‍♀️📿 This shot is from a #photoshoot that I did this week done with an amazing soul that is the artist, Michel Sarda💜Although a challenging time while here, I just love how my friend Michel was able to spark and capture a side of me that was, in itself, a dance of majesty and a soul-song of darkness 🖤 Thank you🙏🏻🐛🦋 ———————————————————————— ✨Take Flight✨ When flight is the only true portal to core.. take it. Whisk this identity to create a “me” that fits. There’s no matter worthy of missing the tireless sea that is glee. So let it just be. Dance joyously without the nerves of being seen. Emerge, free, after much needed cocooning and spooning of inner youth. The inner child and yearning root; released from the healing solitude due to all that are simply flying along this curious rout of loyal troops. #iahsay #dancefree #innerchildhealing #bornfree #iamnotmypast #fridayfeels #fridayfunday #fridaymood #friday #fridayvibes #cyberbullying #revengeporn #cyberstalking #violentcrimes #artistsoninstagram #somaticexperiencing #nomakeup
With so much uncertainty in everyday living, we as humans tend to grasp at what we CAN feel certain about. It’s survival to use reasoning as a way to decipher what works for a sort of positive motioning forwards. We habitually force-feed positive thinking without true authenticity behind the thoughts we’d prefer and then find ourselves resentful that thinking positively simply “doesn’t work”. What if, instead, we were to embrace the negative feelings and fears? 😳 What if eliminating them is NOT the goal? What if staying with these feelings, these “negative” emotions of discomfort is why they surface in the first place? What if what we attempt to shove down are just signals to pay attention? What if we embraced every emotion that surfaced, not solely the ones we like or have less critical judgement on..? What if we simply let the emotion move while we stay with the energy in motion, allowing the withdraws to take place, and being with whatever shows up...? This is how I have healed and continue to heal myself. This is how we raise our frequency, heal our ailments, and feed our souls. 💓🙏🏻✨ There is no good nor bad, right nor wrong — there is only what works, and what doen’t work. Let’s live in all of the shades of grey, together 💜 #iahsay 📸 by @rickybobby_0026 #howtohealthy #healingthroughwriting #frequency #vibrations #connectedness #weareone #raiseyourvibration
By now, most of you know some of how my upbringing was. I was born into and raised within an extreme, Christian, sex-cult called The Children of God, or The Family, until the age of 6 when I remember escaping in the night with my biological parents and 7 out of 8 siblings. While in the cult, we were taught to be extremely fearful and on edge. There were “drills” to be on guard for 24/7, where we would have a bag ready to go, knowledge of the car to go to, and our superiors (due to a power hierarchy) would know which “safe houses” to lead us to. For punishments they would lock me in the closet to memorize the bible, beat me with wooden boards, wire hangers, belts, and “wash my mouth out with soap” which in their version meant brushing my teeth with said soap. Mentally, we were constantly poked and prodded with stories and lessons of #Armageddon ; the world was always coming to an end soon and we were training to be “Gods” warriors of spreading “His” love through sex, abuse, and brainwash. While growing wiser after adapting to this sometimes equally stimulating outside world, I dove into studies such as world religions, world music and dance, philosophy, and behavioral health. I began my curiosity down a road of what is recorded and considered our history, and how God and religion came about in our species. Through diligent work on myself while diving into credible “facts” alongside meditating on my own intuition I have found that the teachings, the stories and the metaphors, the powerful messages and lessons in the bible are, to me, man-made and open for interpretation. I am also passionate about equality, individualism, and acceptance. Having to memorize the bible for the beginning years of my life allowed me to adopt beautiful metaphors and sayings, while also observing the obvious sexism, racism, and homophobia. There was little acceptance of all, to me. So, I dove into other ways of interpreting this Deity people refer to by saying “God”. It wasn’t until my dad’s suicide in 2016, however, (the beginning of my Saturn Return) that I was forced to my knee’s to wonder where my dad’s #soulenergy had gone. It plagued my mind, needing to understand the occult.🔽
What does it mean to have a healthy ego? 📿🧘🏼‍♀️🕴🏻 We all have this idea, this boxed in story of what ego means to us. What we’ve been taught it means to have an ego influences our opinion on how it works or doesn’t work in our lives, personally and individually. Without a healthy flow of ego one would not eat, sleep, care for or love oneself on this plane of existence. This body vessel would be neglected and abused by the self therefore making personal happiness nearly impossible because without self-esteem and self-importance, one loses interest in self-care. On the more recognizable side of this discussion; When one has a sense of self-importance that hovers ABOVE other’s importance and roles on this Earth, that is another extreme example of the other end of an unhealthy ego. In this picture, I’m with a friend who has been seen in movies like #AnnaandtheKing , #WildWildWest , #Crank , and more, and has been on Tv Shows such as #CelebrityRehab ; Miss Bai Ling @iambailing 🙏🏻 She and I have ran into each other at so many #ComicCons and events like #TheInternationalFilmFestival in #SanDiego . My seemingly “lavish” life throughout my 20’s grabbed the attention of so many who had labeled me too broken to “succeed”. I flew all over the country to model as an #independentartist , met so many #Hollywood stars at huge events from all over the world, attended prestige parties and ate 6 course meals while making amazing money. Whats interesting about all of this, to me, is that in these moments of seeming the most successful and happy I was actually extremely challenged in my morals, health, and status in life. In other words; my ego was very unhealthy — yet I was praised by family and strangers, for the first time in my life. At this point, I was 25 & had graduated 2 years early from high school while 17 years old and very sick, was on the verge of 4 degree’s, and living as a single woman in her own apartment juggling the #modelingcareer of a few girls that I managed. Yet, it was due to the image oriented pictures and “friendships” that other’s saw online that other’s instantly viewed as “successful”. So.... what is ego and success, to YOU? #iahsay #ego #selflove
When we accept those whom reach out to rid themselves of what they’re holding onto & wanting to release; When we care for the ones that maybe feel seperate from ourselves; When we have no more excuses to ignore the pain they cannot ease; When we stand up for those no longer standing, instead of speaking our selfish tales; It’s in this space that we can create the love that is but a vision to those suffering & in need of revisions. And to every one of us who stand idly by... That could be you, or that could be I. So let’s not cry nor deny this world that we rely on; This wondrous place to gaze into star ponds. Yet don’t be fooled, we are here to awaken. ..one is a blindsided tool in the eyes of the self-forsaken whom refuse to know the debate within, deep below: It’s not just what you sow or the feeling of hunger that pulls... it’s saying and pretending we don’t know, that giving to the hungry is how one becomes full. #iahsay 🤘✌🏽🖖🏻🤟🏼🤙🏾🙏🏻🙌 Join me in my movement towards human acceptance on the closed “i am human | so are you” Facebook Group at https://m.facebook.com/groups/254394751669388 📸 by my dear friend @r2digitalimages ✊🏿 #mondaymotivation #mindfulmonday #cause #change #nonprofit #dogood #fairtrade #giveback #humanrights #mdg #impact #peace #sustainability #equality #thatbirdhasmywings #blacklivesmatter #alllivesmatter #complextrauma #humanity #cultsurvivor #socialactivism #advocacy #campaign #bringbackourgirls #yemeninquirynow #iloveyouchina #308removed #endometriosis #mindfulnessmatters
My Vulnerable Truth 💙💛🧡 #iahsay ________________________________________ Maybe it’s the energy of the craziness in the current Cosmos, maybe it’s something else... I simply felt like sharing a part of my soul 🖤 I’ve been feeling the weight of a heavy heart, missing my dad and releasing the vibration of guilt. Losing him to suicide just provokes thoughts of how lonely he must have felt in his last moments.. how he didn’t think he could reach out to me when he had always come to me while low, at least within those last few years. Our relationship was so complicated and most can’t begin to understand but, he taught me so much. Through trial and error, heartfelt love and horrific conditions, and all that was in between; he did his best. #ChronicPain with no solutions can drive anyone into the experience of hopelessness, I understand that. Three and 1/2 years of suffering through his #traumarecovery of a near fatal car wreck at 62 and no chance of walking normally again was too much to bare.. I get it. He had been through so much confusion and torture in his life that I suppose I just wish he didn’t have to leave me in such a violent way. Unfortunately, though, he didn’t survive his second #SaturnReturn .Not many of us have great memories growing up with him because he was violent towards us kids many a time, shut off from us a lot, and just not emotionally very stable most of his life. I don’t blame him, I know our past, heard what he went through, and saw how much he fought to be the best dad he knew how to be. These are not my excuses for his behavior, just compassion for a loving yet lost soul. ———————————————— And so; I release and surrender to what is & fill my heart with a new song for this sad bird to sing. Because, in the end, “that bird has my wings” 🖤🕊🕉 #iloveyoudad #suicidesurvivor #suicideloss #mytruth #butterflykisses #thursdaymorning #thursdaythoughts #thursdaytruth #writerscommunity #writerslife #soulwriting #poetrylovers #poetry_addicts #haikustairs #haiku #vulnerabilityisstrength #vulnerability #thatbirdhasmywings #jarvisjaymasters #artist #bouldercolorado #boulderart #coloradomodel #artmodel #boulderart #daddyslittlegirl #boulderphotographer
Lena thinks she’s a people so she’s real excited about my new flowy and super soft #iahsay shirt 🐒 I created this campaign to promote true love and acceptance of all human beings ✨ 💓🙏🏻 To accept this life, this chaotic world around us, we must first find self-acceptance. Self-acceptance leads to general acceptance which in turn leads to less unnecessary chaos. What is true acceptance and love, to YOU? I’d love to hear your perspective! ✍🏻 ————————————————— P.S. You can find all sorts of ‘iahsay’ clothing, shoes, and hat options for spring, summer, & winter for men, women, and kiddos at www.zazzle.com/s/essensha 🦋 Join me in my cause towards hope, harmony, and joy on this beautiful planet ✨🖖🏻🤙🏻✌🏻 #chihuahualove #wearefamily #shesmyrock #iahsaymovement #disconnection #unrealother #whateverwednesday
In honor of the longest lunar eclipse/blood moon of the century, the moon entering Aquarius - and now Pisces, this amazing planetary alignment, and Mercury Retrograde - all in these last two weeks 🌑🔥🌙 Can you feel it? #iahsay #Artist • @_kc_art - #Model • (me) @shareinnsaei #longestlunareclipse #lunareclipse #lunareclipse2018 #bloodmoon #mooninAquarius #planetaryalignment #mercuryretrograde #astronomy #mothermoon #spiritualwriter #spiritualwriting #spiritualpoetry #poetryofig #poetsofinstagram #poetry #poetrybyme #painter #painted #collaborativeart
Sisterhood has been an extremely foreign and challenging concept to grasp having been born into an environment where every person I met was my sister, brother, aunt, uncle, and cousin, until we left the cult when I was 6. Afterwards, my 6 sisters and me were so traumatized and damaged from the abuse we had endured, and continued to endure from our very confused and disturbed parents, that we had serious struggles with words like “family”, “love”, and many notions that had to do with being a woman; including sisterhood. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I thought this woman was going to be like family.. like a sister. The universe has an interesting way of creating lessons, however! And I am grateful for what she represented for my growth 💓🙏🏻 #iahsay
My body image insecurities started very young. Between the abuse I endured and the 6 sisters to compare to + no guidance for how to love who I was, I fell into one mindset after another that set me up for destructive behavior. Often times we do our best to morph our bodies and faces into what we believe looks “better”. This idea that to wear a bra, paint the face, and heighten the body to elongate the legs to seem more attractive or confident is not supportive of positive evolution, much less personal development. Yet, just about all of us sign up for this daily life. It took me losing my dad to shatter this part of my ego, completely, so that I may see which pieces still work for me — and which do not anymore. Life is so different for me, now. My beautiful soulmate and me believe I actually look better with #nomakeup or heals - and he certainly doesn’t mind #nobra 😁 But whats more important than my partner’s love of this body, this vessel, is the acceptance of who I am as a whole 🙌🏻🤲🏻👐🏻 _________________________________________ Everyday I continue to work towards the love of this vessel that pains me & limits me - so as to teach me how to evolve my mind and soul. I question what is feminine & masculine and learn the true balancing of energies through struggle and personal knowing. And I take leaps. Leaps of hope towards “what is possible” for this life, this vessel, this being to manifest into creation🙏🏻 ————————————————— Mindsets that assisted survival when young are such challenges to break when they don’t work anymore. One of the best starts I was gifted was a gift of #TheFourAgreements 🙏🏻✨💜 #EmotionalIntelligence work makes all the difference from living with the thoughts that no longer serve you, to simply observing them - without critical judgement and unnecessary stress. #iahsay ————————————————— #iahsaymovement #bodyimage #mindfulmonday #mondayfeels #mondaymotivation #mondaymood #healing #stepbystep #mondaywisdom
Since my late dad’s birthday on the 19th I have been having the most intense and beautiful conversations with such powerful women @mjayr_ , @srndpt , and fellow 2nd generation X sex cult members @dawnwatsonoficial and 1st generation @amy.bril72 📿 I feel honored to have been able to connect with these women while more and more hear my story and reach out to connect with me 🙏🏻 (see podcastğŸŽ™ link via bio) On the flip side, I also had a woman reach out to me that was less than supportive. It was extra discouraging considering she was also a second generation adult (SGA) of the sex cult I was born into, The Children of God. It seems she has written a few books about her story and even has a Facebook following where she talks a lot about getting justice and posts news videos and clips while following updates on the cult, internationally. She seemed extremely fearful that I was not producing solid facts about the cult while finding my voice and speaking my truth in my interview. I was so upset at the fact that she felt the need to borate me out of sheer fear of retaliation from the cult that I reached out to my dear friend Dawn Watson, as I was sure she had dealt with this before. She explained that there was a whole community that had band together to disapprove her truth and claim she was a liar. I was also told that there are people who are haters towards X members coming out and not speaking the way these people would prefer and was encouraged by Dawn to hold onto my voice. This absolutely blew my mind and gave me a new perspective on those who identify with being a victim and how limiting that is for wholistic growth. After what felt like reading a novel of a lecture I responded simply with “have a beautiful day, _____”.... and left it at that 💓 #iahsay #womenwarriors #sundaytruth #speakyourtruth #findyourvoice #ignorethehaters #ivecomealongway
Balance is immovable. If tipped, balance is no more✨ When it seems out of reach to completely balance out your life in challenging situations — instead, search for Harmony💫 What DOES work, right now? The more and more people chose #Pronoia and believe there is harmony in all things, NOW - currently - as they are... the sooner we will observe a shift towards #peaceonearth ğŸ™ğŸ»ğŸŒŽğŸŒğŸŒ ______________________________________ If you awaken this illusion, and you understand that black implies white, self implies other, life implies death, — or shall I say, death implies life... you can ....FEEL yourself. 🕴🏻🧘🏼‍♀️ ______________________________________ > Happy Birthday, Dadda. I hope you are partying with your buds in the #Cosmos 🙏🏻 #RIPdaddy #happybirthdaydad ✨ #suicideloss ————————————————— 📸 by @rickybobby_0026 #iahsay #Killigrew #ekapadapranamasana #yogapose #yogabeginner #harmony #throwbackthursday #tbt
@shareinnsaei - “This has been a really challenging experience for me. Sharing my truth has been something I was taught not to do through manipulation and control within the cult, to the many difficulties after entering society, and then the fear of what it could mean for those I love. I truly hope there are people who can benefit from hearing my personal testimony of challenge, loss, heartache, trauma, survival, recovery, and true love 🙏🏻 —————————— Host @pmb5 of @becominglegendarypodcast talks with me about topics from the expectations of women having children, to the positives of the current #millennial mind! Thank you for sharing in this, my human experience” 💜 • • #iahsay #iahsaymovement #essensha #becominglegendary #cultlife #mytruth #podcast #podcastinterview #myinterview #cptsd #complextrauma #complexptsd #bpd #bpdrecovery #borderline #borderlinepersonality #cultlife #excult #sexualabuse #emotionalabuse #physicalabuse #mentalabuse #domesticviolence #appleitunes #traumarecovery #traumatized #traumainformed #thefloweroflife #sacredgeometry
Well, it’s here 🧘🏼‍♀️ The link where I talk about my life and how being born into one of the most dangerous cults on earth was for me, what it was like living in #CostaRica due to the Y2K crisis, how I was almost murdered on my 25th birthday by an abusive and popular ex, my struggles in the image industry, how my dad’s suicide affected me in 2016, the medicinal controversy of cannabis, and much more 💓 Host @pmb5 of @becominglegendarypodcast | a @vibetality #podcast talks with me about topics from the expectations of women having children, to the positives of the current millennial mind, and I mention my friendship with the stunning @dawnwatsonoficial ! Thank you for sharing in my human experience 💜 > see link in bio < #iahsay #iahsaymovement #becominglegendary #cultlife #mytruth #mylife #mystory #myjourney #womenwarriors #lifeisajourney #cptsdrecovery #cptsd #recoverywarrior #recoveryisworthit #podcastinterview #podcastersofinstagram #mindfulmonday #mondaymotivation #mindfulness #mindfulnessmonday #domesticviolence #sexualabuse #spiritualabuse #emotionalabuse #physicalabuse #mentalabuse #personalgrowth
Ego is a necessary part of survival however many of us are confused on how to balance our own, healthily, within our lives. Yet, if we allow a sort of shattering practice to occur; we practice giving of material needs and desires, instead of receiving them - we become someone of service and contribution in a loving way - & we strive towards radical compassion and acceptance of what we don’t understand in others —This is the practice towards your personal power 💪🏻 #iahsay #practice #ego #harmonyoflight #femininemasculinebalance #survivor #suicideloss #fridayfeels #happyfridaythe13th
I am a Warrior — a Wonder Woman whose asylum is within her own being. I am a bruised goddess in the midst of war between fear and love. Grains of sand hold these hands as we walk, together, through the valley of deserted lands.. _______________________________________________________ Strength can be defined in unlimited ways. Varying per person, strength is what you believe it is. To me, to be strong is to be a pillar for yourself, and then for others, in times of chaos and suffering. It is to never stop the uncomfortable growth that occurs when vulnerability of your true self is allowed. Strength is having a knowing of the difference between an unhealthy self-sacrifice, and lovingly being of service 🙏🏻 _______________________________________________________ Remain as You Are ———————————————————————— In this moment, I want you to just be aware of the presence of this body, and the naturalness and simplicity of this awareness. It is just here. Close your eyes and listen. Ease your restless mind and feel the sweetest surrender. Leave your world behind... And nothing will trouble you. There is no need to follow or internalize or interpret now. You are not that which comes and goes. No appearances can be you. You are not concerned about these things. Keep no labors for yourself. A silence. A stillness. This stillness it is simply the end. In you. With you. It is the fragrance of your motive. So....Remain as you are. 🙏🏻 #iahsay #WonderWoman #Azedia #wonderwomen #warriors #recoverywarrior #sexualabuse #tbt #travelingmodel #thursdaythrowback #lifestylemodel #spiritualwriter #spiritualpoetry #tucson #tucsonarizona #sunset #lifemodel
Coming from trauma can mean so many things. 🙏🏻Even though my story is one that is not often heard and most certainly not often understood in social circles, that does not mean that one must go through the depths of hell that I have to develop symptoms of trauma because what is traumatic for one person, may be just an obstacle for another. No matter how much someone can try to make you understand what it is they feel or go through in moments of experiencing what feels like a life-threatening situation, no one can ever fully know someone else’s story and perspective. Most of us wonder this world very confused and lost thinking that we should not be feeling the way we feel compared to what others have been through or go through now. Well, I simply don’t sign up for the belief that anyone “should” be one way or another, despite their experiences. This world is so strange and chaotic but also profound and stunning. The stimulation alone from the way our species has “progressed” is enough to send our beings and brains into hyper active mode. So, please be gentle with your gentle soul. 🦋 Since I was born in one of the most sexually abusive places of the cult (at the time of 1987) in Osaka Japan, my life consisted of daily brainwashing and control techniques by houses full of strangers since day one. Due to how my 8 siblings favored my mothers appearance with green-hazel eyes, dark brunette hair, olive skin, hourglass figures on the girls, and two, 6 feet tall boys — and because of how abusive my dad was towards my mother and family — I was rejected at birth for being the spitting image of my father. Fortunately for me, my older sister of 7 years old took me under her wing, named me, and watched over me through our childhood within this unique and extremely dangerous cult. She became the voice in my head, for better or worse, and taught me how to be more compassionate towards myself and others by questioning first what I think I know, and next what I am told. 🙏🏻 #iahsay #recoveryisworthit #ivecomealongway #womenwarriors #recoverywarrior #cultlife #excult #lifeisajourney #prayerflags #stupa #cptsd #complextrauma #complexptsd
I am loving awareness. You are loving awareness. Together, we are loving awareness. 💓 Let no one be alone, while journeying to their home. 🙏🏻 Until we as individuals understand that to end outward wars we must work on the wars within we will continue to suffer. There is no end to this journey - life is ongoing, with or without this body. These clothes, this car, our home, our loved ones... all temporary. What moves on is what needs the most nurturing and love — our essence, our light ✨ So, let us always be the light for when we are the dark.. & let us learn to swim at night, so we can come from heart. ❣️ #art done by the incredible @_kc_art #iahsay #spiritualpoetry #fridayvibes #fridayfeeling #thefloweroflife #sacredgeometry #mentalhealthpoetry #mentalhealthwarrior #mothermoon #fathersun #ramdass #iamlovingawareness #walkingeachotherhome
🐾There’s nothing like meditating on one of the huge, #quartzcrystal boulders under our beautiful aspen tree in the backyard with my sweet Patty Cakes and baby Lena 🐶🐒🌿 ___________________________________ My very first #AmericanStaffordshireTerrier was when I was newly 11 and had just moved to #CostaRica with my dad, step mom, step sister, and older brother. By the next year, we had 4 amstaffy brothers: Patton, Blade, Taser, & Talon. 💓 #RIP _________________________________ Pups have been such a huge part of my healing as an adult however, unfortunately, I have so many horror stories about what has happened to just about each of my sweet fur babies - ever since childhood. I still have flashbacks to memories of severe abuse towards the puppies I raised and loved so dearly. These thoughts have become more and more rare as I continuously release the trauma involved.. but that has not been easy🙏🏻 _______________________________________ I believe that’s an important point to emphasize; Trauma can live in the body and so each of us must consciously and consistently release by learning how to surrender to these difficult stressors. Emotions are energy in motion — and these emotional moments of memories unwanted can be almost as if the situation is being relived, even if for a split second. Yet if allowed, as painful as it is, the movement of this energy will flow. It’s then that we will find our own paths towards releasing and healing what needs nurturing💓#iahsay #mindfulmonday #mystory ____________________________________ • • • • • #mondaymorning #vulnerabilityisstrength #vulnerability #vulnerabilityiscourage #vulnerabilityispower #cptsdrecovery #cptsd #complextrauma #traumainformed #abusesurvivor #womenwarriors #recoverywarrior #bpdrecovery #bpd #meditationmonday #meditationheals #shadowplay #meditation #amstafflove #dogtrainer #womenentrepreneurs #entrepreneurlife #doglife
>Poem at Bottom, 📸 by me< During my childhood, I observed how my parents allowed my 6 sisters and 2 brothers to model as they were selected for catalog and commercial modeling from Chile to Japan to #theStates . My older, and younger, siblings were the perfect children to sell their products. Considering we were basically spokesmodels and poster children for their cause, my attractive family was already used to being used as a spectacle for the #cult — which I’m sure sparked the thought in my mother, “why not make money at it?” I was the one kid they thought, “Eh, not her”. This affected so much of how I thought my family saw me, or perhaps the world. I was the only blonde, blue eyed and fair skinned daughter out of a family 8 brunettes with hazel eyes and olive skin. One day, I’ll explain my other unique differences from my siblings — but not today. In any case, long story short, I had to learn how to pave and create the self-esteem stolen from me while young. I worked towards the image industry to prove so much to myself. Once in, noticed, and admired for my work as an independent, traveling model in the U.S., a whole new set of traumas were lurking to be inflicted. ______________ So, be careful what you wish for — be SURE of your “why”. You may think you know what it is you desire, but knowing and questioning your ‘why’ in every moment of your drive — might actually save your life 🙏🏻 ______________ We are, each one of us, a flower in bloom; a love that swoons... a night of moons that shatter dunes forever pruned from the winds in tune. We are all valued drops of love and sand crawling into the one hand that I am holding out to stand up in this world I love in which we expand. The riches are crimson whispers of peace in which there is left nothing, no beat of this race we face.. yet together, we pace ...and trace this picture of togetherness while we breathe forever.. and ever...with rest. Until that inevitable day when we all confess. 💓 #iahsay #sacredgeometry #coloradophotography #cherryblossomtree #cptsdrecovery #bpdrecovery #complextrauma #cptsd #traumarecovery #traumasurvivor #womenwarriors #naturephotography #spiritualwriter #spiritualpoetry
I am grateful and moved when I think of how much is showing up in my life 🦋 Tomorrow I will be on the amazing “Becoming Legendary | A Vibetality Podcastâ€ğŸŽ™ @becominglegendarypodcast based out of #ChandlerArizona ✨ Although I will be posting a link after the episode aires, I would love and appreciate all of the support I can get before I am interviewed tomorrow evening! 🙏🏻 I’m honored to have this opportunity with such great people who inspire others everyday. I am also thrilled to have a chance to reach those who may be able to connect with my story. If even one person benefits from what I can offer through my vulnerability, I am fulfilled in my endeavor 💓 > Episode Airing July 1st on #AppleiTunes < This photo📸 was taken by the amazingly talented #artist @stevenmorrell during our photoshoot for the upcoming #Boulder Art Show ğŸŽ¨ğŸŽ­ Steve will be painting this photo, although it won’t be seen in the show this time around 🤗 I am flawed, & I am brilliant. I am what you see and what you couldn’t. I am the collective consciousness that is prudent. ...that is what I am, & I don’t plan to ruin it. #iahsay #iahsaymovement #womanwarrior 💪🏻 #becominglegendary #podcastinterview #podcast #podcastshow #podcasters #podcastnetwork #cptsd #posttraumaticstressdisorder #complextrauma #complexptsd #recoverywarrior #recoveryisworthit
At @essensha_ we learn what it’s like to have “mini-swirls” throughout our everyday lives. We learn to not only understand and be aware of them as they come up, but to also learn how to build our own personal “floor” to catch ourselves as we fall back into who we truly are — the essence that makes us. 💜🙏🏻 www.Essensha.com • 🌪 • 🌪 • #iahsay #iamhumansoareyou #movementculture #thursdaythoughts #thursdaymotivation #cptsdrecovery #emotionalintelligence #theworkisworthit #recoverywarrior #recoveryisworthit #ptsd #cptsd #complextrauma #complexptsd #bpdrecovery #bpdawareness
To all Recovery Warriors 🦋 ______________________________________ If you want a way out of the fog, If you are searching to stop the pain, If you can’t find the warrior you once sought, If you are trapped in the storm’s rain... than allow me to be frank, as I have no sugar to coat. It’s like walking the plank, only to find that you float. Afterwards, life is not the same... & you forget the words you once spoke. Ignorant to how you DID reign, & that your life was not broke. #iahsay #mindfulmonday #recoveryisworthit #dothework #theworkisworthit #thework #naturenerd #river #meditative #reflection #reflective #choosetobekind #choosebeingkindoverbeingright #hekate #hecate #lilith #nightgoddess #throughthestorm 📸 by fellow #womanwarrior @srndpt 😘
❣️Face your darkness to step into your light... ———————————————————————— I don’t have many treasured memories from being born into the environment I was. There was one night, however, when I couldn’t sleep. In the room we children were kept in there were blonde wooden bunkbeds, stacked on top of each other, filling one big room from wall to wall. I was on a top bunk near the front door of the room where the nightlight that was on the opposite wall shone directly in my face. I remember climbing down my bunkbed and making my way to the already wide-open room door. The hall was dark and I remember we hadn’t been at this one long, the house that is. Still, I made my way to the end of the hallway where there were stairs to my left and another dark, ominous hallway to my right with multiple rooms scattered throughout. I’m not sure how I knew where to go because I wasn’t really sure at 4-5 who my mother really was. I had a couple of experiences with my dad at this point, though. Enough to know who he was. As I made my way into their pitch black room and stood at the foot of my parents bed all I could think of was how scared I was and how much I needed someone at that moment. I remember saying, “mommy”, actually... when suddenly my dad spring up like a jack-in-the-box while saying, “what?! What!? Whats wrong..?!” There’s a break in my memory here, but the next thing I recall is climbing back into my bunkbed, laying down, and my dad sitting at the door until I fell asleep... I’m grateful for my dad’s soul. He gifted me my first treasured memory 🦋#RIPdad ———————————————————————— And so... a little, terrified girl faced the darkness so as to find her light. This was her first moment of courage. Eventually, she self-taught to stand up when beaten down, love when hated, and be the example she wished to see while trapped in a world unknown. #iahsay 📸 by the amazing @r2digitalimages ❣️#betheexample #takeastand #riseabove #cultlife #mychildhood #lifestylemodel #phoenixphotography #azmodeling
Our emotional brains need loving awareness to guide ourselves back home in moments where stillness & peace seem foreign. ✨ Honor your lessons as gifts from Gaia, Source, The Devine...Life Energy. ✨ Discover the intuitive difference between what your mind has been trained to see as difficulty, and what a true challenge offers when manifested and welcomed as an opportunity for personal growth. #iahsay ✨ • • • • ✨ 🙏🏻✨ #mondaymantra #mindfulmonday #mondaymorning #earlymonday #mondaymotivation #gaia #source #lifeenergy #thedevine #thedevinefeminine #thebalance #harmony #mindfulness #mindful #writerslife #writerscommunity #writer #thewritelife #poetrybyme #recoveryisworthit #writerforlife #writerscommunity #poetssociety #poetsofinstagram #ramdass #carljung #thedalailama #gandhi #carlsagan #prana
#TBT ⬇️See comments for #poem ⬇️ At 25 years old; after I was choked unconscious, threatened and cut with a 6 inch blade by my then boyfriend of 37, and before I had even a shred of self worth... I would protest that there wasn’t much I could not relate to. I thought I had been through “it all”, and that life could throw me any type of curve ball and although I’d likely react unhealthily, I would still hardly ever be surprised at the obnoxiously and seemingly random hardships that would hit. I thought, however, that the worst MUST be behind me. That growing up in an environment where I didn’t know who my parents were until I was 6 and we escaped the cult, or where #sexualabuse , emotional, verbal, and physical abuse was just a daily/nightly occurrence must be IT. I had no idea that I was being #victimized until I was older and received help because that was just my life - it’s all I knew. I didn’t know I was “supposed” to have “issues” from what I had experienced since I was born in one of the most prevalent areas for abuse within the cult, Osaka Japan. Once we left and I finally understood who my biological mother was, my parents divorced. When they split, they installed as much fear in us as they could to not say anything about the organization to anyone or we would “be taken away”. As tempting as it was, at times, to be taken to a different situation away from severe neglect and abuse from my own parents who I barely knew, I was a wise enough kid to know that at least this was familiar and that the next place could actually be worse. In my knowing, even at such a young age, I would question the cult’s authority, and often paid dearly for it. I remember being stubborn and defiant when I was told to believe in their teachings, no questions asked. I was often beaten with wooden boards or leather belts, locked in closets to memorize the bible as punishment, or had a bar of soap shoved in my mouth while someone vigorously brushed the soap into my gums and teeth — all due to a 2-6 year old little girl wondering “why?”. I would get punished for everything I said and did like refusing to drink their powered milk at 2 years old because it made me ill....(continued⬇️)
To stack rocks, or not to stack rocks.. that is the question.... ❓ What do YOU think? 🤔 _______________________________________________________ Whilst hiking through #Chautauqua Park in Boulder, we stumbled on this bit of land in the forest that was just blanketed with stacked rocks. My immediate perception of these rather remarkable #cairns was “How nice to see that more and more people are practicing the balancing of stones as a yoga or meditative practice.” However, once home, I dove deeper into this understanding of ‘rock balancing’ and found that it’s actually a somewhat controversial subject, currently. Why, you may ask? Well, I wasn’t completely aware of how this isn’t entirely a harmless practice. Moving rocks increases erosion by exposing the soil underneath, allowing it to wash away and thin soil cover for native plants. Did you know that every time a rock is disturbed, an animal loses a potential home, since many insects and mammals burrow under rocks for protection and reproduction? Mainly, though, pointless cairns change the value of the wilderness experience by degrading the landscape. Creating cairns where none are needed for route finding is antithetical to Leave-No-Trace ethics. If you’ve moved a stone, you've changed the environment from something that it organically was, to something manmade. _______________________________________________________ I’m curious, what do you all think about the debate on cairns and whether or not they violate the Leave-No-Trace ethics? 🤔🧐🤨 #iahsay #meditationmonday #mindfulmonday #mindfulmovement #balancingrocks #leavenotrace #environmentalist #motherearth #personalgrowth
👆🏻swipe for more👆🏻- #Poem / #Haiku at bottom - Looking back through my adolescence I realized that I did use a rather unorthadoxed method of meditation as a way to cope with the traumas I endured while young. While locked in a closet for punishment in the cult, I would come back to my breath and focus on the wave-like trance that the inbreath and out-breath provide. ———————————————————————- Apparently, that's a practice I have unknowly become accostomed to. However, the trauma of my dad's choice to transcend into the next part of his story allowed me to truly be still and to question my actions that were solely based on image and the popularity of image where I lived in Phoenix/Scottsdale, and places I worked such as LA and Vegas. ———————————————————————— In my cocoon, for one year after he passed, I practiced and studied meditation, lucid dreaming, hypnotherapy, astral projection, and spirit guides. As much as I used slow, close-eyed breathing to cope with my vomiting or hyper aroused nervous sytem, I had yet to understand how authentically raw, while painfully beautiful meditation could truly be. ———————————————————————— As the love that is #RamDass recently talked about on a post, I experience multiple emotions when I think of how I feel from moment to moment. When I bring into mind and experience the loss of my best friend who was also my dad I feel many things, also. There is no one to impress or make proud, anymore. There is no "net" for when I feel the need to fall. There is only this self, this being that I continuously learn how to provide love and light for by Being. Here. Now. ———————————————————————— There are lights within that when shown some affection can grow till they sparkle and glow... ✨ But what happens, now and then, is not only bugs attract to them. Then there's that once in a while, when flashing a smile, that grounding memory feels sudden: I am human, and it is. New #blog - www.shareinnsaei.com/blog #iahsay #fridayfeeling #prayerflags #tibetanbuddhism #meditationspace #transformationfriday #ivecomealongway #itis #sanskrit #samadhi #aum #om #ommanipadmehum #writerslife #writerscommunity #poetrybyme #poetssociety #prayerbeads
🌌OM GATE GATE PARAGATE PARASAMGATE BODHI SVAHA🌄 ————————————————— The journey towards living in Samadhi is one of #practice , #patience , & #radicalcompassion 🙏🏻 #om #aum #iahsay #nationalmeditationday #tibetanbuddhism #samadhi #meditation #meditate #meditatedaily #meditationspace
#BehindTheScenes with 📸 @cameracrop 🦋 Perhaps a bit of an illusion; when realities merge from love, infinite souls become one synchronized heart 💜 ———————————————————————— He is my shadow self - and I am his. Entangled, our particles quantify time - so we chose how to live. Space can soften the mind - allowing ascension to melt I see now this self of mine - unto this Deity I am dealt. ———————————————————————— I love and miss you, dad. My #soultwin 🖤 Happy Memorial to all 🙏🏻 #TexanLife #texasgirl #iahsay #happymemorialday #survivorofsuicideloss #happymemorialdayweekend #mindfulmonday #domesatcasagrande #magicmonday #illusion #mondaymagic #writerscommunity #mentalhealthawarenessmonth #poetrybyme #fitnessmotivation #fitandfree #cowgirl
Pain is a teacher, suffering is an option 💜 Release.. Surrender.. Let go of it all 🙏🏻 #wednesdaywisdom #iahsay
I’m grateful for the souls who join me on the journey into the esoteric #srndpt #iahsay
She is Cinderella's blue fire daydream ~ #iahsay 💙🔥✨ • • • I like to focus on the progress I have made, no matter my age nor the ups and downs of breathing on this planet. When I am reminded of my previous incarnations through reminiscing with old friends or stumbling onto a captured memory from a life I once lived, I often see someone that I now grieve for. Not in a way that I think I died, but maybe a part of me has past so that an essential piece of myself may grow. I do miss this extravagant, lustful, powerful woman who was driven from anger, competition, and vanity. Whereas now, I don’t hold space for those type of limiting vibrations anymore. I wonder if when a caterpillar is in transformation, is there a feeling of grief? 🐛 Does it feel any form of loss for who it used to be? I saw so many butterfly’s in Costa Rica and I'll tell ya, not all would be considered beautiful to some people. To me, every single one told an incredible and fascinating story and in that, I found immense beauty. 🦋💨 Sometimes, some of us do need a sort of humbling to shed the self no longer working towards our own evolution. Even if that means laying to rest a part of ourselves that we cling onto primarily to avoid the pain of transformation. This truth that I speak comes from my many shedding experiences. I have been various kinds of water: shallow, chaotic, still, and deep. I have also found myself often becoming a turning stone in the river; guiding, nurturing, and unmovable. I do remember the life I thought I wanted, the lifestyle I lead, the person that helped shaped who I am today, and who I have now laid to rest. She crosses my mind on occasion. It hits me, I feel it deeply, and then I move forward once more. This thing we're calling 'Borderline' has opened me to understanding my many "past selves" and "past lives", as I describe it. 🙏🏻 I have and will continue to have much more compassion towards who I have been, my essence currently, and the beings I will continue to evolve into. 💜 #myevolution #mondaytransformation #spiritscience #mindfulmovement #mindfulnessmonday #mindfulmonday #traumasurvivor #bpdrecovery #griefrecovery #contribution #onedayatatime #lifestylemodel
They glided through resistance and became one 🙏🏻✨#iahsay ———————————————————————— I took this photo while exploring through the Red Feather Lakes mountains where the Great Stupa of Dharmakaya sits. 🚩Traditionally, prayer flags are used to promote peace, compassion, strength, and wisdom. The flags do not carry prayers to gods, which is a common misconception; rather, the Tibetans believe the prayers and mantras will be blown by the wind to spread the good will and compassion into all pervading space 🌌 ——————————————————#photobyme ❣️ #mindfulmonday #mondaymotivation #buddhism #ChögyamTrungpa #ChögyamTrungpaRinpoche #daoism #dao #spiritualwarrior
Depths Unforeseen ———————————————————————— #art by @_kc_art #iahsay #spiritualpoetry #consciousness #spacetime #awakening - - - - - - #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #bordelinepersonality #depression #mentalhealthwarrior
“When I don’t know who I am, I serve you. When I do know who I am, I am love.” 💚 It is through this service and through this devotion that we begin to realize we are not separate. Love is the very nature of our Being. It is who we are. 🙏🏻💜 #iahsay #belove #beherenow #RamDass #Hanuman #Sanskrit #hinduism #ram #sitaram #dass #crystalhealing #yoga #yogainnature #sundayvibes #lilylake #amethyst #rosequartz #malachite #selenite #celestite #clearquartz #grapeagate #naturenerd #mentalhealthweek
Bee levitation 🐝 #iahsay ——————————————— I’m in love with the love that has sprung within our backyard from the gorgeous #cherryblossom tree 🌸 to this beautiful peach tree🍑 with #crimson flowers 🌺sprinkled with buzzing bee’s 🐝💤 ————————————————————————- #spiritualpoetry #spiritualwriter #throughme #nomorelabels #introspective #inthemoment #befree
#Photo and #writing by @shareinnsaei 💓 While I feel #spirit #throughme and jot down my thoughts, I feel the weight of how so many mental health systems have failed so many. We tend to live with illnesses in the shadows of society thinking we’re “too much” for others to handle. We are labeled many names and some of us take on those identities. My hope is to rise above the negligence and remember to not let myself get tripped up by the feet of our healthcare systems. That to live well is the “best revenge”, so to speak, towards doctors that have become so desensitized they allow pharmaceutical companies to run rapid within their once moral practice. A degree at a fancy medical school just entails more medical debt for the medical practitioner which can provoke a chance of corruption, in my experience.. not always! However, while reading #thebuddhaandtheborderline I’m reminded of how it took me having to go through my fathers suicide at 29 years old to get the answers I’ve been searching for my entire life. I know now more than ever that my father did not have to suffer the way he did before ending his life, either. #KieraVanGelder was correct in saying, “The system is fucked”. So, I hope one day soon to become a contributor towards true #healthcare and #selfcare 🙏🏻 It starts with us - Personal Growth is Gobal Growth ğŸ’ªğŸ»ğŸŒŽ #iahsay #mentalhealthawareness #nevergiveup #truewarrior ———————————————————————— #depression #anxiety #disorder #selfharm #eatingdisorder #mooddisorder #emotionalintelligence #motivate #weareone
Search To Find✍🏻 ————————————— #spiritualpoetry #writersunite #iahsay Art by @_kc_art
Happy Friday the 13th!!! —SWIPE FOR MORE👉🏻 So, I went on the first run I've gone on in over a year, maybe more, in my neighborhood....I’ve been a runner my whole life yet lately, shin splints and grief have been rough. 💔 I was heading home when something guided me down a road two blocks from my house. I literally thought to myself, "There must be a reason I'm going this way - but why? Whatever." And kept running. Moments later, I turned the corner and saw this adorable and beautiful red fox. 🦊 It really moved me. It was a truly magical moment. âœ¨ğŸ§šğŸ»â€â™€ï¸ğŸ§žâ€â™€ï¸ğŸ•´ğŸ»#magicmoments #iahsay #redfox #runners #happyfridaythe13th 🖤
Sleep Dancers, Awaken ✨🙌🏻🧚🏻‍♀️💃🏻🕺🏻🕴🏻#art • @_kc_art #iahsay #sleepdancing
📸 by me 🙏🏻 The path to wholeness can feel jagged, dark, & mysterious. #Selfhealing does not come through effortless roads. I’d like to take a minute & talk about #diagnosis in the mental health field 🍀Having been born into & raised within a #radical Christian & sexually abusive cult known as “The Family” or “The Children of God”, I was a dream come true for Big Pharma from a very early age. When I was six, my parents + 6 out of 9 siblings escaped the cult in the middle of the night - much like the Von Trap family in Sound of Music. Upon entering the “real world”, I was such an awkward & disturbed child that I was labeled many things before I was 16; #BiPolar #ManicDepressive #Suicidal #SevereAnxietyDisorder etc. & was doped up on numerous drugs. I didn’t know much about the Internet or how to use a computer until I was in my teenage years when I returned from living in Costa Rica from 11-14yrs old due to how my extremist father believed that the Y2K Crash would actually happen. When I returned to #theStates & gained access to attainable knowledge at my fingertips I was able to understand the statistics of people who have been through what I’ve been through & how they commonly turn out in their adult years. Needless to say there was quite the list of mental “disorders” that I was prone to because of my childhood #abuse & #traumas . One of which that really stood out & scared me the most was what we knew at the time to be “multiple personality disorder”. However, as of 1994 the #MPD label was put into different & separate labels such as: #DisassociativeIdentityDisorder , #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder , & even #Schizophrenia . Between genetic & environmental influences alongside the #complextrauma I’ve endured, as well as in my adulthood when I was almost murdered by my ex on my 25th & lost my dad to suicide right before my 29th, I have recently been “diagnosed” with BPD. What other cultures call “possession” & deal with spiritually, we call disorder & numb via meds. I invite you all to vanquish labels defining symptoms of what I like to explain as truly an underdevelopment of spiritual consciousness 💓 #Perspective #iahsay 🙏🏻 #japanesegarden #zen
Happy #MondayMadness ! I sometimes film myself while doing #MuayThai to understand where my form needs work. In this special clip in my basement #gym I decided instead of turning my camera off to goof around, as per usual, I’d leave it on and just move where the dance takes me! So, #thisisme at the level of #igivezerofucks 🤗🤪 PS: I’m obsessed with this #song ğŸŽ¼ #iahsay #mindsetmonday #blink182 #boredtodeath #newsong #bodypositive #lifeistooshort #lifeistooshorttolastlong ğŸŽ¤ğŸŽ§ğŸ’ƒğŸ» #madeyalook #thisis30 @blink182
“The soul can split the sky in two — and let the face of God shine through.” ğŸŒž ———————————————————————— This #Throwback picture was at a time before my #lifecoach training at 22 years old where my sister and I embarked on a #westcoastroadtrip where we searched for a state/city to call ‘home’, considering we never really grew up anywhere in specific. When I look at it I’m reminded of the very last gift I gave my dad for his last #fathersday on this Earthly plane. From #thingsremembered , I bought a solar powered, spinning world globe that sits on a #crystal with this quote engraved into it. ğŸŒž ———————————————————————— Having being born and raised in a cult called “The Family of God”, I developed a sort of traumatic reaction to the word ‘God’. As a life coach in my 20’s working with my dad who was devote Christian new to meditative work, I knew it was a life or death situation with him. So, I chose to open up and attempt to release these programs around words that had been severely tainted for myself and many #excult members such as: Love, Family, Spiritual, Sex, and God. The love I have and have had for my father overruled the traumas I experience around these words and concepts. This, to me, is full blown proof that Love IS healing. Love IS power. Love IS hope. “All we need is Love.” 🙏🏻 #iahsay #tbt #arizonasnowbowl #ptsdrecovery #survivorsofsuicideloss #survivorofsuicideloss #allweneedislove #internationalwomensday
—————— Purple Reign —————— Movement feeds the puzzled soul. It creates a wave of rushed blood from the heart center to this hungry self. I have danced on sound waves that push and pull as if magic never left us, and we never fell. Now, we awaken to see that we have been sleep-dancing, molding a facade of this self to be liked. And for what? Is not the dance itself enough to show this beings expression? Accept this, or don’t. Yet: I am not a picture. I am not the surface. I am a mover and a shaker; That’s my only purpose. The giggling geek At the tripper mans feet Lay dormant to the meek And yet fly as if retreat Was the only way to meet This tripper mans defeat. #iahsay #throwbackthursday #purplerain #purplereign #photography #producedby • @srndpt
I haven’t been out on a #Fridaynight in sooooo long! It’s a special occasion, though. I’m surprising my main squeeze for his #birthday by taking him to #Boulder and having one of his idols, @bjamesfotos , walk up and sit with us while we are having dinner tonight!! 🤗 He has no idea.. I’m so excited and grateful for Brendan being so generous to take time away from his busy schedule to come support someone who admires him so incredibly 🙏🏻💓🦋 #iahsay #grateful #fridaynightfun #birthdaysurprise #simplify #floweroflife #thefloweroflife #sacredgeometry #redlips #BrendanJames
The coldest inbreathe from uncertainty makes for the warmest exhale towards surrender 🙏🏻 Swing sweet pendulum, swing. #iahsay #hallranch #yultide #yultideseason #merryyultide #happyholidays
Levitation Reflects ————————————————— #Reflect and be still, yet not to lean on any magical thing to be your missing link that bridges what is in between. Looking closely, I have already joined alchemy in attempts to free me. At this rate of the slowest fate we grind the gate shut to anticipate the mourning that is never late as you and I, and we may gather to state, “I do not believe that it is only the magical whom get to Levitate.” 🕴🏻 #iahsay #naturenerd #poetryheals #reflection #survivorsofsuicideloss
Goodbye Connecticut/Massachusetts! This was such a beautiful gesture welcoming me onto their main table at Thanksgiving with my man’s fam 💓 (even with my name misspelled 🤗) I had a great time connecting with awesome beings 🦋 #iahsay #grateful #gratefulday #thankfulday #happyturkeyday #turkeyday2017
*swipe for more*👆🏻 The Eye 👁 —————————- I am the iris that fades, yet a focal of my point. Circulating pulls carve openings with salt-full waves beginning the illusion of caves. I am the eye that stays to watch the winding path sway for all who is keen to obey. Belief guiding this and that way I find who I am to portray.. and then, my innsaei will stray; —— “I am, and it is. That is all, I say.” #iahsay i am human | so are you #mondaymotivation #mondayfeels #mondays
#iahsay ✌🏻✌🏼✌🏽✌🏾✌🏿 Losing my best friend and dad to suicide has been one of the most challenging growth opportunities I have ever experienced. Since this sudden transformation in my life I have begun constructing a PTSD/Trauma and Suicide Survivor structured group that focuses on support, growth, and consistent healing through genuine and personable connection 💓🙏🏻 Please, if you are experiencing troubles that you feel there is no escape from please contact myself or the suicide prevention helpline at 1-800-273-8255. We’re all here, we’re all human. Lets be there for what matters the most — each other. Join the closed Facebook group at “i am human | so are you” #iahsay #suicideprevention #survivorsofsuicide
This trip has been freeing in many ways. I have relinquished energies unwanted and am learning how to surrender to myself from within 🙏🏻 I am in love with Mother Earth and her Devine ability to bring clarity, allowing me to become heart centered. This incredible space of land is what we know as The Arches in Moab Utah. Marveling in her unfathomable beauty, I was brought to a simultaneous place of ego-shattering humility alongside incredible personal significance. You shook me awake so I could be lifted in wondrous hours of deep roots.. leaning, still, I create — when she called it shifted ‘Cause that’s what the heart does.. Through and through... It’s what I know... is how to be in love.. in love with you 🌺 #MotherEarth #iahsay #MoabUtah #Utah #TheArches #archesnationalpark #arches #beautifulsky #travelnerd #naturenerd #naturetherapy #roadtrip #midwest #photographyfun #cosmos #stardust #naturephotography #naturemeditation #naturelover #naturelovers #naturegram #natureporn #fortheloveofnature
Surrender to the past self that created blocks and limiting beliefs that only allow for a victim mindset 🙏🏻 Declare your worth to Mother Devine; let the pure feminine know you are ready to release the ego that holds you back from your Higher Self, and embrace your essence that is love and truth 💓 #learntoletgo #growthmindset #iahsay #lionking #raffiki #lookforward #letgo #surrender
If we believe in love Then we can rise above 💓 ✊🏻 ILL STREET Clothing; giving back to the community one T-Shirt at a time 💖 #MUA • @lalamoniquemakeup #HairStylist • @majssalon #Photographer • @r2digitalimages Company • ILL STREET by my dear friend Ray Ray Gosha 💓 When buying our products you’re not only getting quality and fun apparel to wear but a portion of your purchase will go towards benefiting the community! 💜 🙏🏻 #illstreet #mondaymotivation #believeinlove #believeinmagic
🌻 Lessons learned and burned until earned with tears and screams and other beautiful things when love is the masterful ring in which we twirl and swing. I am singing to the brim forming redness under skin. Let there be what is free not halting what’s inside of me so that I may see what I couldn’t have foreseen... Much love for the keen. 🌻 #iahsay #fridayfeels #sunflower #sunflowerseeds #sacredgeometry #sacredgeometryinnature #naturenerd 🍀
I feel so fortunate to have met and connected with the beautiful soul that is Miss Maj at the gorgeous @majssalon in Gilbert 🙏🏻🦋🤗 Thank you for the authentic love and generosity, Maj! I’m so grateful for my new haircut — it feels so full and free!! 💓🙆🏼 It’s so difficult to find a beautician you trust.. Maj offers the WHOLE sha-bang! Amazing prices for an absolute quality job with gorgeous personality 🤗 • • • #mondaynight #majssalon #iahsay #newhaircut #hairstyles #hairstylisttribe #nomakeup #nomakeupmovement #nomakeupmovement #nomakeupselfie #selfie #selfiemonday #selfietuesday
Follow your breath. Lay with your Devine stillness ✨🙏🏻 Have a Happy Friday the 13th ğŸŒž #iahsay #happyfridaythe13th
Rising and creating moments from your authentic being will provide layers of deep uncovering. Let free the energy that hesitates because that is your truth! These are not the exact words, however close, yet a beautiful friend and dear soul sister @dawnwatsonoficial once said to me, “You’re one of the strongest women I’ve met because strength is not just what you can take, it’s the resilience to never stop growing! .. and it’s the love you have to help other people, even when you may feel broken. That is true strength.” Every dark night of the soul, to get through energies in motion, must grasp faith and hold dear what beckons within. Listen to the lesson of what arises. Be so gentle with your precious self... hear what whispers to your essence. Remember, the darkness you deem to shun has lessons, too. Let it come. “What we resist, persists.” Be the beauty that is who your authentic self wants to be, and release being good.. for being good suggests there is a bad. 🙏🏻 i am human | so are you #iahsay #whatweresistpersists #cgjung #carljung #marieforleo
What a beautiful morning for an outside, nature meditation with #FatherSun and #MotherEarth ! ..before the storm hits this afternoon⛈✨🌐 This one’s job is to sit nearby with the ball... and he is a #BOSS at it ğŸ¶ğŸ˜Ž #dogmom #meditationspace #amstaff
Be hungry for the self love that is your true essence. To us Warriors, there is no such thing as quitting the work. It may slow to a crawl, or heavy itself; weighing us down.. yet we never stop, we don’t chose to quit. This is the life I chose. I lead it with all forces of Mother Devine. I chose to shine. #Artwork by the very talented @_kc_art 💜 #iahsay #loveoftheday #thedevine #warriorwomen #superheroes #selflove #thework
When intuition matches information, therein lies your answer 🙏🏻 Trust yourself. May all beings find peace 💫 International Day of Peace 🦋 P.S. I’m in love with our newest crystal family member! The #yellowlotus represents #SpiritualAscension ✨💫 My lover knows what kind of flowers to give this woman 🌻 #innsaei #iahsay #intuition #yogitea #lotus #crystallotus #internationaldayofpeace
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