Yesterday wasn’t easy. I knew dementia has its way of showing, but no matter how much I know my Mom is diagnosed with it, apart of me thinks she’s “not that bad.” I didn’t want to believe that she was classified that way. In our eyes, she’s “My Mom” and “Our Lola”. .
Maybe I am in denial, maybe I think she is one of the few that will overcome this challenge, or maybe I just choose to believe she’s my Mom who lives everyday life like the norm that still remembers my childhood and will be able to cook a meal for her family again. .
Yesterday when she didn’t know who I was, nor even Xzander, was the HARDEST for me to take. 💔 I couldn’t believe it at first and when we asked again (and again and again and again), and still having the same answer, I lost it. 😭 I had my mind going absolutely crazy. It’s NEVER happened before and I was NEVER ever looking forward to it ever happening at all. .
We had to show pictures and repeat our names and ask questions just to convince her that it was us. .
No family should ever go through this and it’s very unfair. I’m heartbroken, sad, upset, angry, and even exhausted. At least, this is how I am currently feeling.
What I do know is, I won’t give up. As much as it tears me, I just won’t. ❤️ We love her way too much to accept defeat. Perhaps the initial reaction that I had yesterday was the worst and it will get better. ❤️
Thank you for all the messages and check-ins yesterday, you have no idea how much it means to me. 💕
I try not to share about pain, but I’m human and as much as I try to avoid it, I definitely couldn’t hide it yesterday. .
Hug your family a little more. Spend more time with them and take lots of photos together with your brain and with your gadget. Life is so short. 2019 has proved that so much already... .
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