Part two // ....A few months ago @ashley.corryn
invited me to a worship night. A bunch of us gathered in this studio & sang praises to God for hours. Most of us didn’t know each other. No one knew my story. No one knew my struggle. The people in the studio began speaking over each other, laying hands on one another, & declaring that demons be removed from the room. At this point, everyone was tapping into the Spirit. You could tangibly feel the thickness of His presence, & in my heart I told Him that I desperately needed someone to speak up for me...I needed someone to declare victory over me but I was too afraid to declare it over myself because I was worried God wouldn’t come through. I needed someone who wasn’t afraid to pray big prayers. I needed someone who believed in my victory even before they knew my struggle. I needed someone who believed God is willing to bind up every wound, even the ones I had caused myself. Almost immediately after I whispered to the Lord, @crystalraehill
asked if there was anyone in the room struggling with depression or suicidal thoughts. My hand shot up in the air before I even knew what she was asking. Everyone circled around me, laying their hands on my head, surrounding my brain with their palms & filling my ears with their utters to the Father. Many were crying, as if they had all been there before. I held the hand of the stranger next to me who was also burdened with these things & we cried as if every anxious tear was being sucked out of our eyes. When the prayers stopped, so did the pain. It was as if chains had unraveled from around my ankles. I felt free. I was free. •
It has been 3 months since my last panic attack, my last ache of depression, & my last suicidal thought. Today I looked back at some old pictures ranging from the ages 16-23. I didn’t recognize the girl I saw. I zoomed in on her face as if I had never seen her. I admired her smile. I was jealous of her eyes. I was jealous of...me...a me that no one knew was begging God to take her away. The truth is friends, you never know what someone is going through. I was close to ending it all. Thank You, Lord for the power of prayer & healing. I am a new creation!