The iToaster which currently resides in Los Angeles, lamented on the infamous online toast-forum ‘breddit’, last week about its growing loneliness – being the household’s only smart device. “Living with all these ancient, analogue appliances is analogous to neglect. Fridge is full of shit, Dishwasher’s is self-absorbed, and Kettle’s a hypocrite. I can’t connect with them.” The toaster – normally an expert on balancing darkness and light – claims domestic life has gotten so bad it’s often thought about ‘pulling the plug.’ Jeff (the household’s breadwinner) used to greet me every morning with his rye-smile, now we just sit in silence every night as he cries in the bathtub. Sometimes I think about jumping in with him.” When confronted by these revelations, Jeff seemed confused, “… I’m a busy guy, and it’s a toaster. If it wants to pull the plug, so be it, I’d like to see it try.” The emotional Toaster took a few moments to calm down, then said cryptically: “If things don’t change soon … we’re toast.” For more go to thefunnyfuturist.com.au
After the infamous, inconvenient and indefensible discovery in 2023 by GoogleMoon – that there was indeed no flag bearing the great Stars and Stripes orbiting our earth - no evidence of any great ‘leap for mankind’, nor any small footprints observable in the lunar soil at all, save those made by cosmic flotsam, not jetsam - galactic trendsetter, philanthropist, and all-round billionaire, Elon Musk, has again made history, becoming the first man to walk on the moon.
It is widely rumoured that this ‘21st Century Space Race’ came about after Musk placed last in a Faberge Egg and Spoon race at the Bilderberg Hotel. So incensed was Musk, that he challenged fellow elites such as Branson, Trump and Bezos, to the furthest thing he could see that afternoon - the moon.
Musk revealed on The Joe Rogan Experience, that: ‘it was no accident it took exactly four months and twenty days to achieve the feat … we were high most of that time.’ When the laughter subsided, Musk went on: ‘When I was looking down at the Earth, and I planted that flag, declaring the universal legalisation of cannabis, you know what I said to myself? ‘Man … put that in your pipe and smoke it.’’ However, not everyone seemed ‘over the moon’ by the revelation, with one NASA scientist lamenting:
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