“Does competing cause eating disorders?” In most cases, I truly believe the answer is NO. On the contrary, my personal belief is that individuals with preexisting disordered eating habits/full blown disorders, or body dysmorphia, are simply *drawn* to the sport of bodybuilding. I have hinted at this sparingly in the past, but bodybuilding helped me end a dark period of bulimia 3 years ago. When I found the sport, I loved my newfound knowledge of nutrition, I loved lifting, and I loved all of the amazing coaches and women I had the opportunity to surround myself with. And winning a few shows put me on cloud 9. I thought I had “conquered” my body issues for good! But old habits die hard — and this year I started using competition land as a way to hide my underlying disorder and obsession with body image as a “fitness journey”, pro card goals, and even an excuse to alter my body with breast implants. Some days I wish I could go back and unlearn everything I know about macros, nutrient timing and cardio control, just so I could go through ONE day without a bodybuilding “rule” entering my brain. The knowledge became a tool not to empower me or my health, but to feed my brokenness and morph myself into what I thought I should look like: a standard. An “after photo.” And it left me just as empty and obsessed with my body as before. If you’re considering competing to “overcome” body dysmorphia or an eating disorder, please, please reconsider, and instead first explore working with a therapist and/or finding a health and fitness routine that doesn’t exacerbate your issues. And if you still decide to compete, at least have people around you who can keep you in check with your mental state. Competing is extremely popular, and it’s an amazing experience, but it is NOT for everyone. Even the mentally toughest struggle with seeing their body change from season to season. And while a select few may have been healed through the process (and it’s not my intent to offend anyone), I still had to post this...even if it saves just one person from going down the wrong path. There should be trophies for self-love, too...don’t you think? 🤔❤️
From 97kg / 214 lbs to 92.5kg / 204 lbs!! Fitness has always been a part of my life. This is the first time though, that I seriously bulked and then seriously getting ripped again in order to gain lean mass the right way!
It was my choice to lose fat slowly in order to keep as much muscle mass as I could!
I am proud of the results so far but I still have a long way to go. I want to lose around 2kg / 4.5lbs more in the upcoming month / 2 months.