It's been 6 months and 9 days since the last time I used this on my skin. It's the longest I've been clean in over 10 years. The last time was so bad I could see inside my arm and it's shocked me in to seriously trying to beat this addiction.
I decided to try and make something using the tool that had been so destructive to me for years.
The first is a representation of what 2018 was for me. 2017 NYE was one of the worst nights of my life and it set the tone for a bad year. I nearly lost my now 3 legged best friend, my mental health was the worst its been in years, I had to go back to trauma counselling, and we lost our lil hammies way too soon.
But there were plenty of good things that happened - I moved in with my soulmate, passed my driving test, got a distinction in my MSc, Tilly is still here.
It felt good to make something instead of destroy myself, so this is what I did on 2018 NYE.
The dawning of a new year fills a lot of people with dread, #newyearnewme
etc. Don't fall in to that trap of thinking you're not enough because you are. Set attainable goals, don't buy in to the false narrative from media that 'this is the best year ever' because it might not be. And that's okay. Bad things happen, it's part of life. Don't get sucked in to this whirlwind of comparing yourself to others. So what if someone has reached their #gymgoals
. If all you do this get out of bed that's a fucking achievement in itself.
Yes, I have goals that I want to achieve this year because I'm not letting my mental health take away another decade of my life. If at the end of the year I haven't done everything I set out to, that's okay. I have my whole life to learn how to play violin or knit or go ice skating and rock climbing or make new friends. I didn't think I would be here to see 2019 but I am and that's something to be proud of.
Above all else, learn to be kind to yourself and others and everything else will fall in to place.
#mentalhealth #selfharm #recovery #anxiety #depression #suicide #newyear #acrylicpainting #arttherapy #positivevibes #everythingscomingupmilhouse