Recovery~ I’ll start tomorrow - no we have to start right now
It’s hard- yes it’s hard but you are stronger than them challenges and voices
I’m tired of fighting this - yes your tired but you that’s no excuse to stop fighting Remember when you was in that dark place you was able to keep pushing your body more through over excercise when your body was tired your mental capacity still overridden the physical capacity and u still pushed and pushed until you collapsed. So don’t tell me your not strong enough because u were strong enough to keep pushing and pushing your body through excercise so you have enough will power to keep pushing through that “ can’t do it feeling “ or im not sick enough feeling” sick and that sometimes feeling like your in a never ending battle. Your war will end. But only as soon as you begin to accept your body for what it is by nourishing yourself, resting, cutting back on that excercise and letting it flourish. It’s hard accepting the real u but trying to be something your not will never lead to happiness just more depression and sadness. Happiness comes from within and once u see the body U live in as a temple and treat it like one, happiness will begin to peak through into your life. OTS ALL DOWN TO YOU!! #edrecovery #anorexiarecovery #foodphotography #foodstagram #foodpics #foodporn #foodisfuel #foodblogger #instafood #foodie #strongnotskinny #realrecovery #like4like #follow4follow
Breakfast. A slice of buttery crunchy toast and a banana strawberry smoothie. I can’t tell you how good buttery crunchy toast tastes when you’ve not had it for a while ☺️ The smoothie was difficult. I’m at a stage where I could happily drink the milk and eat the banana and strawberries but putting them into a smoothie makes it somehow harder. Which means eat and repeat is needed for this one. Also, note to self - using frozen banana, frozen strawberries and cold milk results in something thick enough to spoon rather than drink - I had to let it melt a bit before I could drink it. Nice though 🍓🍌 #lowfodmap #edrecovery #movingforwards #adultswitheds #breakfast
Who could resist those chocolate - caramel #protein
?🥞💙😏 |RECIPE below👇.
with finally some sun shining🌄. This brightens up my mood so much, but also makes me quite sad, because I would love to go out and spend some great time in the nature, but my stupid broken leg🦶 keeps me from doing so🙄.
So please enjoy the sun for me instead💙.
>>ARE YOU GOING TO ENJOY THE SUN TODAY?☀️💙.
*ᵁⁿᵇᵉᶻᵃʰˡᵗᵉ ᵂᵉʳᵇᵘⁿᵍ ⁽ᴷᵒᵒᵖᵉʳᵃᵗⁱᵒⁿ⁾.
protein powder (SAVE 💸 with FEEMYP + Link in my Bio*).
eggwhites / 2 eggs I vegan: use 4 tbsp of apple sauce.
•1 small zucchini.
👉Cut the zucchini (maybe peel). Mix all ingredients & let the dough sit for a few minutes. Meanwhile preheat a pan to medium high and add the batter. Flip when the edges start to rise.
Top with yoghurt + blubs💙.
🇩🇪Tut mir leid, dass ich zur Zeit so inaktiv bin. Ich komme einfach zu nichts mehr... Zur Zeit ist so viel los und mein Tag hat kaum noch Stunden - im wahrsten Sinne des Wortes - denn ich schlafe 12-14h und bin dennoch müde.💤 In der restlichen Zeit schaffe ich gar nichts mehr... Ich hab eine ellenlange To-Do Liste📝 aber keine Kraft sie anzugehen.
Mein gebrochenes Bein ist einfach nur unendlich dick geschwollen und voller Wassereinlagerungen, aber wenigstens heilen die Wunden so langsam ab. Gibt schöne, fette Narben🙊💩. Aber hey, das macht Leute dich erst interessant, oder?🧙♂️⚡.
Und jetzt scheint die Sonne wieder, eigentlich freue ich mich, gleichzeitig ist es umso frustrierender, sie nicht nutzen zu können...
So jetzt aber genug Mimimi, denn wenn ich jetzt noch die Themen Versicherung, Schule, meine Psyche, Familie, Extremer Hunger etc. anbringe, dann wird das hier ein Roman...
Also nutzt jetzt einfach die Sonne für mich und habt einen tollen Sonntag!🤗💙.
Ach ja, mit dem Bild nehme ich auch noch an #danis35kparty
soweit der #goodmoodfoodparty @magic.fit.food @coconutandcarrot
Challenge von @danilicious2.0 @veganstars @kaleidoscopic.kitchen
Happy Sunday guys♥️ A bowl of porridge from a couple days ago!
About to do spin then off for a coffee date with a friend♥️ Have a lush Sunday all!
Tw?-Hey guys✨ I’m sorry for not posting but tbh I really don’t wanted to. The last days I struggled very hard and relapsed. I startet counting calories again and didn’t allowed myself any kind of sweets.☹️😔I hope that it gets better now as I’ve talked to my best friend who supports me so much. 💖 I will try to post more often but it’s kind a stressful time in school atm so I don’t know if I have the time and mindset to do so. 🙇🏼♀️ #strongagainstanorexia #beatanorexia #anorexiafighter #recovery #anorexiarecovery #edrecovery #struggles #bestrong
▪This was yesterday's lunch.
▪It was so freaking terrifying but I did it!!
▪THANK YOU GUYS FOR THE 1.2K, OUR FAMILY KEEP GROWING AND I'M VERY HAPPY I CAN HELP, AT LEAST, SOME OF YOU!!❤❤
Very grateful to have such beautiful people in my life ✨ so so lucky to be able to spend the weekends at home away from the hospital🥰 Monday marks one month inpatient and I really just want to go home, hopefully I’m not here much longer. Keen to get back into school and life in general but I guess health comes first! Take care everyone thank you for all the love and support❤️
YOU ARE AMAZING. Someone made you feel bad about yourself. And I mean real bad. Bad in a way where you feel sick to your stomach. I know that feeling. I’ve been there. .
When I was young I got bullied so bad I didn’t want to be alive anymore. Literally. And I won’t go into details but you can guess what I might have tried to do about it.
People spit in my face, made fun of me, beat me up, girls played jokes on me, I was alone and afraid to even go to school. .
I had no friends, no one, I mean no one to talk to.
But let me tell you something. I was amazing then and I’m amazing now just like you.
People are going to try and tear you down because you have something they don’t. Don’t let anyone convince you, that you are somehow less. Respect yourself, be proud of yourself. .
And certainly don’t let something some one told you or said to you affect you for too long. Either confront that person if you have to or let it go and realize they will never be happy and move on.
Because that is the truth. Feel sorry for the person that tries to bring others down. Feel bad for them that they will never EVER find true happiness. And even if they do at some point find happiness. Know this, they will be sick whether they show it or not from what they’ve done before and never truly be Abel to experience what you and I can, being happy. Think about it...
#selflove #selfcare #loveyourself #bodypositive #selfworth #positivity #bodypositivity #spiritjunkie #effyourbeautystandards #recovery #mentalhealth #confidence #mindfulness #gratitude #meditation #healing #spirituality #lifecoach #bopo #positivevibes #selfesteem #bodylove #lightworker #positive #edrecovery #honormycurves #selfhelp #plussize #selfacceptance #enlightenment
🧠 power people... we have been given tools and are perfectly capable to create a winning mental space. Map out a Win... then watch it happen.
‘Start over my darling. Be brave enough to find the life you want and courageous enough to chase it. Then start over and love yourself the way you were meant to.’
The reason I’ve gained weight is because all I wanted is to love myself no matter how much I’m weighing.
40/50/60/70kg it does not define me as a person.✨
There is nothing wrong with my thighs ( my weakness) if they are thicker or not.
This time I’m posting a pic of me that I wouldn’t post it before, showing all my flaws.
Why this pressure to be perfect?
#edrecovery #selflove #amorpropio
TW Body Check!! Hi 😊
I've been out of treatment since almost two weeks now and I really underestimated that.
I don't know how to maintain my weight and struggle to even hit 800 kcal and if I do I always purge 😭
But I feel so fat and miss being skinny so much (2nd pic is me rn)
Well, but maybe when I document my "recovery" (can't really call it that when I'm losing weight again lol) here I have more motivation 🌈
Instagram vs reality; just a few hours before this picture I was sitting crying to my mum about how anxious and depressed I’ve been feeling. Truthfully, these past few days have been so tough. My anxiety has escalated again and I keep thinking what is the point, what’s the point in keeping on going? Why can’t I just be normal and live my life like a normal person. On the way home from uni on Friday I just broke down to my mum and again in work yesterday I broke down. I feel scared, and I don’t even know what I’m scared of. I decided I wasn’t going to go out last night but my friends persuaded me to go even if I only went for a few hours. I’m so glad I went because it actually turned out to be a good night and I’m proud that I pushed myself out of my comfort zone to go. I will get back to that sociable, happy girl I was a few weeks ago!
There’s no reason for this post besides looking at them wholesome flowers in the background 🌺🌼
Final (full) day in Sydney! And again- another CRAZY busy one! My dad sent a text in the family group chat of all the places we went today so I might just copy that here..considering it’s quite a big one🤣🤣 here’s the list:
Sydney library gallery.
Gallery of NSW.
Sydney Vegan market.
Lavender bay whitely garden.
Darling harbour. 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
A lot of traveling around the city, transporting on the fairy boats and again on feet(yes they’re KILLING me right now🤣🤣) probably the highlight of today was finally getting a chance to go to the @sydneyveganmarket
😍 I’ve been dreaming about visiting since mid(?)last year when I came back from Korea, but honestly, up until now was in no state of mental stability to travel, but I’ve finally gotten there! And can we just admire the beautiful vegan Thai food me and my dad got for lunch😍😍 thank you @kindnesscafe
- it was soooo tasty❤️❤️🌟 was sort of on a mission for icecream after a long journey around the city but failed due to a crazy long cue at the shop- but my heart was in it, just the conditions weren’t supportive I guess💁🏼♀️ it’s an improvement tho! Trying to satisfy a craving, listening to my body (although sometimes it’s not able to be met)🙌 🌿breakfast~today’s oats are the same as yesterday! The bowls in dad’s place are really a nice size and aesthetic tbh🤣 oats with peach, blueberries and a lovely blob of ‘almond, cashew, brazil’ nut butter from @colessupermarkets
🌿lunch~green curry and tamarind tofu shared with dad at the vegan festival from @kindnesscafe
🌿dinner~just a nice big bowl of veg, same as yesterday! Store bought roast potatoes, sweet potato and pumpkin, with broccoli and chickpeas! A simple 1second dinner after a LONG BUSY day!
Grill'd garden goodness burger for dinner 🍔
Even managed to have some chips!
Had a lovely day with my boyfriend and parents. We went in a big estate/garden kinda thing for a picnic, I had a ham and gherkin relish sandwich which was a massive win cause its my 2nd ever sandwich with filling since recovery! I also made my boyfriend some sandwiches which was fun. I've been incredibly open with my parents and bf with my anxieties around eating out so they made sure I was comfortable and it turned out to be a really stress free day.
Horrible body image day. Wanted to restrict so bad. Can't manage dessert but my meal plan only days every second day anyway, probably because my dietitian can see better than I can that having dessert more often would be overwhelming and lead to restriction. I feel like I've gained weight, even though if anything I've lost or at worst maintained. Plus I need to gain weight anyway wtf lol. I want so bad to go back to eating my safe amount of calories, the 100 calorie increase is freaking me out but I'm still barely eating enough. Idk if because I know I'm eating more the anorexia is telling me I look bigger. Anyway I hope tomorrow I feel better.
#anorexiarecovery #edrecovery #eatingdisorder #eatingdisorderrecovery #food #foodie #fearfood #recovery #ed #eatittobeatit #recoveryisworthit #foodisfuel #realrecovery #prorecovery #foodporn #edfood #realrecoveryfood #edrecoveryfood
Mine are FINALLY HERE and I could throw a party for that!
At least I'm congratulating myself for everything I've gone through for reaching this "level" of recovery.
After 12 years living without natural menstruation/menstruation at all (I decided not to use birth control/other hormonal solutions to get my periods, after many years struggling with unpleasant effects they caused) my body finally made a signal that my hormonal functions are now in quite good condition. Am I glad or what? OH MY GOD (whatever that is) YES. .
Getting my natural periods is one of the most concrete proofs about how far I've gotten on my recovery. I consider and feel myself recovered and this is the most amazing thing I've experienced. .
My physical body is working. My bodily functions are normalizing.
My mind is not trapped.
I see myself as a team formed by my mind and body.
I don't see myself as a structure of bits and pieces.
I don't despise my body.
I don't have a need to exercise compulsively.
I like to eat, I enjoy eating.
I'm not afraid of eating in front of others.
I want to take care of myself.
Food and eating aren't expressing moral implications for me anymore.
Ed-thoughts are so, so, so silent if they appear, and my own voice has power to mute that whispering.
For as long as I can remember my greatest wish has been to live a life without an eating disorder, to sense how and what is this reality that I've been unable to live.
This realm of freedom, as I thought this reality that I'm now living is, is what I call living.
And yes, I thought that the day of my first natural periods would never come but yet it did, in age of 26.
Revocery is possible.
You can get there.
#anorexiarecovery #edrecovery #menstruation #periods #bodyacceptance #selfacceptance #foodfreedom #appreciation #selflove #selfcare #health #recoveryispossible #recoveryisworthit #fuckdietculture #edwarrior #body #syömishäiriö
My dream breakfast situation 🤗
Avocado 🥑, frozen banana 🍌 , spinach, almond milk and cinnamon blended up into the creamiest green smoothie bowl and topped with all my favourite things: raw chocolate drizzle, hemp hearts, berries, cacao nibs, @deliciouslyella
granola and of course @manilife_
peanut butter. When the chocolate sauce hits the cool smoothie it forms a magic shell - heaven 😍. If you had to eat one breakfast on repeat what would it be? 🧐🥞
I just had a huge fight with my partner. My ED voice got angry and angrier. I became a monster and I yelled and yelled at him over something so trivial.
I haven’t cooked in over a year. My partner used to cook for me but hasn’t anymore because I don’t trust his cooking and he isn’t vegan. Today I said I wanted to get an air fryer to start cooking. This in itself is a HUGE deal for me. He said “why get that? You are not going to cook anyway and it’s just going to sit inside the cupboard”. He has always told me that I should cook. I got so angry at him because I felt like he was telling me that I don’t need to eat and that I shouldn’t eat. I got so angry. I haven’t been this angry in a long time. When I get angry I resort to my behaviours. I just want to restrict and self destruct so so badly 😭😭😭😭 i hate this. I hate who i am. I hate myself angry. I hate this all so much. I just want this all to stop!!!!! 😭
I have noticed I have been so hungry the last few days and my fuse is so so short. I’m scared I’m getting my period back 😭. I know it should be a good thing but for me it reminds me of how fat I’ve gotten 😭😭😭😭😭 #mentalillnessrecovery #edrecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #recoveringaussies #edvoice #depression #enoughisenough
it’s 3am. i’m laying in bed on my phone working on a bunch of shit. (topless because that’s the best way to sleep even though i never sleep). a lot is coming and i finally have a good feeling about all the things i want to do. tomorrow (today) i’m filming a what i eat in a day to prove to myself that i am allowed to eat and it’s okay. also an update because a lot has been going on. morning routine video will be up tomorrow (today) too. also i made a new inspiration board on pinterest that i really really like and it’s linked in my bio if you wanna check it out 💭
Sunday morning smoothie bowl😛😛😛 blueberry and @missfitsnutrition
vanilla vegan protein smoothie bowl topped with nectarines, chia seeds, desiccated coconut and @mindfulbitesuk
cacao Brazil nut butter😍😍😍
Breakfasting on weetabix + soya milk + banana🍌! Arrived back from Amsterdam on Friday, can honestly say it was AMAZING😝! Not got any plans for today, what have you all got planned?!?
🌟Lunch & dinner of yesterday🌟
▪3 pieces of cake
▪1 multi grain bun with cheese and hummus & 1 1/2 eggs
[ I had alot of fun with my cousin last evening and also with my family 😊 The cake was so delicious and it felt so good to eat it just because I liked the taste 🤷♀️ but afterwards I had stomach pain which was not so nice 😕 at dinner time I also thought to eat bread instead of a bun but I decided the higher calorie bun💪 I also had alot of nuts/nic nacs and 3 cream liqueur.... already after the cake I had a bloated stomach and it didn't changed the whole evening 😔 I am noticing that I have gained weight and where I gained it and it puts me back into a old mindset... ]
#anorexia #recovery #anorexiarecovery #eatingdisorder #eatingdisorderrecovery #edrecovery #struggling #cake #bodyimage #birthdayparty
"Ach Mami, Nerv mich doch nicht immer." Das wären vermutlich Gipsy Gedanken 😅 Aber ich kuschel doch so gern mit ihm 🤷♀️ Mein Mann sagt immer zu Gipsy, dass es in seinem Mietvertrag steht: Er wird rundum versorgt, darf hier wohnen und bekommt fressen, dafür muss er aber mit uns kuscheln 🤷♀️😂 Mein Bauch tut heute höllisch weh. Ich habe relativ viel gegessen gestern Abend, aber mich trotzdem echt beherrscht. Hab auch zunächst alles drin behalten. Ich wollte gut sein. Keine Umstände machen. Wie es halt so ist. Irgendwann wurde ich so müde, weil mein Körper so Probleme hat, Nahrung zu verarbeiten. Mein Bauch war aufgebläht, ich hatte Schmerzen, mein Herz klopfte so stark, dass ich dachte,man könne es hören, war einfach nur fertig. Zuhause dann direkt 🚾 Ich hab dieses Gefühl nicht ausgehalten und hätte so tatsächlich auch nicht schlafen können. Heute tut mein Bauch einfach total weh. Ich hab so großen Hunger, bin kaputt und müde. Ich traue mich aber nichts zu Essen, weil ich mich so unfassbar schlecht fühle. Ich habe 4kg zugenommen die letzten wochen und schäme mich einfach so sehr. Am liebsten will ich den ganzen Tag heute verschlafen. Allein sein. Niemanden sehen. Aber ich kann ja schlecht meinen Mann rauswerfen 🙄 Und stattdessen wollen wir auch wahrscheinlich ins Kino. Ich hoffe einfach, ich bekomme den Tag gut rum.
#recovery #edrecovery #healthy #bpd #borderline #bulimia #selfharmmm #selflove #depression #wunderwesen #strong #battling #struggle #kater #katze #cat
Love me big bowl of #carrot #flax #cinnamon #turmeric #peaprotein #oats
topped with frozen #berries
and #nuts #chia #blacksesame
Honestly I feel shit😶😔. Anorexia is screaming and telling me to exercise like cycle etc but nope. I cannot give in. And I will not give in. No. Take the train Jenny and keep eating what you need.
This is the only way. Get through the shit before you feel good.
Anyways. How are you?
Welcome home Ted 💙
This little one has stole my heart already!
Happy Sunday 🖤 probably the last picture w/ snow because I smell spring, hihi! Somebody else super excited about more sun, spring vibes, fresh fruits & good vibes? This spring is ours. To live and laugh more. No more struggling and holding ourselves back. // today’s agenda: morning walks, visiting my granny + spending time with my loved ones before I’m off to Munich again. What are your Sunday plans? Xx
Einen schönen Sonntag euch lieben! Statt Schnee gibt’s heute Sonne satt -Frühlingsgefühle hallo 👋☀️ genießt das Wetter, einen leckeren Sonntagsbrunch, Zeit mit der Familie, Zeit für euch & lasst es euch gut gehen. Drücke euch 🌹
Also ich fand die leider nicht so lecker 🤨
Hey Leute ❤️
Heute melde ich mich mal schon in der Früh, weil ich heute einiges vorhabe 🥰 Ich werde heute mit meiner ganzen Familie zum Flughafen fahren und dann werden wir dort meinen Bruder abholen, der jetzt seit einem halben Jahr im Ausland war 😍 Allerdings gehen wir dort dann wahrscheinlich essen am Mittag und mittags fällt mir das sowieso schon schwer und noch dazu kennt mein Bruder mein gestörtes Essverhalten nicht so wirklich und deshalb habe ich Angst, was er sagen wird 😓 Dann muss ich heute auch noch Latein lernen, weil wir bald Schulaufgabe schreiben und Spanisch und Geschichte lernen, weil wir diese Fächer morgen haben 😩 Meine Bio Hausaufgabe will ich heute auch noch erledigen und dann halt noch ein paar kleinere Dinge 😅 Ich hoffe ihr habt heute alle einen schönen Tag und bis morgen oder später 😊🙈
I'm so ready for a relaxing week🍃
Don't know how much longer I can go on pretending I am OK.