Late last night, I raised the white flag. 🏳 I sent a message to my therapist and (more or less) said, “This isn’t working.” I was exhausted. This #anorexia
combo can feel so big and overwhelming — and I’ve begun to feel outnumbered.
At first, I felt like a failure for needing MORE help. Why couldn’t I just try harder? Why wasn’t this enough? It felt like I’d let my clinicians down, because here they were, doing everything they could — and I still couldn’t pull it together.
we talk a lot about asking for help. We should probably be talking a little bit more about asking for MORE help — because so often, we try to get by with the bare minimum because we’re ashamed of just how much we need.
Real talk: It feels vulnerable and shitty to say, “Actually, I’m even more of a mess than we initially budgeted for.” But more often than not? Being willing to ask for more when it’s needed makes all the difference in recovery.
So here I am, looking at my options, because my #eatingdisorder
is putting up a hell of a fight — and in order to live a full life, it’s demanding that I put up one, too. There aren’t shortcuts in recovery. Believe me, I’ve tried desperately to find them. (If you happen to have found one though... let me know?)
And that’s why it’s so important to ask for what you need and deserve, instead of cutting corners. Because bringing the proverbial “knife to the gun fight” — especially when we’re talking about your mental health — is a risk you don’t need to take.
That said, I had no idea there was even a white flag emoji. But I’m proposing that we all make use of it a little more often, yeah? 🏳🏳🏳