R U N N I N G
So it's the new year. Everyone's on a keep fit "kick". Random people in my area are suddenly running... Everywhere. And the media shows you pictures like the left where it looks graceful, you wear some makeup and look beautiful whilst doing it but for those who think, "I'll take up running" but possess boobs or thighs or ANYTHING large that jiggles, take heed my friend.
First off, boobs. I mean, fuck me. Have you ever run with big boobs?! They're knocking you out, then they're hurting, you hold them then your chicken winging people as you run past. And the SWEAT! Don't even get me started on the underboob and between the boobs crease sweat. Not even gonna mention upper boobs sweat 😳
Then there's the chaffing. The rubage. I mean sweet Jesus. If it doesn't hurt you've got holes by mid morning from the rubbing. They're hot and sweaty and ew and just no. You've now produced a look of, oh look, she's wet herself from butt sweat, crotch sweat and all manner of other sweat.
Then there's tummy jiggles, arms flapping, good old thigh clapping. Sweat pouring off you like a bloody drain pipe and why the fuck did anyone suggest *light* make-up which is now washed down to my knees?! I mean seriously. It's not for me. If it works for you, great. But I'm tapping out. Who's with me? 😥
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