have been not myself for the past few days. I thought I was sick. But it's much more common, and annoying.
Okay ladies, who is with me here?
PMS is the worst. Even after more than half my life dealing with hormones, I still struggle, still hate it, and, perhaps the most shameful, STILL FORGET WHAT IS HAPPENING EVERY MONTH! And I'm 38. So I have literally been dealing with this for almost 25 years. Seriously, WTF. How do I forget?!
Even on birth control, which regulates my hormones, I still have about 2-3 days every month, always during PMS week, where I feel like absolute shit, like I'm legit sick. I can't function, I get nothing done, I bully myself because I get nothing done:
"what is wrong with you? Don't you want this life bad enough to do the work today? No wonder you aren't where you want to be, when you waste time like this...." and on and on and on.
The past two days have been like that for me. I slept more than I wanted, procrastinated, and ended up not really doing anything towards my business. All I could manage, to feel like I did something, was plan out a rearranging of my work rooms to hopefully make them more conducive towards productivity and creativity. But, even then, I felt like the act of cleaning was in itself procrastinating from what really matters.
I hate this mental trap. Everything I think and feel during these few days, every single month, I know to not be true. And yet, and yet, I beat myself up.
I am posting this because, first, I am on the other side, at least enough to recognize what is happening and acknowledge the irrational thinking that accompanied me not feeling great these past few days.
But I am also posting to remind all us women that this is normal, and we are not alone. It is okay to let yourself rest. To recover your sanity in any way you can. It is okay to give yourself permission to not work up to the incredibly high standards you put on yourself. And there is nothing wrong with that. And nothing wrong with you.
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