I left, got in my car & shifted reverse ready to drive away. All of the memories came gushing back in. I shifted back into 🅿️
I went to the doctor recently—the same office I’ve been going since I was essentially born. The same place I went for weekly weigh-ins & lab work with my pediatrician during the darkest days of my eating disorder. I walked into the same bathroom & looked in the same mirror as I did 12 years ago; this was where I’d routinely examine my skeletal body while my mom checked out. I looked in the same mirror in the same bathroom on the same floor of the same building but I did not see the same person.
But tonight I’m not here to compare the girl on the left w/ the girl on the right.
See, I’ve lived at both ends of the spectrum & various points between—I’m truly in awe at how the human BODY & MIND can change so DRASTICALLY. I’m dumbfounded that one can be in a certain physical/psychological state at one point & a COMPLETELY different person at another—somewhere along that timeline connecting those points was a metamorphosis of sorts.
12 years ago I was in a COMPLETELY different, awful place; if you’ve ever been there, you know how hard it is to escape that place (think: barbwire fence enclosing rings of fire beyond a dragon-guarded dungeon on a desolate island in the Bermuda Triangle) Point: against the odds, I got myself out. Sure there was a 💩-ton of struggle & therapy involved, but I pulled through.
This does not warrant a pat on the back, rather, a moment of gratitude, b/c throughout the rollercoaster years of struggle & success, relapse & strides, I’ve identified the purpose it served in my life: equipping me with the experience & empathy necessary to help OTHERS escape the darkness of that dungeon as well; to provide the tools so they may slay their own resident dragon.
You’re struggling; I know the feeling. You feel trapped; it’s the HARDEST thing you’ve had to overcome.bYou are NOT in this alone nor should you be - seek the support you DESERVE. When you’re ready to finally make a change - and you must truly WANT to change - life on the other side can be nothing short of amazing💖 #transformationtuesday