Can’t tell anyone this.......................................…...................Can’t believe I’m actually understanding more about life right now.
Can’t believe I’m actually saying this right now.
Marriage, a wedding day, the wedding events seem to be a girls dream. But why? You have to leave home. You have to leave ur siblings and parents to be somewhere else.
How will home ever be home elsewhere?
Marriage will consist of so many differences, so many things, I will be forced to do that I don’t believe in. Am I going to be a child again having to be told? Having to please? Why am I feeling this way? I’m feeling reality.
I’m not even married yet but I feel it’s so idealised. It’s so wrongly idealised. It isn’t about fun and laughter every day. There will be times of sadness, hate and wanting to just go back to my childhood room.
Marriage isn’t about marrying “ the one “ gosh that doesn’t even exist. Perfection doesn’t exist. That doesn’t mean I don’t value my partner, I do but I don’t value the way it’s portrayed. Marriage will have its struggles, hardships and I’m going to miss home so much.
Currently in wedding planning, I haven’t felt an adult. But I am. I am an adult. Am I walking into something that will make me feel like a child again?
I don’t believe in having to please society and the community. I don’t care about what others say so why do my in-laws? Does this mean I’m being “ dolled “ up to just look good for everyone? What about me? I want to scream. I want to go back in time. I wanted this so bad to then realise I don’t want this. Marriage is a lifelong concept. And you can’t go back. It isn’t about smiles 24/7 it isn’t. Asian weddings aren’t just about marrying your partner. Thought I’d feel so wow being a bride but no.Continued below..