Zerstört von allem was war, habe ich nun Angst vor allem was kommt!
Die Wunden die ich in der Klinik mit meinem Therapeuten zusammen begutachtet habe, können oder wollen nicht heilen!
Im Moment falle ich, der Unterschied zum letzten Mal ist, dass ich dieses Mal weiß das ich falle! Doch wirklich hilfreich ist es nicht! Der Wunsch nach Sicherheit hat mich gestern nach Alarmanlagen suchen lassen! Ich will zu Hause sicher sein, doch dieses Gefühl fehlt mir gerade! Mangelnde Sicherheit oder das Gefühl mangelnder Sicherheit macht mich wahnsinnig! Ganz besonders dann, wenn Nachbarn, Bekannte, Freunde oder der Vermieter ohne Vorwarnung klingeln oder vor der Tür stehen und klopfen! Ich ertrage das nicht! Es treibt mich noch mehr in die Angst hinein! Ich fühle mich im Moment nirgends sicher! Ich bin schreckhaft und zurückgezogen!
Ich habe meine Vorboten des ganzen nicht erkannt! Mein Lachen war lauter als das der anderen .... ich habe mehr gelacht um zu überspielen wie es mir geht! Ich habe meine Wand wieder hochgemauert ohne es zu merken!
Nun sitze ich wieder in diesem Gefängnis aus Selbsthass und Selbstzweifel mit dem fehlen von Selbstfürsorge und Selbstwertgefühl!
Da ist wieder dieser Gedanke der immer lauter wird ...........
Nun ja ....... müde von allem........versuche ich einfach zu Atmen!
#justbreathe #triggerwarning #triggerwarnung #selbsthass #selbstzweifel #angststörung #angst #anxiety #anxietydisorder #suicideawareness #whoisrichard92 #selbstfürsorge #i #safeathome #blackandwhite #blackandwhitephotography #ptsd #ptsdawareness #anxietyproblems #anxietyattack
I had no hope in myself and I didn’t want to see the light of day anymore. To sum it up, I was scared to be happy because it didn’t feel like it would be the authentic me. I spent so much of my time lavishing in depression, that I lost sight of who I really was. Who I was wasn’t depression, I was a joyful girl who believed the lies of the mind stuck inside her. I was broken, and I still am. The only difference is- is I can look past these thoughts.
I pray and hope those struggling will be able to make it through like I did because the other end of the story can't even compare to the intensity of sadness I felt. This joy is insanity, and I'm so glad I pushed through.
Apart from that, dear friends, I see the world as a painfully beautiful home. We can’t avoid hurting, it’s part of living. But giving up hope means giving up on any potential happiness, so it truly is giving up. You need to fight. Good things never come easy, its one of the things I repeat to myself daily.
I see the world as a beautiful place where we have one another for support. We have one another to create something beautiful out of the wreckage the world is trying to disguise as beauty. You are not your thoughts, your thoughts are yours- make them something beautiful, and let us start recognizing the difference.
#depression #mentalhealth #recovery #writing #coping #art #sunflower #ED #eatingdisorderrecovery #health #fittness #blogger #blogging #passion #poetry #poem #mentalhealthawareness #anxiety #anxietyhelp #anxietyattack #anxietyquote #depressionquotes #depressionhelp #depressionawareness #depressionsucks #mindovermatter #anxietyconquerer #selfharm
@surrender.sadness @depressionawarenessoffical @anxietyawarenessgroup @depressionofsociety @recovery @selfpublishbehappy
I can’t fucking think anymore without thinking of reasons and ways of killing myself. And not to seem weak or whatever since I am weak as fuck, but people that are my friends hurt my feelings a shit a ton wether they know it or not. It fucking sucks since it adds on to my shit even more. My friend and my crush (they are sister and brother) joke about my crush on him and it sucks. It is already hard enough to deal with my feelings I don’t need them making it worst and my other friend calls me rude and shit and I’m like if I’m so rude then don’t be my friend. I’m not making her be my friend like if she can’t accept my personality then don’t be my friend. I’m also second best to her when our friend we’ll call her g. When g is around then my friend (h) will kind of exclude me and basically cling to g and I’m just there for when g isn’t. I’m always second best and shit. H also used to be hated by everyone until I started to be her friend everyone doesn’t hate her as much and I’m just like people are nicer to you because of me the least you can do is not verbally abuse (not quite abuse but kind of I don’t know how to describe it) me in a way. She doesn’t do it all day everyday, but sometimes after she says stuff to me I feel like shit after. H also whines a lot and she has been annoying me. I just want to go a week without talking to h, g, family, and other friends. I just want to be alone, but I can’t. I have been trying to stop talking g and h (just for a little bit), but every single fucking time they fucking bug me to explain. I just can’t with either of them. Because everyday now I feel like shit even more. Last night was rough I just laid on my bedroom floor and just thought about suicide and I was so close to just ending it all. Also I don’t care anymore about anything, I don’t care if I seem selfish because trust me I know that there are other people with problems and that I’m not the only one. I have just become numb again.
Loneliness isn't always about not having people who care about you. Sometimes, it also isn't about not having friends and a circle to chill out with. You can have a lover, a perfect relationship and still feel dark, gloomy, lonely, dejected and absolutely abandoned.
At times, loneliness is about dancing at a pub with who you call 'your best friends' and suddenly having an extreme feeling that makes you feel that hollow pit in your stomach and BOOM, you start to feel like the most isolated person on Earth even after being with hundreds of people jumping around you.
Sometimes, loneliness is about having people in your life and still contemplating who to reach out to in the middle of a panic attack.
Loneliness is about stuffing your face in the pillow at 3am just so that no one comes to know that you're crying and are vulnerable.
Loneliness can occur to us in our absolute best as well as our worst. Usually, it's a feeling that makes us want to reach out but at the same time, refrains us by giving us all sorts of fearful thoughts about seeking help.
At Samaritans, we primarily understand the terror of people in speaking about their feelings. Absolutely free from judgements and with complete confidentiality, we try to create a comfortable space where one can talk about absolutely any kind of issue that bothers them.
We try to understand your battle and help you share your story with us. Please talk to us. Reach out for help! Take your time. We are here for you.
Artwork by Arshiya Uraizee @arts_ig
#SamaritansMumbai #loneliness #suicide #suicideprevention #mondayblues #isolation #scarythoughts #depression #anxietyattack #hope #talkathon #youarenotalone #takeyourtime #speaktoheal #wecare #mentalhealth #instamentalhealth #seekhelp #itsokaytonotbeokay #breakthestigma #beyou #dontjudge #soulart #blacknwhite
This little bottle has saved me 🙏🏻 it can be tough living with anxiety but I have this guy in my corner💪🏻 I know how it can feel to have sped up thoughts and anxious about driving- SO many things effect you when you have anxiety but I promise it can be better and you can start to feel better and hopefully function better each day! We will have our moments, I know, but WE can get through them! 👊🏻😘
If you have questions about 🌱CBD oil, benefits of it, how it’s helping me - DM me! It is SOOO important to get a good, high quality oil (which is why I did TONS of research!) 🖤
Credit to @foodfactstoday
: 🙌🏻viparita Karina Pose🙌🏻
This pose also gives blood circulation a gentle boost toward the upper body and head, which creates a pleasant rebalancing after you have been standing or sitting for a long time. -
If you are stressed, fatigued, or jet-lagged, this pose is especially refreshing. -
When you relax with your legs up the wall, you are practicing the polar opposite of activity, which is receptivity. Some Additional Benefits include...
•Soothes menstrual cramps (some yoga traditions advice against doing Viparita Karani during menstruation)
•Relieves lower-back pain
Post by @consciousvibrancy
#poses #yogaposes #anxiety #anxietyattack #yogaeverydamnday #yogacommunity
Hey guys and I’m sorry that I haven’t been very active here (although i still check DMs at least once a day). I have been feeling very down and depressed. With this has come a lot of fatigue. I’m finding it hard to motivate myself to get out of bed. The good news is that I am getting out of bed and doing things even though it takes every last morsel of energy and will power to do so. That’s still a win, right? I’ve been battling very negative thoughts about my life and my success. I’m struggling with understanding the direction of my life and also trying to make sense of what I’m supposed to be doing. I feel like I have done everything right yet I am not successful like others. This is very hurtful to accept simply because I tried so hard to do everything society wants us to do. Like get an education and pick a career path. After graduating i have not been able to find work in my field and I have been applying for 3 years. That’s right THREE. It seems like everyone around me is doing so amazing and having amazing lives. Then, today I stumbled upon this quote and it really caught my attention. It was reminder that I’m not the only one who feels the depression of IG. It’s hard not to compare yourself and your life to all of what we see bombarding us every time we open our app. I’ve become mindful and set a timer on my IG to allow one hr of it per day. I don’t always oblige by this timer but it’s there and I’m mindful of how much time I spend on here. It can be a great distraction but it can also be very harmful. Just want to remind and reassure you that your life is still beautiful if it doesn’t look like the ones on the explore page. Your happiness still matters even if it doesn’t fit the cookie cutter expectation, if it makes YOU feel happy that’s the only thing that matters.
OMG! I officially hate the airport! I never drive here alone - coming to pick up my kids after thier honeymoon & using GPS on the phone but because of road construction had me driving in a never ending circle going no where! Finally found a way out & gave up on GPS!
#faithfamilyfashion #anxietyattack #ihateairports #gpsneedsanupdate
Hello everyone! First of all i just want to say sorry to you for my English because I have learned it watching movies and listening to music.Im a 24 years old girl who comes from a small country in Europe. Are you asking yourself why im talking like this or why this should be important for you to read ? .Maybe you are right maybe for you isn't important. But Today i tooked the courage to talk with you a little bit about myself. After reading a lot about young people problems I decided to share with you my own sufferings. When i was i child i was really joyful, happy, with a lot of courage and full of living desire ( if i can call it like this) , but i never thought that i will transform like this.Some years ago i was diagnosed with Anemia in an aggravated stage and doctors didn't gave any hope to my parents,everyone was waiting for a miracle, I suffered a lot I remember myself crying everyday, and i couldn't eat for a lot of days as a result i lost almost 16 kg in 3 weeks.But i wanted so badly to live and after a Big fight i did it . I was released from that ugly and stupid Anemia.But after some months when I finally thought everything was OK , i was hospitalized again, this time they told me that i need to talk with a psycholog because I was suffering from anxiety... I was all the time thinking that i was dying, I was afraid I was going crazy and it was very difficult to fight because I was all alone in this Beatle. As a result I locked myself in the house and i lost almost all of my friends because nobody understood me .
My family couldn't fight with me because they didn't know how to help me . I have 2 years that im fighting very badly to be strong and happy again because except everything I have social anxiety as well.Isn't easy for me to talk about this topic but I just tooked the courage because I know there are a lot of people suffering as well, maybe less maybe more , because life is like this .But sharing our stories maybe we can help someone else, or maybe we can help ourselves.If you want to share your story as well DM me and i will share it .Maybe someone will take the courage by reading it . Remember you are strong enough ...
👆🏼👆🏼 that’s me in the passenger seat!! Impromptu exposure therapy today. My aunt was coming over to pick something up & asked if I wanted to go to an open house with her, I thought I can do this! It was only a few miles away and we went to a few houses and I did great!! I get carsick and I like to be the driver and don’t like being in cars with ppl I’m not used to, especially with them driving. I can’t remember the last time I rode passenger!!Yesterday I had to pick my hubby up 45 min away, that went well! Then we went 1.5 hrs to a family thanksgiving, that went great! I’m sick with a cold and woke up in a panic last night as I felt like I couldn’t breath. I wanted to call my husband to come home, but I quickly calmed down. I wanted to relax today bc of my cold, but I had so much I wanted to do! Before noon, I went to the grocery store & CVS. Even though my hubby’s working all day, I had a good, productive, relaxing day! #anxiety #anxious #anxietyattack #anxietydisorder #agoraphobia #agoraphobic #healthanxiety #panic #panicattack #panicdisorder #depressed #depression #ptsd #gad #exposuretherapy #healthanxiety #mentalillness #mentalillnesstreatment #mentalillnessrecovery #mentalillnessawareness
#mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #mentalhealthtreatment
40 million people suffer from an anxiety disorder in the United States alone. Let's start talking openly about what life with mental illness is really like, it's more common than you think. 🖤 #letstalkaboutmentalhealth
Depois de um dia maravilhoso como esse é um prazer dar boa noite. Estar com meus irmãos e sobrinhos aquece a minha alma e o meu coração. Já estou ansiosa pela terça-feira. E finalmente a Tim resolveu nosso problema de internet. Agora estou assistindo "Ozark" e daqui a pouco vou assistir a um filme. Amanhã é dia de ortopedista pra ver a tendinite na bunda e o problema da artrite psoriática antes que dê merda. A partir de amanhã estou definitivamente de volta a academia. Tá na hora de eu me cuidar. Desejo a vocês uma noite tranquila e cheia de paz com sonhos maravilhosos. Boa noite pessoal!
After a wonderful day like this, it's a pleasure to say good night. Being with my brother and sister and nephews and niece warms my soul and my heart. I'm already looking forward to Tuesday. And finally, Tim solved our internet problem. Now I'm watching "Ozark" and in a moment I'm going to watch a movie. Tomorrow is an orthopedic day to see tendonitis in the butt and the problem of psoriatic arthritis before it get worse. Tomorrow I'm definitely back to the gym. It's time for me to take care of myself. I wish you a peaceful and calm night with wonderful dreams. Good night people!
#bipolar #bypolarix #bipolardisorder #ptsd #adhd #mania #depression #anxiety #psychosis #psychiatry #mentalillness #dailybattle #nevergiveup #brokenbrain #intrusivethoughts #controlledmedication #anxietyattack #breathless #mentalhealth #family #sundaynight #domingo #goodnight #boanoite #netflix #ozark
Here’s a poem I just wrote a few minutes ago about being blamed for something that I shouldn’t be blamed for. It’s not my fault...
I am not a victim of the past
Nor am I a culprit of the future
I stand up for what is right
I believe in a world without fright
So don’t tell me I am to blame
My past shouldn’t be held in shame
It’s not my doing, it’s just not right
I’m not being blamed for my own sight.
- Samantha Ewing
#poem #poetry #victim #victimblaming #shame #vulnerability #depression #anxiety #anxious #anxietyattack
and I shot this video on an iPhone a couple of months ago. I postponed this video until today ‘cause it felt too uncomfortable to post it, since it’s a very sensitive topic. But fuck it, I think a lot of people can relate to this. Our generation has to deal with mental illnesses on a large scale. People from previous generations complain about that, but wtf? Fuck them and their opinion, ‘cause they don’t know how it is to grow up in society in this day and age. I think we should listen to ourselves.
New coffee shops. Cold weather. Comfy (Slughorn-esque), dilapidated chairs. Change is good. ~ Kaity
Ring, ring! Anxiety is a calling for attention from within. It’s a calling from parts of you that require your undivided attention. Parts that have needs. True needs that must be met in order to feel better. Try asking yourself what is needed inside instead of ruminating on every thought that fires into your head. There’s always a deeper calling. Thoughts are defence mechanisms to avoid what is needed because there are other parts of you that have a different agenda. This is an agenda to distract from being vulnerable, having your emotions or revisiting painful memories. ❤️ #anxiety #intrusivethoughts #anxietyrelief
This book is called ‘I am Anxiety’, and for quite a few years that was true for me. In fact, once upon a time it was all there was.
No happiness. No joy. No excitement about the future. Just anxiety. Thankfully it hasn’t ruled my life for quite some time, but I‘ll never forget how bad things were when it did.
If you’ve found your way to this post or my site -then it’s quite possible that anxiety is currently ruling your life or ruling the life of someone you care about. I’d like to help you change that.
‘I am Anxiety’ isn’t true for me anymore. I hope this book can help you change your story - just as I changed mine.
Find out more at www.iamanxiety.net #anxiety #anxietyfree #anxietyrelief #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealth #anxietyattack #anxietyhelp