Happy sunday everyone! For breakfast i had unmeasured(!!) millet porridge with frozen berries made on almond milk with kiwi, banana, blueberries coconut shrims and agave syrup(!!). I’ve never used any sweetener in my meals especially in porridges, I’ve always had it basically flavorless, just pulp with some fruits. But today millet porridge tasted 100 times better with agave syrup! ✨
It was a really exhausting but successful week, of course there was the moment of guilt, sadness, anger and panic and it happened at Friday (of course after eating pizza with my girlfriend lol, I mean my stomach started to hurt badly so unpleasant thoughts came in and I started crying), but hey I tried and I did it, my emotions and brain just started messing up with me. I’m still going to fight.
Also I broke my rule of weighting myself only at Mondays. Firstly it helped me stop checking my weight everyday, but then it resulted with having obsession that I’m allowed to weigh myself at Mondays. I did it this morning, I seriously thought my weight gonna drastically go up but for two weeks it’s staying the same. And I was shooketh because I ate A LOT for past week. But I guess my metabolism started to work normally and also my mum said I’m more energetic than I was, so yeah remember that food really is a fuel and you’re not gonna gain a shit ton of weight, of course you’ll gain in some cases, this is what your body needs to function in first place!! Also I did a memo with things I need to remember, it’s cliche but it helps me💛
Have a nice day bees!🐝💕
#eatittobeatit #edrecoverywarrior #edrecoveryfamily #eatingdisorderrecovery #edrecovery #edrecoveryfood #foodisfuel #nourishtoflourish #anarecovery #anorexiarecovery #porridge
The last couple of days have not been good. My #anxiety
has been skyhigh, there have been loud thoughts telling me I’m not good enough and all sorts of things. Yesterday it resulted in a very bad anxietyattack. So today I’m not sure how I’m feeling, but I challenged myself for #breakfast
and toasted my sandwichbread, which I haven’t done in forever and I never got over my fear of it. •
I encourage you to challenge youself today 🌻 And if you can’t today, that’s okay too. Remember not to push yourself too hard 🐛🦋
Buongiorno e buona domenica! ☀️ Vi scrivo mentre un autobus 🚎 pieno di ragazzi sta portando anche me a Segovia, per una piccola gita fuori porta. Non ho ancora conosciuto nessuno e molti sono già organizzati con i loro gruppetti. Ma non voglio lasciarmi condizionare dai soliti pensieri: oggi mi prendo per mano e mi dico che non fa niente, che non è colpa mia. Non fa niente se il posto accanto a me è occupato da un ragazzo con gli auricolari che non ha trovato due sedili liberi e vicini per lui e la sua amica; non è colpa mia se non ho ancora parlato con nessuno se non per dare il mio nome e il mio numero di telefono; non fa niente se alla fine della giornata non avrò fatto amicizia con nessuno. Mi regalo questo giorno, comunque vada e qualunque cosa mi riservi. A partire dalla fantastica colazione di stamattina: pancakes ai mirtilli (preparati ieri sera) con skyr ai mirtilli, mirtilli e cocco rapè 🥥. Per i pancakes ho utilizzato un uovo 🥚, un cucchiaio di farina di semola, un cucchiaio di farina di riso, uno di farina di castagne 🌰 e uno di farina di mandorle (queste ultime acquistate ieri, sfuse, in un negozietto fantastico 😍), poco lievito, qualche goccia di liquiflav alla vaniglia @bulkpowders_it
e una manciata di mirtilli. Ho mescolato il tutto in una tazza, ho lasciato riposare in frigo per una mezz'oretta e poi ho cotto i miei pancakes in una padella antiaderente leggermente unta. Il risultato? Spettacolare! 🤩 I vostri programmi per questa domenica? Le vostre colazioni? 🤗👇🏻
Recovery~ I’ll start tomorrow - no we have to start right now
It’s hard- yes it’s hard but you are stronger than them challenges and voices
I’m tired of fighting this - yes your tired but you that’s no excuse to stop fighting Remember when you was in that dark place you was able to keep pushing your body more through over excercise when your body was tired your mental capacity still overridden the physical capacity and u still pushed and pushed until you collapsed. So don’t tell me your not strong enough because u were strong enough to keep pushing and pushing your body through excercise so you have enough will power to keep pushing through that “ can’t do it feeling “ or im not sick enough feeling” sick and that sometimes feeling like your in a never ending battle. Your war will end. But only as soon as you begin to accept your body for what it is by nourishing yourself, resting, cutting back on that excercise and letting it flourish. It’s hard accepting the real u but trying to be something your not will never lead to happiness just more depression and sadness. Happiness comes from within and once u see the body U live in as a temple and treat it like one, happiness will begin to peak through into your life. ITS ALL DOWN TO YOU!! #edrecovery #anorexiarecovery #foodphotography #foodstagram #foodpics #foodporn #foodisfuel #foodblogger #instafood #foodie #strongnotskinny #realrecovery #like4like #follow4follow
I had such an affirming talk with @emilycapellims
last week about how the diet mentality sneaks back in whenever we use any arbitrary, external measures to determine our self worth (or the worth we ascribe to others). I’m so grateful for the support of peers who share the belief that we are all in this together (this being the dismantling of diet culture, white supremacy and the patriarchy). We are all more than numbers—any of them.
Seguo molti profili “alimentari”e se c’è una cosa che noto , è la varietà dei prodotti utilizzati, ne elenco alcuni: yogurt magro bianco, greco, petto di tacchino, gallette, biscotti tipo magretti , plasmon o pavesini, petto di pollo, merluzzo, quark magro o fiocchi di latte, tonno al naturale (o super naturale, la genialata del marketing odierno ), fiocchi di avena al naturale , dietor, e... credo possa bastare. Aggiungo che per anni la mia dispensa è stata questa. Qualche volta c’era uno yogurt alla frutta, concesso però nei giorni in cui mi muovevo troppo. Quale volta c’era il tonno d’oliva preso per sbaglio, rigorosamente sciacquato sotto l’acqua corrente per almeno tre volte. La risposta al “ma ti piace?” Era sì, ovvio. Me ne ero proprio convinta. E vi dico che alcune convinzioni le ho ancora : il tonno lo compro spesso al naturale, ci metto l’olio della mia Puglia, ma se mamma compra quello normale, non lo sciacquo. Uso a volte il dietor. Ma no, non me la racconto più sulla questione “yogurt al naturale è più buono”, o peggio , il petto di tacchino. Ora vario: a volte il prosciutto cotto, a volte lo zucchero, sempre il pane e la pasta. Perché le gallette non mi piacciono. Possono piacere queste cose? Beh chi sono io per dire il contrario. Quello che non mi torna è che piaccia proprio alla maggior parte delle persone che hanno un dca o che sono a dieta. È un caso? Vorrei pensarla così, ma so bene in cuor mio che la risposta è un’altra. Non sto a dirvi quello che dovete mangiare, sono qui a dirvi di essere sincere, almeno con voi stesse. Io mangiavo lo yogurt bianco perché avevo paura dello zucchero. Mangiavo il petto di tacchino perché era consigliato per chi era a dieta. Mangiavo il tonno al naturale perché le calorie erano la metà. E mangiavo i fiocchi di latte perché era il formaggio meno calorico in assoluto. Poi ho provato a cambiare. Ho provato a provare un dose piccola di mozzarella, poi di yogurt normale, poi di salmone, poi di carne rossa, poi di pasta. Poi ho comprato i pan di stelle. Che tanto era meglio uno a colazione che un pacco tra qualche mese, in preda all’abbuffata. Oggi non me la racconto più: una mozzarella a cena 🔽
Porridge with soya yogurt. Feeling a bit meh today. Probably just overtired and emotional, but already wishing it were bedtime. And that familiar wanting time to pass but then what? What am I actually going to do then? I’ve got cleaning, washing, food shopping and dog walking to be done today so I’ll create some structure. I may email my therapist too as he’s away this week and there’s some stuff I want to capture from this week’s session that may disappear when I see him in two weeks time. Maybe I don’t have such an empty day after all! And amazingly, after yesterday’s 20 miles, it’s only a dull ache I am experiencing in both knees. No fracture site pains, no aching muscles, not even my toenail that is coming off is hurting. Just a dull ache in both knees. Maybe I can actually do this marathon?! #anorexiarecovery #vegan #injuredrunner
with banana 🍌 and blackberries. In the summer up at our horses, we always used to pick the blackberries from the tree with my family and we would plan on cooking them in a blackberry pie 🥧 but we’d end up eating them whilst we were on our way home so then there would be none left. But anyway they were still really good and it was something that I couldn’t do last year but I know I will be able to do it this year😆💗
i’m almost 16
in the body of an 11 year old
with the pains of a 70 year old
it makes me so angry
that anorexia was able to trick me
into ruining the very instrument
the universe gave me to look after🐼
you don’t have to earn food
you need it.
everyday. all day.
no matter what happened yesterday,
the day before,
or what your plans are tomorrow.
you need food.
that’s the only way we can look after our gift from the universe !1!1!
F O O D ! .
#ed #edrecovery #an
> breakfast <
Cette nuit j’ai encore très mal dormi, j’ai du m’endormir vers 00h30 pour me réveiller à 6h... ça fait environ une semaine que je dors mal et ça commence à devenir assez chiant 😓 je pense que c’est le stress du au Bac Blanc qui arrive. Même si je ne stress pas la journée je pense que ça se répercute sur mon sommeil 👍
Sinon ce matin je me suis régalée, le beurre de cacahuète c’est tout ma vie 😍 (triste vie dans ce cas là 😂)
▪️beurre de cacahuète
▪️yaourt au lait de chèvre
Ce matin je vais faire un peu de sport (et sans doute yoga car ça doit faire 2 semaines que je n’en n’ai pas fait et ça me manque!)🧘♀️
Ensuite je vais faire des fiches de révisions, de l’histoire, des maths (un pur bonheur) et de la SES❤️
C’est terrible de devoir passer ses vacances à réviser 😭
Et vous, vous faites quoi de beau aujourd’hui? 😘💛
#edfighter #realrecovery #anafighter #anorexiarecovery #anorexierecovery #breakfast #morning #health #healthy #healthybreakfast #peanutbutter #recovery #recoveryispossible #recoveryisworthit #toast #toasts
Happy Sunday guys♥️ A bowl of porridge from a couple days ago!
About to do spin then off for a coffee date with a friend♥️ Have a lush Sunday all!
Tw?-Hey guys✨ I’m sorry for not posting but tbh I really don’t wanted to. The last days I struggled very hard and relapsed. I startet counting calories again and didn’t allowed myself any kind of sweets.☹️😔I hope that it gets better now as I’ve talked to my best friend who supports me so much. 💖 I will try to post more often but it’s kind a stressful time in school atm so I don’t know if I have the time and mindset to do so. 🙇🏼♀️ #strongagainstanorexia #beatanorexia #anorexiafighter #recovery #anorexiarecovery #edrecovery #struggles #bestrong
▪This was yesterday's lunch.
▪It was so freaking terrifying but I did it!!
▪THANK YOU GUYS FOR THE 1.2K, OUR FAMILY KEEP GROWING AND I'M VERY HAPPY I CAN HELP, AT LEAST, SOME OF YOU!!❤❤
‘Start over my darling. Be brave enough to find the life you want and courageous enough to chase it. Then start over and love yourself the way you were meant to.’
TW Body Check!! Hi 😊
I've been out of treatment since almost two weeks now and I really underestimated that.
I don't know how to maintain my weight and struggle to even hit 800 kcal and if I do I always purge 😭
But I feel so fat and miss being skinny so much (2nd pic is me rn)
Well, but maybe when I document my "recovery" (can't really call it that when I'm losing weight again lol) here I have more motivation 🌈
Instagram vs reality; just a few hours before this picture I was sitting crying to my mum about how anxious and depressed I’ve been feeling. Truthfully, these past few days have been so tough. My anxiety has escalated again and I keep thinking what is the point, what’s the point in keeping on going? Why can’t I just be normal and live my life like a normal person. On the way home from uni on Friday I just broke down to my mum and again in work yesterday I broke down. I feel scared, and I don’t even know what I’m scared of. I decided I wasn’t going to go out last night but my friends persuaded me to go even if I only went for a few hours. I’m so glad I went because it actually turned out to be a good night and I’m proud that I pushed myself out of my comfort zone to go. I will get back to that sociable, happy girl I was a few weeks ago!
Nieuwe dingen bij de @albertheijn
😍. Deze sneetjes gehaald om mezelf een keer mee uit te dagen 🙈. ••
Hoe gaat het met jullie? Ik heb een vrij heftige week achter de rug maar heb ook goede gesprekken gehad. Thuis ging het ook minder en na een aantal flinke ruzies en tranen is het nu weer oke. Ik zag het even niet meer zo zitten en door de bomen het bos niet meer. Toch is het ergens gelukt om mezelf weer bijeen te pakken na een goede therapiesessie. Qua eten weer oppakken en besloten om op te (moeten) hogen wat ik doodeng vindt 😳. Ook niet meer weglopen voor Mn problemen en gedachtes. Ik zet nu voor mezelf dagelijks haalbare doelen en uitdagingen en ga dit NIET compenseren!! Zo heb ik gisteren een chai tea latte gedronken op een terrasje 🥛. Eindelijk kan dat weer met dit mooie weer! Het weer draagt zeker bij aan een betere stemming maar maakt ook dat ik veel flashbacks krijg naar vorig jaar waar ik rond deze periode nauwelijks nog een stap kon zetten. Daar wil ik niet meer naar terug dus des te meer redenen om door te zetten en te blijven vechten, hoe lastig ook. Fijne zondag nog iedereen ✨🍀.
1 yogurt con due bicchieri di cereali
Mi piacciono tantissimo questi cereali perché sono semplici ma buoni. Stranamente dopo mangiato non ho avuto sensi di colpa o pensieri. Alla fine ieri ero uscita a cena con la mia migliore amica e ho mangiato quasi tutta la crepe ( che ho messo nelle storie) e anche una coppetta media di gelato alla nocciola.Appena finito di mangiare ho avuto un sacco di pensieri e non avevo più voglia di stare con lei ma volevo solo stare da sola. Se avete voglia scrivetemi in direct.
#recovery #recoverytwin #recoverywarrior #anorexia #anorexiarecovery
It’s only February, but I am so excited for summer😝
I can’t wait for daily smoothie bowls, beach, tans, water fights and endless fruit picking🍓😋
Swipe for some thick oats🙌🏻
Still taking each day as it comes this holiday, with tons of recovery wins.
For example, if you saw my story, last night at 9:15ish I had a mc Donald’s as a snack!! Along with a punnet of raspberries and strawberries because I really craved them 🤷♀️💪🏻
And even though I haven’t seen my therapist in 2 months, I am feeling the best I have in years.
I am healthy, have my period, feel good around food, very happy with my grades at school, way more confident socially. This is ALL because of recovery.
The whole of last year was hell, but THANK GOD I fought through it, because I wouldn’t feel this way if I didn’t.
It seems impossible and terrifying, but it’s worth it.
Think of it like a job, you need to work really hard to get more money, like eating becomes your JOB and the more work you put in, the more you get out.
I am feeling great.
I have bad days but they are worth moments like this.
You can do this.
I love you
Решила сегодня поговорить о том, что я чувствовала, когда болела анорексией
Люди, которые встречают людей с этой болезнью говорят:”возьми да поешь, что сложного, это же просто еда. Ты очень худая, зачем ещё. Дура что-ли?“ Для анорексиков это не просто еда, а что-то безумно плохое, то, от чего они потолстеют (а это самое страшное). В каждом кусочке еды я видела отраву, боялась ее, точнее боялась от неё поправиться. По началу было очень классно не хотеть кушать, но со временем вместе с весом меня начали покидать и силы.. мне было уже плевать на все, раздражал каждый звук, запахи, люди, единственный человек, от которого я не отходила - Мама. Но не смотря на все это, мне казалось, что я жирная, что мои ноги размером с бочку, живот выпирает, бока свисают, щеки огромные. А когда мне все говорили, что меня ветром сдует и это ненормально, внутри что-то ликовало и говорило:“вот видишь, ты на верном пути, давай дальше худеть“. •
#мысли #мысливслух #анорексия #анорексиядневник #ана #жизнь #диета #еда #блог #фото #любовь #рпп #рппдневник #anorexia #anorexiarecovery #recovery #love #live #blogger #photography #eat #diet #style #makeup #sport #girl #photographer #look #model #hot
Grill'd garden goodness burger for dinner 🍔
Even managed to have some chips!
Had a lovely day with my boyfriend and parents. We went in a big estate/garden kinda thing for a picnic, I had a ham and gherkin relish sandwich which was a massive win cause its my 2nd ever sandwich with filling since recovery! I also made my boyfriend some sandwiches which was fun. I've been incredibly open with my parents and bf with my anxieties around eating out so they made sure I was comfortable and it turned out to be a really stress free day.
Horrible body image day. Wanted to restrict so bad. Can't manage dessert but my meal plan only days every second day anyway, probably because my dietitian can see better than I can that having dessert more often would be overwhelming and lead to restriction. I feel like I've gained weight, even though if anything I've lost or at worst maintained. Plus I need to gain weight anyway wtf lol. I want so bad to go back to eating my safe amount of calories, the 100 calorie increase is freaking me out but I'm still barely eating enough. Idk if because I know I'm eating more the anorexia is telling me I look bigger. Anyway I hope tomorrow I feel better.
#anorexiarecovery #edrecovery #eatingdisorder #eatingdisorderrecovery #food #foodie #fearfood #recovery #ed #eatittobeatit #recoveryisworthit #foodisfuel #realrecovery #prorecovery #foodporn #edfood #realrecoveryfood #edrecoveryfood
Mine are FINALLY HERE and I could throw a party for that!
At least I'm congratulating myself for everything I've gone through for reaching this "level" of recovery.
After 12 years living without natural menstruation/menstruation at all (I decided not to use birth control/other hormonal solutions to get my periods, after many years struggling with unpleasant effects they caused) my body finally made a signal that my hormonal functions are now in quite good condition. Am I glad or what? OH MY GOD (whatever that is) YES. .
Getting my natural periods is one of the most concrete proofs about how far I've gotten on my recovery. I consider and feel myself recovered and this is the most amazing thing I've experienced. .
My physical body is working. My bodily functions are normalizing.
My mind is not trapped.
I see myself as a team formed by my mind and body.
I don't see myself as a structure of bits and pieces.
I don't despise my body.
I don't have a need to exercise compulsively.
I like to eat, I enjoy eating.
I'm not afraid of eating in front of others.
I want to take care of myself.
Food and eating aren't expressing moral implications for me anymore.
Ed-thoughts are so, so, so silent if they appear, and my own voice has power to mute that whispering.
For as long as I can remember my greatest wish has been to live a life without an eating disorder, to sense how and what is this reality that I've been unable to live.
This realm of freedom, as I thought this reality that I'm now living is, is what I call living.
And yes, I thought that the day of my first natural periods would never come but yet it did, in age of 26.
Revocery is possible.
You can get there.
#anorexiarecovery #edrecovery #menstruation #periods #bodyacceptance #selfacceptance #foodfreedom #appreciation #selflove #selfcare #health #recoveryispossible #recoveryisworthit #fuckdietculture #edwarrior #body #syömishäiriö
My dream breakfast situation 🤗
Avocado 🥑, frozen banana 🍌 , spinach, almond milk and cinnamon blended up into the creamiest green smoothie bowl and topped with all my favourite things: raw chocolate drizzle, hemp hearts, berries, cacao nibs, @deliciouslyella
granola and of course @manilife_
peanut butter. When the chocolate sauce hits the cool smoothie it forms a magic shell - heaven 😍. If you had to eat one breakfast on repeat what would it be? 🧐🥞
Don't know how much longer I can go on pretending I am OK.