Yesterday evening I was at a friend's birthday party, afterwards we spent the night together at her place. There was a lot of food, and before I was so afraid of that. But I didn't want my anorexia to destroy it. So I ate a lot, sweets, chocolate, chips, pancakes... And I'm so glad that I did it. It was such a wonderful party, we laughed so much ... I won't let my illness destroy my life!
#ana #anarecovery #anorexiarecovery #anorexia #ed #edrecovery #food #pancakes #party
Love the body you’re in; you don’t get another one🙅🏻♀️🙊! I actually can’t believe I’m posting this and that I’m about to say what I’m going to say BUT I woke up absolutely feeling myself today🤷🏻♀️ and while I may sound very big headed saying that; it’s actually such a huge thing for me to admit that! Like, people are judged so much for admitting that they love the body they’re in - now, I don’t love my body: I’m just learning to accept it. I’m learning to accept my flaws and bumps and get on with the fact that this is me! I am me, I am me and no one else!!!! I never EVER would have thought that unless I stayed that size ‘X’, fitting in my 8 year old sisters clothes, that I wouldn’t be confident...well here I am! A healthy weight, size and shape, starting to accept myself and surprisingly, I feel a lot more confident now than I did nearly 3 stone ago! Eating disorders are manipulative arse holes! They mess with your head and unless you start to nourish your brain, it will never think clearly! So what are you waiting for?! Go and fight for your life! Yes there are time where I still want to turn back, but I’m never going to! I can’t! I have to push through this and love the body I’ve been given! And I want you to do the same❤️❤️❤️ -
#anorexia #anorexiarecovery #anorexianervosarecovery #anorexianervosa #anarecovery #ana #strongnotskinny #recoverywin #recovery #recoveryisworthit #edrecovery #eatingdisorderecovery #eatingdisorder #eatingdisorders #eattobeatit #lunch #beatingana #beatinged #ana #anorexianervosa #beatingeatingdisorders #positivity #prorecovery #edrecovery #foodie #foodporn #increase #food #snack #breakfast #mentalhealth #recoverywin #foodie #recoverywin #love
I had one square of this orange and almond dark chocolate (from @floralmelodies.x
) left so I was sort of saving it for a ‘special occasion’... but... why can’t I make today that special occasion? 😉
I won’t lie, the last few days have been really difficult. Something family related that’s quite scary happened yesterday, I’m really stuck in trying to decide what to do next year (and I keep crying over it 🙃), I’ve had to face some of the hardest food possible which previously triggered my worst relapse, the guilt has been horrendous, body image has been horrendous, I really messed up two days ago and to top it all off I’m so behind on work (when am I not?) and ended up having yet another mini breakdown about what a complete and utter failure I am 🙂
So... I think the best thing to do from here is to try to carry on today... to NOT restrict (yes, @ brain, that wont solve all my problems), to try to get up to date on what I can and to not think too hard today about everything that seems to be going wrong so that I don’t go back to school tomorrow in an even worse state. And to appreciate that there are some positives! There’s lots of exciting music events planned for this next half term (my last few weeks of school ahhhhh), some of the problems with how family are treating me have been semi resolved, and I got a new violin this week which is super exciting! Hopefully things will work out okay in the end ✨
My body image has been absolutely appalling oh Lord. 💥PSA💥the fact I’m still underweight and have awful body image issues should show u guys that losing will not improve your confidence! NOT WORTH IT🙅🏻♀️🙅🏻♀️🙅🏻♀️
Anyways here are yesterday’s bites xx
Banana cinnamon oats🍌
A big pot of assorted melon chunks🍈🍉
A red thai chicken and edamame soup from Pret and a passion fruit protein @alpro
A blueberry and cherry vanilla protein shake🍒💙🥛
Prawn steamed dumplings from Itsu with two lovely friends of mine from my old school! Was so great to see them again plus these were especially good once I added sriracha sauce😌🥟
Pumpkin spice oats with a cup of tea in front of the finale of RuPaul’s drag race all stars 4! For those who watch it...what did you think of the result?🎃👑
Hope everyone has a relaxed Sunday💛
Afternoon tea today was (once again) #froyo
So today is the day I finally moved into uni! At first I was absolutely terrified- like no joke, driving to the uni I felt physically sick. But once I got there, unpacked my stuff, went food shopping and got everything sorted I was a whole lot less stressed. The girls who are in my dorm are absolutely lovely too- three of us have the same name tho 😂- so I don’t think I’ll have any troubles getting along with anyone ☺️ tomorrow I start orientation, which I’m also nervous about, but it should be good to get everything finalized and in order 😌
I hope everyone else is having a lovely Sunday ❤️
Oookay. so.. ich muss einiges erzählen.. erstmal, was essen angeht läuft es im Moment für meine Verhältnisse wirklich gut. Ich bin stolz auf mich. Aber, was ich direkt dazu klarstellen möchte, das liegt ABSOLUT NICHT daran, dass meine Eltern das mit der Essstörung jetzt wissen. Und der Gedanke das ein paar bestimmte Menschen das denken könnten macht mich fertig. Deshalb merke ich wie ich um jeden Preis vermeide vor diesen Menschen zu essen, das auch ja niemand denkt „da haben wir ja alles richtig gemacht und ihre Eltern helfen ihr jetzt“. Dieses „da haben wir ja alles richtig gemacht“. Das ist es womit ich nicht klarkomme. Denn Gott heilige scheiße, das hat vieles gemacht, aber nichts besser. Der größten Unterschied, den ich seid dem spüre ist der, das ich nicht mehr vor meiner Mutter essen kann. Auch wenn mein Essverhalten eigentlich grade ganz gut ist, vor ihr essen ist so scheiße schwer. Das war vorher nicht so. Ich habe bevor sie es wusste selbst gemerkt wie „mein Ich“ wenn sie da war versucht hat die Essstörung auszutricksen, weil sie es ja nicht wusste und eh dachte das ich viel esse. Also habe ich im Prinzip unbewusst kleinere essanfälle zu ihr verlegt. Macht das Sinn? Auf jeden Fall konnte ich selbst als es krass schlimm war vor ihr immer ganz normal essen. Das geht seid dem sie es weis überhaupt nicht mehr. Und so wie es im Moment aussieht wird das auch nie wieder anders werden..deshalb regt es mich so verdammt auf das sie denken könnten sie hätten alles richtig gemacht. Damn ich denke viel zu viel über diese Personen nach.. aber es ist nunmal so. Ihr Leben geht weiter. Für die hat sich das(haha) gegessen. Bei mir werde ich tagtäglich daran erinnert. Was mich irgendwie kaputt macht.. und Heyy.. an der Tatsache, das es im Moment so gut läuft sieht man, das ich es allein rausgeschafft hätte hätte man mich einfach the fuck in Ruhe gelassen. Aber dann wurde es erstmal VIEL schlechter, weil ich vor meinen Eltern nicht mehr essen konnte.. argh würde ich gerne die Zeit zurück drehen.. #anarecovery #miarecovery #youareenough #keepfighting #fuckyouana
Happy sunday everyone! For breakfast i had unmeasured(!!) millet porridge with frozen berries made on almond milk with kiwi, banana, blueberries coconut shrims and agave syrup(!!). I’ve never used any sweetener in my meals especially in porridges, I’ve always had it basically flavorless, just pulp with some fruits. But today millet porridge tasted 100 times better with agave syrup! ✨
It was a really exhausting but successful week, of course there was the moment of guilt, sadness, anger and panic and it happened at Friday (of course after eating pizza with my girlfriend lol, I mean my stomach started to hurt badly so unpleasant thoughts came in and I started crying), but hey I tried and I did it, my emotions and brain just started messing up with me. I’m still going to fight.
Also I broke my rule of weighting myself only at Mondays. Firstly it helped me stop checking my weight everyday, but then it resulted with having obsession that I’m allowed to weigh myself at Mondays. I did it this morning, I seriously thought my weight gonna drastically go up but for two weeks it’s staying the same. And I was shooketh because I ate A LOT for past week. But I guess my metabolism started to work normally and also my mum said I’m more energetic than I was, so yeah remember that food really is a fuel and you’re not gonna gain a shit ton of weight, of course you’ll gain in some cases, this is what your body needs to function in first place!! Also I did a memo with things I need to remember, it’s cliche but it helps me💛
Have a nice day bees!🐝💕
#eatittobeatit #edrecoverywarrior #edrecoveryfamily #eatingdisorderrecovery #edrecovery #edrecoveryfood #foodisfuel #nourishtoflourish #anarecovery #anorexiarecovery #porridge
The last couple of days have not been good. My #anxiety
has been skyhigh, there have been loud thoughts telling me I’m not good enough and all sorts of things. Yesterday it resulted in a very bad anxietyattack. So today I’m not sure how I’m feeling, but I challenged myself for #breakfast
and toasted my sandwichbread, which I haven’t done in forever and I never got over my fear of it. •
I encourage you to challenge youself today 🌻 And if you can’t today, that’s okay too. Remember not to push yourself too hard 🐛🦋
Buongiorno e buona domenica! ☀️ Vi scrivo mentre un autobus 🚎 pieno di ragazzi sta portando anche me a Segovia, per una piccola gita fuori porta. Non ho ancora conosciuto nessuno e molti sono già organizzati con i loro gruppetti. Ma non voglio lasciarmi condizionare dai soliti pensieri: oggi mi prendo per mano e mi dico che non fa niente, che non è colpa mia. Non fa niente se il posto accanto a me è occupato da un ragazzo con gli auricolari che non ha trovato due sedili liberi e vicini per lui e la sua amica; non è colpa mia se non ho ancora parlato con nessuno se non per dare il mio nome e il mio numero di telefono; non fa niente se alla fine della giornata non avrò fatto amicizia con nessuno. Mi regalo questo giorno, comunque vada e qualunque cosa mi riservi. A partire dalla fantastica colazione di stamattina: pancakes ai mirtilli (preparati ieri sera) con skyr ai mirtilli, mirtilli e cocco rapè 🥥. Per i pancakes ho utilizzato un uovo 🥚, un cucchiaio di farina di semola, un cucchiaio di farina di riso, uno di farina di castagne 🌰 e uno di farina di mandorle (queste ultime acquistate ieri, sfuse, in un negozietto fantastico 😍), poco lievito, qualche goccia di liquiflav alla vaniglia @bulkpowders_it
e una manciata di mirtilli. Ho mescolato il tutto in una tazza, ho lasciato riposare in frigo per una mezz'oretta e poi ho cotto i miei pancakes in una padella antiaderente leggermente unta. Il risultato? Spettacolare! 🤩 I vostri programmi per questa domenica? Le vostre colazioni? 🤗👇🏻
▪This was yesterday's lunch.
▪It was so freaking terrifying but I did it!!
▪THANK YOU GUYS FOR THE 1.2K, OUR FAMILY KEEP GROWING AND I'M VERY HAPPY I CAN HELP, AT LEAST, SOME OF YOU!!❤❤
Вес немного набрался и даже вернулись критические дни,вроде все стало налаживаться,но что-то не так.
Мой организм будто поделили на две части и одна говорит мне «ты поправилась,пора худеть»,а вторая «не смей,это разобьет и тебя,и его». Как мне с этим бороться? С каждым днем опускаются руки и я перехожу на сторону похудения,но в последний момент останавливаю себя.
Если посмотреть на мой завтрак две недели назад,то в нем было большое содержание белков и углеводов и вообще большая порция,сейчас же это маленькая тарелка овсяной каши на воде и все.
Я попытаюсь поговорить об этом с моим психологом и психотерапевтом,но возможно они опять скажут типичные фразы и скажут «ай,пройдёт».
#a #ed #та #recovery #anarecovery #anorexia #anorexianervosa #ana #анорексия #skinny #bulimia #булимия #bulimianervosa #mia #eatingdisorder #рпп #diet #диета #diary #дневник #дневникпитания #дневникпохудения #правильноепитание #пп #instagram
Breakfasting on weetabix + soya milk + banana🍌! Arrived back from Amsterdam on Friday, can honestly say it was AMAZING😝! Not got any plans for today, what have you all got planned?!?
Also ich fand die leider nicht so lecker 🤨
Hey Leute ❤️
Heute melde ich mich mal schon in der Früh, weil ich heute einiges vorhabe 🥰 Ich werde heute mit meiner ganzen Familie zum Flughafen fahren und dann werden wir dort meinen Bruder abholen, der jetzt seit einem halben Jahr im Ausland war 😍 Allerdings gehen wir dort dann wahrscheinlich essen am Mittag und mittags fällt mir das sowieso schon schwer und noch dazu kennt mein Bruder mein gestörtes Essverhalten nicht so wirklich und deshalb habe ich Angst, was er sagen wird 😓 Dann muss ich heute auch noch Latein lernen, weil wir bald Schulaufgabe schreiben und Spanisch und Geschichte lernen, weil wir diese Fächer morgen haben 😩 Meine Bio Hausaufgabe will ich heute auch noch erledigen und dann halt noch ein paar kleinere Dinge 😅 Ich hoffe ihr habt heute alle einen schönen Tag und bis morgen oder später 😊🙈
Evening everyone, I hope you all had an amazing day💖. Dinner tonight is probably one of my favourite meals at the moment, it's curry brown rice with onion, zucchini, mixed beans, saltanas and creamed corn. I much prefer it with some hummus on top but we ran out a few days ago, but the creamed corn makes it just as thick and creamy.
PTW on this next part
My day wasn't to bad I did go downhill a lil bit around and after lunchtime but I think it's because I haven't been eating properly again😔. I haven't been eating properly for a while now and I lied to everyone about it just because my ED wanted me to. I've been exercising more and eating less in hopes of loosing weight. I know that I can't loose anymore weight but I can't stop myself ever since I found out that I'd gained I've been in full on restricting mode😖. I hate it, I hate it so much, whenever I do this I get so depressed and sad thing is I still want to do it. Why can't I just follow my meal plan like I'm supposed to and why can't I just love normally. Today I've been really hard to change this but I haven't had any luck, my breakfasts have gotten smaller, I don't have a morning snack anymore, my lunches are also getting smaller, I skip afternoon snack whenever I can and my dinners are getting less as well😓. I'm walking everyday again, plus doing lost of manual house work and by the end of day I'm so beat I even stand up properly. And on top of all this my doctor rang us to have a check up appointment for my blood tests I had done last week. I'm really worried about this because I don't want to be overly deficient in anything😒. So have to see my GP tomorrow to see what was wrong with my tests. I'm also seeing my social worker to talk about changing worker because I've moved out the schools zoning. This sucks because I've really build up a good relationship with my social worker and I don't want to see anyone else.
I might not be able to make any posts tomorrow as I'll be really busy and out all day. Anyways I hope you have a peaceful night and fantastic day tomorrow🥰. Love you all💖💕. Remember to believe in yourself, keep fighting and stay strong xxoo.
Dinner is coconut chicken curry with a cup of rice 🍚🍛 TWO HOURS after LUNCH!! is that weird that I’m actually still hungry from lunch when usually I don’t feel hungry?
U N H E A L T H Y F O O D
A toppic very common for people having an ed which I want to tell you more about from my point of view. Maybe you’ll say like, noo not again, but there really is no unhealthy food. Take fries for example, yes they contain fat, but so what? Your body NEEDS fat and even multiple times a week! Or candy, your body NEEDS sugar! It gives us the energy to breath and walk! I’m not saying everything is healthy, an overdose of a food group, I mean, eating pizza every day of the week, can be a little too much. But if you eat it once, twice or maybe three times it is totally okay! The healthiest way of eating is an eating pattern including EVERY food. Carbs, fats, sugars, proteins.. all of them. Your body is made and built to know what’s good for you and I promise, you’ll find a very healthy way of eating by just trusting it. Don’t worry if all you’re craving now is sugary or anything, that’s totally normal. Your body hasn’t got those nutrients for a very long time and just wants to catch up now you’re feeding it again!💛
We went to a winterbar in the nearby park and they sold pancakes! Even though I had eaten pancakes at noon I still craved one and I opted for white chocolate & apricot jam!! 🤤 IF YOU WANT PANCAKES TWICE A DAY, GET PANCAKES TWICE A DAY!!!!! 🥞
#pancake #recovery #anorexiarecovery #anarecovery #anawho #fight #edfighter #ed #edrecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #strongnotskinny #edwarrior #food #lovefood #foodisgood #foodisfuel #prorecovery #hungry #yum #nourishtoflourish #positivity #mentalhealth #healthy #healing #recoveryisworthit #beautiful #delicious #fearfood #recoverywin
So my plans with my friend changed a lot and we ended up singing our hearts out to Taylor Swift and her little sister made us nachos (!!) and I m just eating them kind if care free, she also got me a chocolate bar and we might make pop corn later and watch horror stuff and I am actually full of guilt and fear but also having fun and being happy so I am not leaving ed ruin this for me. I missed my friend so much I want to have a good night. 🌼
I am genuinely suspicious when someone's recovery journey is 'too linear' in terms of nutrition and weight restoration because it makes me feel like we are missing an underlying factor. Recovery is tough - you can expect itll have it's ups and downs. @online_coping_skills
Anni di malattia hanno ridotto la mia vita ad un continuo sprofondare nel dolore, mi sono trovata a vari stadi ed in varie condizioni nell'arco del tempo ma mai avevo raggiunto un limite come quello di adesso ne mai avrei pensato di raggiungerlo. Consumata dalle ossessioni, mille acciacchi fisici, un BMI di 10.9 ed una vita miserabile che della parola 'vita' ha ben poco.
Ho provato a partire e ripartire tante volte optando per strade differenti e, tra percorsi naufragati ed altri mai partiti realmente, ho collezionato fallimenti su fallimenti.
Come vi ho scritto via Stories qualche giorno fa siamo giunti al giro di boa definitivo nel quale, posta di fronte al bivio, non ho più occasione di ritirarmi da una scelta. Domattina la psichiatra si metterà nuovamente in contatto con mio padre per accordarsi sull'incontro che dovranno fare i miei in ospedale nella sede dell'SPDC e vedremo se mi verrà concesso un margine di tempo per dimostrare di volercela mettere tutta questa volta. Piano piano in questi giorni ho provato un approccio differente all'alimentazione ed ho cercato di incrementare le mie dosi in maniera tale da arrivare domani ad un minimo 'accettabile' per cominciare.
Ho seguito molti dei consigli e delle accortezze che mi avete suggerito e ce la sto mettendo tutta perché questa volta NON voglio e NON posso crollare ne tornare indietro. Devo andare avanti e scontrarmi contro questa benedetta paura, devo urlare a squarciagola più forte della malattia per quanto essa sia devastante al momento 😔
Non ho nulla da perdere ed una chance me la devo anche io. Se voglio posso, so che è così. Credo fermamente in una vita fuori dal tunnel nero e mi motivo facendomi forza anche grazie agli esempi che seguo qui ed a tante storie di rinascite che mi danno la speranza che sia tutto raggiungibile con pazienza e perseveranza.
Oggi metto un altro mattoncino al mio percorso, mi incammino finalmente verso il traguardo, sarà un viaggio lungo e pieno di ostacoli ma non sono sola e sono sicura che troverò supporto anche qui con voi famiglia virtuale 👭💛
Abbiate pazienza e vogliate perdonarmi per i mesi di scostanza, incoerenza, ambivalenza.. nei quali non sono stata ne un ⤵️
Good morning guys💕
Schaut euch mein göttliches Frühstück an😍
Ich konnte es selbst kaum glauben, aber ich hab in meiner kleinen Stadt tatsächlich Mini Oreos mit Erdbeerfüllung gefunden - Erdbeerfüllung!!!🍓
Und sie sind so lecker! Also gab's sie als Topping meines gemischten Quarks mit Joghurt😋
Ich bin seit 5:30 Uhr wach, an einem Sonntag, an dem ich absolut nichts zutun und bis 14 Uhr kein Wasser hab😐😂 ich hab mir einen kleinen Wasservorrat angelegt, aber duschen kann ich damit auch nicht, also bleibe ich definitiv bis 14 Uhr in der Wohnung und wenn das Wetter mitspielt, werde ich nach einer schönen Dusche oder einem angenehmen Bad spazieren gehen☺ außerdem wollte ich eh noch etwas Altpapier wegbringen, da wir ja keine blaue Tonne haben und immer zum Container müssen. Desweiteren wollte ich heute mal Yoga ausprobieren, da ich oft Rückenschmerzen habe und vielleicht hilft mir das ja🙈. Spannender wird mein Tag allerdings nicht, also muss ich mal zu sehen, was ich noch so tun kann😅. Erst 2 Tage ohne meinen Freund und keine Freunde in der Nähe und ich langweile mich jetzt schon zu Tode. Dennoch läuft es so weit ganz gut. Das Essen läuft mehr oder weniger wie geplant und auch im Haushalt und mit mir selbst komme ich alleine ganz gut klar, auch wenn mir mein Freund und meine Freunde sehr fehlen. Bis nächsten Freitag muss ich noch alleine ausharren, allerdings habe ich unter der Woche auch einiges zu erledigen und hoffe, dass die Zeit dadurch schnell rum gehen wird☺. Dann ist es auch "nur" noch eine Woche bis mein Schatz wiederkommt und ich wieder jeden Tag mit ihm verbringen kann💑. Am Montag habe ich wieder einen Arzttermin, übrigens waren meine Blutwerte soweit ganz gut, abgesehen von meinen Eisenwerten, die sind ziemlich schlecht. Das wundert mich allerdings nicht, meine Ärztin sagte mir auch, dass viele Frauen damit ein Problem haben, also bekomme ich in der nächsten Woche eine Eisenspritze und versuche meine Ernährung dementsprechend umzustellen, denn viele Eisentabletten enthalten Aluminium und deswegen möchte ich es vermeiden, welche zu nehmen. Somit wird in der nächsten Woche ganz viel rote Beete gekauft☝ und auch etwas Fleisch. Hoffentlich wird es...👇
APPPLE & BLACKBERRY OAT BREAKFAST BAKE (recipe below 👇)
Delightfully Sweet, chewy & crispy oat bake. Warm outter with a goeey center filled with cooked juicy apple & blackberry With refreshing creamy soya yogurt; Together a fruity thick infusion to die for •1 cup of blackberries
•1 cup chopped apple
•3/4 cups oats
•1/4 tsp ginger
•1/2 tsp cinnamon
• 1 tbsp coconut oil
•1 cup almond milk
• 1/4 cup chopped walnuts
•1/4 cup maple syrup
heat your oven to 180° Grease a small pie dish. In a bowl add all ingredients (leave out 1/2 cup of apple & blackberries) spoon mixture into pie dishes. Bake for about 25 min or until topping is golden brown. Serve warm with @alpro
yogurt , maple syrup & the rest of the apple
Morning lovelies 💚 it's that day everyone waits for, Sunday "the day of rest"
Do you really rest on Sundays though?
Throwback to Sundays as a child 💚 I was either out playing football or cuddled up to my dad watching some rugby, not forgetting the sweets & snacks. What do you remember your Sundays being like as a child?
Sometimes when I'm feeling a bit stuck I always think back to the good old days, the freedom 💚 it never fails to spark a warm feeling inside me. TRY IT 😜 today IL be thinking back because I'm still feeling a little alone 😣 TRY and remember that POSITIVITY will block the negative thoughts that overwhelm you during tough times. Stay POSITIVE and you'll achieve more than what you set yourself up for. Have a lovely day 💚
#veganrecipes #veganrecovery #veganinspo #veganism #plantbased #recipes #delicious #edwarrior #nourishnotpunish #nodiet #bodypositive #mentalhealthrecovery #anarecovery #eatittobeatit #veganfood #freefrom #dairyfree #plantpower #recoverywarrior #ana
! I’ve managed to have a super productive day today, went for a run this morning and came home and applied for a uni course I’m really hoping I get into 👏🏼 this is been a couple of days I’ve been increasing my food intake and although I’m feeling mostly positive I’m freaking the fuck out, I know I’m not losing control and I know I need to get better to study it’s just so hard! 😔
had some really yummy food today though, was only going to have one slice of pizza for lunch but I was still hungry so I thought ‘I’m going to listen to my body’ and have another slice with some polenta fries 😃 dinner was super yummy salmon with a salad followed by some chocolate 🍫
looking at these pictures makes me feel like I’m eating way too much and like I know I’m not but I can’t get the thought out my head
#edrecovery #recovery #recoveryispossible #anarecovery #fulldayofeating
Garlic prawn and soy sauce stirfry after a very busy day
1 serving egg noodles
10 prawns marinated in garlic
Mixed veggies (I used carrot, broccoli, peas, spinach and beans)
3 dashes of soy sauce
2 tsp crushed garlic
Topped with 1 tbsp peanut butter
here’s that poem :)
this is a messy first draft i wrote a while ago, like fall break a while ago. don’t remember what i called it; not sure if it really matters haha. welcome to a poet’s journal.
a lot has happened. i find myself saying that frequently for some reason. i guess a lot kinda happens in life sequentially. right now, things aren’t hard, but they aren’t fabulous. i actually am recovering from ~theFLU~ so that’s been fun, but otherwise i’ve been doing... okay. not great, not terrible. just okay.
many stressful things are happening as i speak rn. school is stressful @crellin
iykyk and my relationships have been beyond stressful as well. all of this stress equates (at least for me) to anxiety and ed. as a result, yes. it’s been difficult to meet exchanges lately.
difficulty means hardship. difficulty also means an opportunity. more specifically, difficulty equates to a chance for you to prove them wrong. it’s a chance for you to fight back. it’s a live example of a time to use skills! that’s pretty cool imo
so. i’ve pulled out all the stops. it’s time to get back on track after these few days of slipping. my body deserves nourishment. so does yours. and i know, it’s so freakin hard to truly believe, but as my best friend says to me all the time (just ask her), “i have no reason to lie to you.” yeah.
i think about that a lot. love you all.
Having lunch at 4:30 as I just got back from my gymnastics practise comp so I haven’t eaten since breakfast 😬😬 it went for so long!! So having this veggie Tika masala curry with a cup of rice and a caramel almond milk 🥛🎃🍅🥒🥦🥕🍛🍚 then I have to have dinner in like 2 hours 😵
Lunch today is vegetable sushi 😋
So I have officially signed into university, gotten my dorm (haven’t met my room mates yet but there was a few cans of alcohol lurking around so that wasn’t very promising 😅😂) and gone food shopping too. Holy fuck all this adulting is hard 😅 still super super nervous tho as I’m not good at socializing and I really don’t wanna be alone on campus 😬 happy with how this is turning so far tho 😌
Hi hello 👋 Took a week off insta bc I realised I was comparing my intake to others and that is never good 🙅🏼♀️Was quite nice to live a bit more in the present and I will probably try to spend less time on social media in general for at least the next few weeks bc I know comparison is a big problem for me 🙇🏼♀️HOWEVER I am still very grateful for the support of this community so wanted to pop back online for a bit 💗
This week I upped my intake and even challenged myself to make dinner for my family which I am very happy with because I refused to let anorexia join me in the kitchen 🙅🏼♀️ I made these cheesy pieburgers 🥧 filled with a mixture of Quorn mince, flavourings, and both vegan and dairy cheese 🧀 because I need to challenge both 💁🏼♀️ Topped it with tomato sauce 🍅 and served with potato mash 🥔, carrots 🥕 and broccoli 🥦 They were very tasty 😍 Almost anything with pastry is never a bad idea imo 😁
Feeling pretty anxious about the week ahead because I will likely be entering inpatient treatment which is very scary but I am trying to remain positive ☀️ Hope you are doing well 🧡
#edrecovery #edfighter #edwarrior #edfam #anorexia #anarecovery #anorexiarecovery #recovery #prorecovery #eatingdisorder #eatingdisorderrecovery #antidiet #strongnotskinny #intuitiveeating #vegetarian #dinner #dairyfree #pie #vegetarianpie #mincepie #food #mostlyplantbased #plantbased
i know i just said i was backing up 🤷🏻♀️ butttttt dinner yesterday and today was pretty 👌🏼 i got to see my therapist today, feeling fear free and medicated as hell. also got to hang out with a little girl from my shooting practice and live a little. kids really being out the beauty in the world ❤️ my councillor told me to carry myself, let diet culture and forced food influence you as much as forced religion, they can’t make you read the bible, and that i’m deserving of my own self respect and discovering my own identity in short. i chant live in fear of being treated as i have in the past. i need to demand a happier future. that is what i will do. today i ate what came natural and made me feel satisfied and full, even though i didn’t need to. i ate candy, i let a little kid pick my lunch, i finished the day with a nourishing power bowl with dressing (!!!!) and buckled down to practice self love through homework, keeping cleaned up, hygiene and caring for my torn hamstring 😅😂 no one will walk on me. screw off ana.
#eatingdisorderrecovery #eatingdisorder #edrecovery #anarecovery #anorexia #anorexiarecovery #bulimiarecovery #anorexic #edwarrior #edfighter #edfamiy #anawarrior #anafighter #fuckana #healthy #health #fitness #eatittobeatit #buddahbowl #salad #quinoa #avocado #prorecovery