the quality of my profile pic got FUCKED
my girlfriend fucking knows about my ed and i hate it. i’m trying to convince her that i’m fine by not telling her the full truth of how i am right now. yeah, i’m eating three full meals a day. but i’m not telling her that i only have 500 cals a day...
seriously??? This is just as triggering as asking someone for nudes... I am honestly pissed off! Why are people like this?!?! It is RIDICULOUS
&&. ive been eating a lot lately and its making me really upset and this guy im talking to is really lowkey triggering me and im just,,,, ugh,,
If I keep my net below 200 calories I should lose 20 pounds this month
Innocence lost? Maybe. Yet something I was told in therapy did and didn't make me feel better about it, because now I am to overly aware of my parental units actions.
Anyway...in other news my body hates me. I was at a newer low at 167 and was expecting to be lower tonight after work out and toxin flushing along with laxatives, instead my reject period had to show up so I am back up to 169. I havent broke 645calories today. This is what I get for eating McDonalds yesterday. This is why I don't eat FAsT food. So I added diarex to my night meds and will keep on top of it. My mum is making dinner but I have a perfectly good reason not to eat (and get away with it since she is ed as well). So side note if you don't want to get some tracked in writing a meaningful post don't go weigh in. Lol.
Also a genuine thank you to those who follow and send responses. I know I'm a train wreck. Just the fact that I have anyone that cares about or that is entertained by what I write means a lot.
#mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #bpd #bpdawareness #ptsd #ptsdawareness #schitzotypal #emotionallydrained #ednos #anamia #laxativejunkie #notreadytorecover #epilepsy #epilepticartist #vampyre #psivamp #cleanandserene
Well I needed a little snack or else I would have binged... lol
Honestly on the deep end rn... .
I dunno why....
I ate a lil over 600 cals which is fine I guess bc I wanna fast tomorrow or eat under 200
4 croutons - 35 cals
Fish oil - 20 cals
Liquid vitamins - 20 cals
I think I did ok...
I would have done better without the croutons but heck at least I didn't binge.....:)
So 75 cals total for lunch,
i have been reading a lot of Marissa Meyer recently. ♥️
#mardigras2019 #mardigras #pose #hujifilm #huji #hujicam #blackandwhite #ana #mia #anamia
i feel so disgusting all the time :( my photos are what i’m okay with posting because i can pose and see how i look before anyone posts them, but i don’t like people taking photos of me. my face is so ugly and my legs look so disgusting. i hate my smile. i hate how my crush doesn’t like me, or how even if he did, i’m going to be moving.
I managed to not gain, I maintained so that’s a good thing I guess
possible trigger warning;
i've only had a banana(89) and might be having some vanilla greek yogurt(81 per 100g, 283,5kcal for the whole 350g box) but i'm not really hungry. i feel kinda ill.
hey y’all! good night! now im having a little mental breakdown but i will get over it i hope. like food is so scary for me now. i like cooking, i like buying food but i really cant eat them. whatever i have therapy tomorrow. then we will go to cinema with my family and i will watch lego so its good. but yeah i will be forced to eat. probably i wont be able to eat lunch at school on monday. 😫♥️
~lunch: soup+ veggies
i'm sorry i haven't posted these last days, i've been a little busy. - tw; -
i've been eating like a pig these last days, but i've also been working out so that makes it just a little bit better.
Random pics I know hahaha🙈
How are you feeling? What are you doing this weekend?💖
Hope you have a great Saturday ✨
I'm on day four of a workout challenge and I'm down like 0.7 kgs (almost two pounds I think??) woooo 😁
Hopefully I keep this up, I'll be happy if I even lose ONE kg each month this year TBH, that'll get me to at least 78 kgs (about 172lbs) and that's a start
(picture from tumblr, dunno who it is)
I woke up feeling fat. I like the days when I wake up feeling skinny and I can touch my hip bones 🌼
QOTD: Do you like plants?
Answer: I love plants and just recently I bought my first plant for my room and it's a cactus. 🌿
I had a mini binge today and ended up eating a lil more that 1000 and I seriously wanna die or throw up or both idk I’m very upset
I woke up late but I lost, only a pound but that’s still something I guess