RECOVERY & HEALING ॐ♡Ψ there is always a way to be what you are!Review of holistic sustainable recovery from mental disorders & addiction -> Insta TV Video 🙏🏿 ______________________________________________________✖️|GERMAN|✖️In meinem letzten Insta TV Video ging es etwas um meine internationale Arbeit als deutsche psychologische Therapeutin, aktuell hier auf Bali. NEU!!! INSTA TV VIDEO - Erfahrungsbericht von einem Herzensmenschen & seine Befreiung von Sucht und Abhängigkeit (clean seit über 15 Jahren!! - Post&Video enthält *Werbung)
This is true of any #relationship
, if we can't deal, and talk to someone else, seek someone else's advice, hide the truth, or loose that person because we can't be truthful with them... Then they never meant as much to us, as we likely meant to them. .
only brings out what's not being said. .
It makes us more #extroverted
about our feelings. Being #drunk
or even blackout drunk does not change who we are. Science has been proving this.
But we will say what we feel, do what we want, and not care about the consequences of how we feel or what we've done until we sober up.
In order to find out who we truly are, we can't hide from ourself with #drugs
or alcohol. .
But we can hurt other's with our words and actions.
So my rock bottom, (at least the very last drop of it), was a 2 day binge including a bottle of vodka, a bottle of whiskey, and a bottle of scotch. It ended with a broken relationship, no home, and finally me choosing myself over alcohol. From there it was off to rehab, then detox, the ER, back to detox, and then to back to rehab.
I don’t remember much of those days. I spent 5 days and 4 nights in detox, only really remembering the equivalent of one full day.
But now, 928 days later, I’m still sober, I bought a house, just got promoted to VP at work, and still have the love of my life.
Sobriety is not easy. It’s fighting everyday for yourself. It’s learning to control your urges, to sit in your painful emotions, and that it’s ok to just yell “fuck” if that’s what you have to do. I thank my HP every damn night for the day behind me and ask for strength for the day ahead.
Stay strong my friends. If you need help, ask for it. Never feel weak for needing to love yourself. 🥰
I haven't posted in a long time. I don't count my days but I count my blessings. It's a constant battle but its worth fighting. I have too much to live for. I've faced a few rough days because of personal issues and I've maintained my sanity. I'm honestly impressing myself.
I've never been faced with such cruelty as I've been dealing with with my kids' father. Putting me down seems to build him up.
I acknowledge my issues but he ignores his and deflects it on me.
Why do people do this?... weakness. It's a way to ignore the battlefield in which they stand. Its very easy to put down someone who has been open with their addiction. But it makes us all stronger to acknowledge and push forward. We're faced with a battle daily that no one else truly understands. Within that battle comes the outside bullying, emotional abuse, ridicule, and judgement. We are never what they say. We are out actions and how we handle it all. ❤
I think we need to remember that our parents have a lot of healing to do themselves.
Things were different back then and not much was spoken about.
It took me a long time to realise that they only know what they know.
If they had a bad upbringing and didn’t have the skills to do things differently then they most likely will act the same.
We are lucky that in our generation we have so much insight into our childhoods and trauma. We have access to so many avenues of help and it makes it a lot easier for us to move forward, if we choose to.
I grew up with alcoholism in both sides of the family.
It was my normal.
So as I grew up I drank too.
I wouldn’t say I was addicted to alcohol, I didn’t drink everyday but I turned to it to numb or escape my struggles.
I became someone I didn’t like and used alcohol for confidence in social settings.
I was sick of the broken promises to myself and sick of the empty apologies to everyone.
So I decided to break the cycle and stick to my word.
Nearly three years on and not one drop of alcohol.
It’s been the hardest journey but the best thing I have ever done.
It’s a long process.
I am still learning and growing everyday.
I am still terrified in social settings.
I still want to escape and I still want to numb my struggles with a drink.
But instead I just take it day by day trying my best not to touch alcohol again.
The most important relationship in your life is the relationship you have with yourself. ✨ treat yourself with compassion and love and you will blossom! 🙏🏻
After My "Spiritual Awakening" on 07.07.17 I wrote this in my jail cell.
Today, I am ONCE AGAIN turning my life back over to Jesus and I am giving my father ONCE AGAIN my entire self, including my past losses, anger, resentments, and shame.
Today, I ONCE AGAIN humbly hand over to Jesus every moment of disgrace, every tear I have ever cried, every word I could take back, all the bad choices, all the broken promises, all the loneliness, all the dreams that died, all the dashed hopes, and broken relationships.
Today, I ONCE AGAIN humbly hand over to Jesus all my failures and all of yesterdays scars left in my life.
Thank you God for being my redeemer, the restorer of my losses. You are the Lord of all even of my days and my dreams in the past.
When I give God the past, he will make up for all I have lost... ONCE AGAIN
God will rid me of the shame and fill the empty places in my heart... ONCE AGAIN - Michael
M2 The ROCK Radio
Paparazzo by @dannycampbellphotography @m2therock
Some days I feel like navigating this life of #alcoholism
is like these mountains. Both beautiful but so complicated. So many twists and blind turns. I had the opportunity to fly out for the family weekend at my husband’s treatment place and it was a wonderful opportunity. It was hard but so worth it. So many emotions. I come away from it feeling hopeful and at peace. But there are still moments of confusion and wonder. I’m so glad I went. I feel ready to come home and dig in. To dig deep. To take this time away to really learn more about myself, who I am, what I want, what I don’t want. To do some self growth and take care of myself. Because I deserve it. And so does he. We’re both working hard. We both deserve to be healthy individually and together. I’m not sure what that looks like bc we’ve never been healthy together. But I know we can do it and it’s going to be different, but it’s going to be beautiful. #thatslife #ourjourney #adventuresoflife #recoveringtogether
My father is dying, i am devistated, i visit him often, i get in trouble for visiting so often. "Why do you have to go there all the f'ing time". I tell him he doesnt understand, i tell him i am saying my goodbyes. He tells me i have already said goodbye, how many to times do i have to do it. I cry and tell him no amount of goodbyes will ever be enough.
My father passes away at home, it is one of the hardest yet at the same time most beautiful time in my life. I am devistated for the loss of my beautiful dad but i am relieved that it is all over for him. My father dies at home with all of his children & grandchildren all around an amazing thing that isnt afforded to too many people.
At the wake for my father it is a non drinking event. We have lots of friends and relatives who have travelled from as far away as Cairns to come. I am so proud of my father and the anount of people who loved him so much and felt the same way about him as i did. It is a beautiful time catching up with them all but he keeps telling me we should go after having only been there an hour and a half. I tell him i dont want to and keep chatting to different people. He doesnt let up. Eventually we leave, this time not because he is hassling me but because my younger sister is in labour with her third child and i want to get to the hospital to support her. I am upset and tell him so, i cant understand why he would hassle me, although deep down i know why. He tells me that i dont know how f'ing hard today was for him. I crack it and say, "are you for real!! Its my fucking father's funeral". Its all about him. It typical. There is nothing left to say. He gets some beer on the way home and all is well again once he cracks a beer.
My nephew is born. All is well. I have never experienced a day like this before. I have just felt the full spectrum of emotion all in one day. So much beauty, so much hurt & pain.
Once Again.... Sometimes when your poorly you constantly feel that you are being judged. Everything you do is because you are ill. Your happy, your sad, your angry, your mad! Learn about your illnesses and be sound in your own mind, this maybe just you. Be strong, be bold and cut it out of your life. Negativity, you just don’t need it. After a while, you will feel that you can breath, once again. You may even hear the birds sing, once again. You may even feel happiness, once again.
#depression #anxietyrelief #anxiety #depressionhelp #bipolar #bipolarawareness #personalitydisorder #personalitydisorders #alcoholism #recovery #pain #grief #suffer #blackness #hopelessness #narsissist #selfesteem #ego
Happy Saturday, all! 💙
Tonight I'm presented with a new sober first... a wedding celebration. Normally, I'm used to being the loudest, silliest (&most trashed) person at any given function. Tonight, I'll just be the onlooker to my partner and friends...
I'm not going to lie, I am having a little bit of anxiety. I haven't really "come out" to this group of friends. And FOMA (fear of missing alcohol, thanks @rubywarrington
) is SO real. But I'm staying curious about how the evening will go and confident that I can still enjoy the laughter and company of everyone there. Worrying will only mean I suffer twice!
Always believe in yourself!
Today my aunt would have been 50 years old. If she were here on earth, I think she’d be sitting on a beach somewhere sipping the sweetest + strongest drink she could get her hands on. She probably rub raw baby oil on her tan skin and insist “that’s how us Cali girls get our tans” and would joke about how she is finally over the hill but doesn’t look like it....not to mention it’s a Saturday and weed is legal here ✌🏼 we’d be besties. But in reality...She wouldn’t slow down, she wouldn’t hit pause, she wouldn’t look in the mirror and look at her life from a different perspective. She dug her heels deep into her beliefs and wasn’t open to changing into what the world wanted her to be. She felt judged and different and wasn’t scared to be on her own. She pushed people away while she pulled other people close. And to those few I am grateful. 💕 thinking of my aunt today and all her death has taught me. How perspective has proven to be an essential tool in my arsenal of life-skills. How proud I am to have been her only niece and how scared I was to admit how alike I was to her..how alike I AM. I think that today if she were alive she would be happy and free. She would be schooling me on all the mistakes I have made + show me the way to a happiness beyond myself.
If you’d like to hear more about her story and how my daughter Charly Rae essentially got the spelling of her name, I’ll be sharing a bit on my blog later after the kids go to bed + a quick @thelifebookproject
workshop to show you some ways I have used her story in my journal to heal ✨
On a real note- If you love someone TELL THEM- and then remind them everyday. That is a new life-skill I am going to work on.
I hope you will too ✌🏼
#happybirthday #lifelessons #tellheryouloveher #beautifulhuman #mentalhealth #anxiety #alcoholism #mentalhealthawareness #depression
✨It’s okay to have days where you cannot cope and need help.
I try to be as kind as possible to myself during these times, and reach out for help when I need it.
There is strength in not being strong. 💛💛
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