people generally dont talk about not wanting children - but I didnt want children; for as long as I can remember no part of me desired any part of motherhood yet sometimes when I look at these two I wonder how my heart hasnt exploded yet.
thru my addiction I figured I wasnt capable emotionally or physically of carrying or raising a child. as all my moms best friends celebrated becoming grandparents i overheard her confide in a friend that it appeared being a grandmother wasnt in the cards for her; my brother married another man who didnt want children & i roamed about as a thirty year old child, caustically strung out on heroin & crack.
when I found out about my pregnancy with Brixton I chain smoked for two weeks before quitting at the point it really mattered. we discussed all the options & despite fear on both our sides we committed our lives to caring for & protecting this little fella. we were in early recovery - he celebrated a year & i celebrated 18mo clean less than a month before Brixton's birth; but I finished working my steps before I became a mother because the idea being responsible for a dependent, helpless, living creature felt surreal & terrifying.
Im ridiculously grateful I got to know my self before I got to meet my son.
to me, my son is a concrete reminder of the importance of faith - without faith he wouldnt be here & I wouldnt know the love Id be missing or the courageously vulnerable person Ive become as a result of that love.
is it a struggle? fuck yeah. but these moments make the struggle worth it; knowing I can be more than I ever thought possible makes it worth it; knowing I can feel love more than I ever thought possible makes it worth it 💖 xox
#ifuckinglovescience #goadventuretogether #letthemexplore #wildandfreechildren #toddlerontheloose #honestmotherhood #uncens #motherhoodunplugged #toddlerbreastfeeding #punksgoneparent #ourcandidlife #thehappynow #fatherandson #ontheroad #onstage #ontour #concertphotographer #tourphotographer #workingmom #sobermom #sobrietyrocks #cleanandsober #giftsofrecovery #soberaf #justfortoday #odaat #wedorecover
Sure do love this man.. he has been there through thick n thin.. I honor my dad today.. I used to be so disrespectful n ungrateful towards him.. we've had some rough years the last 4 or so years but today we are both clean n in the best restoration process.. if it weren't for God n N.A. we would still be just a spill in society.. but thanks to God n N.A. we are active n productive members of society.. I love you Dad.. always have n always will.. I miss you n can't wait to see you.. #jonespride #wedorecover
I’m so happy @c8linlenore
suggested a doodle of a happy liver because I did one in my early doodle days! I pulled it back up and I’m beyond excited that my description from four months ago works for myself tonight!! I wrote, “My liver is so happy tonight!!! I only get one and I know I’m not invincible. I know people who have suffered due to various illnesses and diseases. They would do anything for the health I have, including never drink again. So here is a booze free toast to a healthy Saturday night! 🥤”
and the urges are strong! Does anyone else get a few days, weeks, months and find the alcohol monster starts scheming plans for just "one day" or "I'll stop again on this date" it's so fucking frustrating..
I suppose there's a reason I got a tattoo that says "Starve The Fucking Monster" for a reason.. I've played this game SOOOOO many times.. So imma gonna meditate on this and check my ego.. Oh and keep starving the monster.. #sober #soberlife #livethislife #odaat #recovery #wedorecover #sobercommunity #sobersisters #afaf #freedom #stfm
There’s beauty in our differences. Embrace yours. 🌟
Let’s be super honest for a minute. We see a lot of posts on social media about recovery. Whether it’s a death from overdose, someone shipped off to rehab, or celebrating 60 days or even 20 years. We see either the worst of the worst or the best of the best. I’m here to remind you all, that sometimes there’s life in the middle and sometimes that gets messy. Some days are going to be hell. Feeling emotions will feel like drowning. Flashbacks will happen. Regret and shame will creep in. Tears are going to fall down your face when you’re home alone on a Saturday night. Some days the anger will come back. Some days will be so monotonous you’ll cringe. You’ll get bored. You’ll feel left out and isolated by your sobriety. But regardless of all that, you’ll survive. Because you’re sober. Because no matter how shitty life feels sometimes, you remind yourself what it was like to wake up the next day wondering what the hell happened. You’ll remind yourself what it was like to be so numb you were begging to feel anything at all. You’ll remind yourself that the feelings will pass, but your addiction might not if you give in one last time. So please please please. Know you’re not alone. Know it is only temporary. And remind yourself what got you sober to begin with. 🖤
Tomorrow is #GratitudeDay
Join us at 1pm.
This day marks the anniversary of New Directions admitting clients and families into treatment in 1981.
I do believe this boy was brought into this world for deeper reasons than he will ever know. There are times in my life that I almost didn’t survive.... not only throughout my addiction, but in my premature childhood as well. My husband will speak the same truth of himself. It is apparent to us both that this boy was meant to be on this earth for reasons that we can’t explain. He touches the lives and brings joy to more people than he even understands. At 2.5 years old, he can’t even begin to comprehend his impact. I believe that God sent this boy into my life to give me something to fight for, to show me there is so much love in this world, to give so much hope, and to bring countless people an endless amount joy. Because of this boy, some of my darkest demons showed their face. And because of this boy, I couldn’t let those demons win. Nash, you have not only saved me, but you are already doing more work in this world just by purely existing. All the proof I need in God I have found it in you. You, my beautiful blue eyed boy, are a gift from the heavens. 💙
#wedorecover #boymom #proudmom #littleboy #yousavedme #giftfromgod #blueeyedboy #postpartum #postpartumdepressionsurvivor #mominrecovery #gratitude #grateful #family #livewithpurpose #nashandrew
2 years ago I had my first trip to Ohio and @ashtangacbus
and completed the Ashtanga and Addiction Forum. My life just kept getting better. And this weekend 2 years later I'm leading a yoga teacher training at @balanceyogaatlanta
and I am still being shocked everyday this gets to be part of my life. I have a career and a husband and pups, a home, mortgage, bills, teach 4 days a week and my life is FULL and I count my blessings everyday. Every. Damn. Day.
One of my New Years Resolutions was to fall in love with lifting again.
That included focusing less on the scale and more on the bar. I’ve gone through quite a few phases: gaining the freshman 15, obsessively counting calories, gaining weight again, saying “screw it” and binge eating, losing 25 pounds after college, obsessing again, becoming underweight, and the quest for balance. ⚖️ Instagram has been my worst enemy when it comes to deciding on how I should treat my fitness journey. It’s always a choice to click away or unfollow, but when certain aesthetics, body types, workout clothes, etc. have been conditioned to be the norm after years of ~*IG Fitspo*~, it can be tough to differentiate what works for the long term and what’s only curated for the gram. 🤳🏼 There have been moments where I’m either feeling empowered or battling with old patterns of self talk. But I have the gift of recovery on my side - the gift of staying present and with my emotions rather than try to numb them out. I’m not giving up. Neither should you.
This is so important! I’ve been dealing with some nonsense for a couple of weeks now and I’ve been leaning on my sobriety like a motherfucker. I thought about drinking. Once. And then it dawned on me that my sobriety is actually what’s helping me to get through this shit. Sobriety has given me a life I can be proud of. It’s given me courage. And strength. And peace. It’s given me another chance to live. It’s given me stable relationships. And the ability to think on my feet. So while I’ve lost late nights out with random folks who didn’t give one shit about me, I’ve gained so much more. And I’m so very grateful to have gotten to this place. I can handle life’s ups and downs these days. Don’t get me wrong, I wish I didn’t have to deal with them and while I’m in the midst of them I’m like oh shit, but there’s so much I’ve gained from choosing to live life sober. And while it hasn’t always been easy, I wouldn’t have it any other way. #sober #soberisbetter #recovery #womeninrecovery #recoveryinprogress #wedorecover #ivegainedsomuch #itsajourney #thingsgetbetter #youvegottoturnthepage #imaboutthislife #sober #soberlifeisthebestlife #soberlife
Congrats Bill on 23 yrs of freedom..your an inspiration #wedorecover
Today we had our first Impact Training! It’s safe to say it went fantastic. We had people representing the medical field, law enforcement, pastors, and community leaders all come together for training and encouragement on how to more effectively impact their communities in this fight against addiction. This will be the first of many 🙏 if you or your community are interesting in hosting us for an Impact Training or are curious to know what it’s about contact us and stay tuned for our video about this very needed training. 🙏🔥💯 #impact #recovery #transformingcommunities #lovepeople
Today marks 11 months clean AND it's the last day at this job before I start my new job on Monday. Took a leap of faith and am pretty proud of myself😅 #32318
Is night time a hard time for you? You used to drink at night to relax after a long day, you want a night cap? SHNAP OUT OF IT!!!-Cher
Becoming a better me. One day at a time. One minute at a time. One second at a time. Always growing. Love my life and the strong people I have in it. Looking to the stars 10 months ago I asked God to help me stay clean. He did. Much love to the man upstairs for guiding me and teaching me love. #awakening #selfacceptance #beautiful #gift #wedorecover #fuckdrugs
✨Positivity is key✨
Look at all the beautiful, positive things in your life. It’s okay to see the negative and feel how you feel because of it but is one negative moment in your day worth dismissing all the positive?
✨You get to choose✨
You can either feel sorry for yourself and think this is happening to you or treat what has happened as a learning opportunity and see that it’s happening for you. Everything is either an opportunity to grow or an obstacle to keep you from growing. You get to choose. I may make mistakes but those mistakes don’t define me. They give me an opportunity to grow. I have faults and mistakes but I get to become stronger because of them (if I chose). I can let my mistakes and faults destroy me or I can grow and learn from them. Everyday is a learning opportunity, we will come across things that make us uncomfortable or uneasy but we can avoid it or learn from it.
✨I miss summer because I miss flowers✨
five months & forever grateful for all of this ⚾️⚾️