“Before I Die” wall 2014
Notes on sobriety... needle in your arm, leaving the house in the middle of the night to find what you desperately need, despite whatever danger that poses, sweat it out cold turkey kicking heroin in jail, shaking and vomiting and certain that you’re not cut out for life (praying you don’t lose your mind or die-and sometimes wishing you would ) then you can do ANYTHING. You’ve been through the unthinkable and you have done the unimaginable to keep the gut wrenching horrid sickness from creeping in then you can do it again. Except this time it’s the unimaginable revisited. Chase your sobriety as much as you chased your next fix. Hustle for your new life and your joy and peace of mind as if your life depends on it. Because it does. Hustle to put a cheesy laughing smile on your face. Jump as high and wild and carelessly as you can fathom on the trampoline. Get as as high as you can on a swing set pumping your legs with all you have, feeling all the butterflies in your belly. Lie barefoot in the sun letting it soak in and send shivers of warmth up your skin. Keep running even when you feel you’ll explode,or BECAUSE you feel like exploding, you need those endorphins. Risk your pride and ask for help from a friend, group, mentor, stranger, or just dare to write it all down to get the maddeningly apathetic, angry, sad, soul crushing energy out of you. So it’s not bouncing around inside of you making you feel helpless and cold and afraid and wanting. Seek new adventures. Educate yourself. Help someone, anyone or anything you can. Even when, ESPECIALLY when you don’t feel qualified. Look for magic. It starts with the ordinary, which is where extraordinary begins. Chase ordinary, not the kind with fences and walls built up all around, that’s just prison time. Get comfortable with being uncomfortable and vice-versa. Let yourself feel it all. Safety nets aren’t for you. Air bags are cool and all but a lot of good they’ll do if you go insane.
You’re never going to learn that life is okay if you don’t let go of control and fear and LIVE it.
Forget carpe diem, CARPE OMNIA!✌🏻#recoverysayings #recoverytodaymag