Continued from previous post.
. YOU MUST (FILL IN THE BLANK) NOW
I heard another parenting expert use the must & now example at a conference once and we have implemented it ever since. The man speaking was asked to come up with processes to help the military train new recruits.
He found that when an authority figure delivers commands, he or she must be completely clear. Meaning you should say exactly what you want done and when you want it done. For instance, using the words, “You Must Go To Bed Now,” lets your child know it is unarguably bedtime right now.
. I WANT TO SAY YES
For a while, we had a hard time with forts in our house. The kids wanted to make forts in their rooms and sleep in them, like every night. I am all about saying yes to as much fun and bonding as possible, but they were not picking up their rooms afterward. So we had a talk about how I won’t be saying yes anymore to forts until they started showing me improved responsibility. Let your child be responsible for getting a ‘yes!’
. I LOVE YOU TOO MUCH TO LET YOU DO THAT
You get this, right? Then you’ll understand why I tell my kids this: If I saw you walking towards a cliff, I would run as fast as I could and tackle/pummel you if it meant stopping you from going off the edge.
. YOU DON’T HAVE TO UNDERSTAND
Parents regularly get caught up in the trap of falsely thinking they have to explain everything to their children. You don’t. It is great to discuss what your family stands for, why you function like you do and what your vision is as a whole.However, there are all kinds of cognitive abilities that your child does not have yet. So trying to explain every decision you make is a huge waste of time and counterproductive as it only serves to exasperate a kid.
There is so much information floating around about what is and is not good parenting. What is good for your child and what isn’t. You know why there’s so much information? Here’s the honest-to-goodness truth… there’s a crap ton of information because there’s a crap ton to know!!!